


the smoke's building in my lungs

by colourmeblue



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Post-Canon, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4475042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblue/pseuds/colourmeblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke’s hand was warm against Lexa’s, and it matched the warmth she felt whenever green eyes met blue, and she was lost to her.</p><p>(or, a short-ish post-2x16 fic, in which Clarke unintentionally finds Lexa after leaving Camp Jaha)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after the finale, but obviously we've received so much more information since then (including the S3 trailer!) so I'll be adding canon plot points if they're relevant. So, it's clearly not canon, it's just an alternative to it.
> 
> A couple of major points - I wrote this before we knew there was a tower in Polis, so Lexa lives in a house, but she lives on the top of a hill, so it's a similar concept. Also, she has kill scars.

Clarke would be lying if she said she had a definite destination in mind when she had left camp. How could she? It had been a split second decision that she hadn’t given any thought to. She had just wanted to get out of there before everyone discovered her plans and tried to stop her. Her mother, Octavia, Raven — they would all be asking questions. Questions which Clarke couldn’t answer at the time.

She just had to quietly slip away from camp. That was the best way. Bellamy was the only one who knew, and he would have to break the news. But by then, Clarke would be long gone.

There was a large flaw in her plan, though. The fact that she had no supplies was going to cause a problem. All she had was the blood-stained clothes on her back, the gun at her hip, and her knife concealed at her waist. She couldn’t risk entering camp just to get supplies. Just seeing the faces of the people she had come to know — _her_ people — would only cause her to break.

It was the right thing to do. It had to be.

A part of her wanted to go somewhere she had never been before, in order to get a new perspective. She made a beeline straight for the forest just for that reason. She had traversed through there many times before, but it was usually with more of her people. She had never really had time to just stop and take in the scenery around her. Even when the dropship had first landed on Earth, she had been too wrapped up in finding Mount Weather to even enjoy herself. Ever since they had come down here, they hadn’t had a single moment of peace. Now that Clarke was alone though, it was just her and her thoughts, she didn’t have to worry about anything else for the time being.

She didn’t expect to have so much responsibility when she landed on Earth, and she needed to get away from that burden for a while. She just hoped that her people didn’t think she was abandoning them.

Clarke wandered for days. She took her time, and still had no set destination. It was probably better that way — to just explore and see where she ended up. She was sick of planning and mapping and strategizing. She just wanted to let go for once and see where that took her.

Probably not the best idea in hindsight, but Clarke didn’t care.

For the first time that she had arrived on Earth, she was going to be free.

She eventually found a suitable place to bunker down and make a small camp. She knew (or, she _hoped_ ) she wasn’t near any sort of life form, because she just didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone or anything. She just needed to be alone. And she was. She had already spent weeks in the camp, spending her time hunting and gathering. She couldn’t handle any interaction with anyone — not right now when everything was still so raw and she was still so vulnerable.

Clarke had no idea what time of year it was. Things like that weren’t monitored on the Ark (because they didn’t need to be, the temperature and climate was always the same) but she knew that it mattered on Earth. It was a harsh and hostile environment — a place that Clarke had never fully experienced before. She had read about the seasons and the different types of weather, but she never knew how brutal it was until she was actually exposed to the elements.

Despite not knowing a thing about the weather, she had to admit that it was beginning to get colder and colder during the nights. It was only made worse by the fact that she spent all day in the woods, which didn’t get a whole lot of sunlight, so it just managed to be cold all day. A fire could only keep her so warm, and when it rained, it was nearly impossible to keep the wood dry.

So, it wasn’t a huge surprise to Clarke when she began running a fever when the nights became colder. Honestly, it would have only been a matter of time. She had never been on her own for this long before. Even when she was locked up in isolation on the Ark, at least someone would always bring her food. Out here, there was absolutely no sign of human life. Despite it being peaceful, Clarke knew that ultimately she couldn’t live this way forever.

After two days of sweating and fever, she was much too weak to hunt and collect food. She spent hours up against a tree, shivering, and she mentally cursed herself. She should’ve known that it wouldn’t last.

Clarke felt herself shift in and out of consciousness multiple times. There were many moments where she felt like she was hallucinating. It was like she was seeing other bodies around her and hearing voices from all directions. She was sure it was all in her head, and that there was nobody _actually_ watching her and whispering around her. She was sure it was just the wind, and her mind playing tricks on her.

That was, until she was ambushed.

The men surrounded her on all sides. She should’ve known immediately that it was the Grounders, and a part of her already did, but the main part of her brain really didn’t want it to be. The only clan around these parts was the Woods Clan, which only meant one thing.

As the tall and well-built Grounder warriors encircled her, she knew there was no point trying to fight back. She was weak, and it wouldn’t end well for her. She knew she would end up dead straight away.

\------

Lexa sat at her throne, one leg draped casually over the other. She had been talking to some of the prisoners who had been freed from Mount Weather when one her guards entered her tent unexpectedly. Lexa narrowed her eyes at the Grounder who was probably three times her size, but she maintained her position.

“We sent you out on patrol only two hours ago. Why are you back so soon?” _Despite_ being three times her size, Lexa’s glare could cut the man down in an instant. Nobody questioned her, and nobody disobeyed her command.

“We have the leader of the Sky People, Commander. She seems to be ill.” The guard informed her, and Lexa stood up a little too quickly. However, when she saw that Clarke was being carried in by another one of her guards unconscious instead of walking in on her own free will, Lexa’s ‘Commander’ demeanour took over once more.

“What happened?” She asked sternly, her eyes betraying the concern she felt. She wasn’t dense — she could see how pale Clarke looked. But she wasn’t sure what that could be from. It had been weeks since Mount Weather had been defeated. Was it possible that there was some other threat that Lexa was unaware of? Then again, she wasn’t sure why Clarke was out on her own, and Lexa didn’t even have much of an idea about what happened at Mount Weather. _And_ she had no idea why Clarke was anywhere near her village. “Did you hurt her?”

The Grounder didn’t answer right away, but Lexa already knew. “We found her. She was almost unconscious already. We did what you told us to do.”

Lexa absentmindedly wondered why her and her guards were conversing in English. And so fluently, as well. She’d spent far too much time with these Sky People, she had decided. And so had her people. They were already beginning to lose a piece of themselves.

“It was easy for us to take her, she didn’t put up much of a fight.”

Lexa's jaw clenched. When she had ordered her people to catch any outsiders found on their land, she wasn’t thinking of Clarke. She didn’t expect it to be Clarke. But she couldn’t punish them for something she had ordered them to do. She bit her tongue. “Take her to the healers, I will come by soon.” She ordered, nodding her head in the direction of the guard holding Clarke.

“Yes, heda.”

Lexa didn’t have to tell her guards to be careful with Clarke. They could tell that just by the look in her eyes. Yet they didn’t question it, which was the intelligent thing to do. Lexa had been known to kill without hesitation, and to question her motives and her feelings meant certain death.

\------

Yet, of course, Lexa, just like everyone else, had a weakness.

It wasn’t long before she found herself in the healers’ tent, tentatively pulling back the covered entrance and stepping inside. She was hesitant, part of her not wanting Clarke to see her, the other part anxious to see what state the blonde was in. Her guards and patrollers had been too harsh in the past, accidentally killing the people they were meant to just capture. She prayed this wasn’t one of those times. She had hoped they weren’t lying to her when they said they didn’t harm her.

One of the female healers looked at Lexa for a moment in confusion, and the Commander knew why. She was never down here. Of course, she cared about her people, that much was obvious, but she was never one to visit one of them individually. She was usually far too busy. (And, she didn’t want to seem weak.) But then again, Clarke wasn’t one of her people. The healers were probably also confused as to why one of the Sky People was in _their_ tent, and not tied to a tree outside.

Clarke wasn’t the only person in the tent, due to the injuries her warriors had sustained outside of camp. As per their usual traditions, though, Clarke was at the back, partitioned off so that she was not in the same room as the Grounders. It was the kind of thing they did out of respect, not that they got outsiders in their villages all too often.

“ _She should wake up soon. She seemed to be falling ill due to the cold, but she should be fine._ ” The healer told her in Trigedasleng, to which Lexa only nodded at.

“ _Leave us_ ,” The Commander ordered quietly to the healer that had been hovering around, although there was a slight waver in her voice. She cleared her throat quickly. She couldn’t afford to have anyone see her like this. Especially not her own people.

Luckily, the healer obeyed her instantly, and left the partitioned area without another word. Lexa frowned as soon as she laid her eyes on Clarke. Lexa knew that she wasn’t able to save everyone, but looking at Clarke the way she was right now, she briefly wished that she somehow could. Everything seemed so much simpler, looking at Clarke in that way. And Clarke looked peaceful, too. That was something Lexa hadn’t seen before. She knew she was partially to blame for that, but she would no longer justify her decision. She did what needed to be done.

Since there was no place for her to sit, Lexa knelt by her bedside. She wasn’t sure what Clarke’s reaction would be if the first face she saw was that of the woman who had betrayed her a month or so ago, but she was willing to take that risk. She didn’t want Clarke slipping out of the village without Lexa seeing her first. Of course, she didn’t see Clarke as a threat, but she was incredibly curious as to why Clarke was so far away from her camp. And why she was alone.

\------

Clarke stirred in her slumber, and the first sensation she was met with was the pounding in her head. She vaguely remembered feeling weak, and not having enough water. The cold had crept up on her, and she had forgotten how frigid it could become, even with a fire. She knew she must have become sick, as she remembered developing a fever. It was her own fault, she should’ve known better. Despite that, the entire ‘journey’ seemed like a waste of time. She had no plan or destination in mind. Although, dying from exposure seemed a pretty poor way to go after everything that had happened to her.

As she tried to collect her thoughts, she let her eyes flutter open, and panic filled her as she discovered that she was staring at the roof of a tent. Where in the hell was she? Maybe someone from Camp Jaha had found her and brought her back? That didn’t make a lot of sense, she had travelled quite a ways from camp in the past few weeks. Bellamy would have stopped anyone who tried to look for her. At least, she hoped he would out of respect for her.

It was then that she turned her head, and she almost choked on nothing at the sight she saw in front of her.

Lexa was right next to her, her back against the ‘wall’ of the tent. In the dark, she could make out that Lexa’s eyes were closed. _How long had she been here for if she had been able to fall asleep?_ She took her surroundings in once more. She recognised the tent, she had been here before. This was one of the medical tents for one of the villages of the Woods Clan.

The Grounders _were_ the ones who had found her.

Clarke inhaled deeply. When she had left Camp Jaha, her first thought had been to find Lexa. It was a completely irrational thought, she knew that. But who else was she going to find out in the wilderness? With Mount Weather defeated, the only people out there that Clarke knew of were the Grounders. So, despite everything that had happened at Mount Weather, her first thought was Lexa. But after what she had done at Mount Weather herself, how it was so hauntingly similar to what Lexa had done, maybe it was the best plan.

Clarke watched Lexa for a moment. She had almost forgotten what she looked like without her war paint. Easily five years younger than she did with it on. She looked like a relaxed teenager, her chest rising and falling with the rhythm of her breathing. Her heart almost ached with the thought of Lexa watching out for her. It was obvious that the Commander wanted to have a chance to talk to Clarke before she left.

Clarke wondered what she had to say. Clarke wondered if the words she wanted to say to Lexa would spill out as well.

A large part of her wanted to tell Lexa everything that happened at Mount Weather. Because she wasn’t even mad anymore. She _understood_ , and that was the entire reason she left Camp Jaha. She shouldn’t have _had_ to understand. She should’ve felt like a complete monster, or, better yet, not have done what she did at all. Yet she had. She had learned a lot more from Lexa and the Grounders than she realised. And that large part of her wanted to try and pick at Lexa’s brain. Try to figure out why she felt this way.

It was only a very small part of her that wanted to be mad at Lexa for making her this way. For teaching her all of her survival skills that the old Clarke would have easily dismissed. _“We do what we must to survive,”_ and _“Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.”_ Clarke didn’t think any of those words had sunk in until she was pulling the lever at Mount Weather. Lexa had been an even bigger influence on her than she ever thought possible.

Despite these conflicting feelings, she couldn’t deny that what Lexa did _hurt_.

Pushing that thought out of her mind for the moment, Clarke tried her best to get up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and tried sitting up. The pounding in her head and ringing in her ears wasn’t helping matters. She knew she was dehydrated, but she had to get Lexa’s attention.

“Lexa,” she murmured quietly, reaching out to touch the Commander on the arm.

Clarke hadn’t realised that Lexa was such a light sleeper, because as soon as she came into contact with her skin, Lexa’s hand went straight for the knife at her waist, and she held it against Clarke’s wrist, ready to dig the blade into her skin at any moment.

Usually Clarke would have been angry with the motion. But it was only Lexa, and she knew her tendencies. “ _God_. Relax, okay? It’s me. Clarke.”

Lexa stared at her with wide eyes for a moment before letting out an irritated sigh, putting her knife away at her side. “You shouldn’t surprise me like that, Clarke. You could get hurt.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to wake you.”

Lexa gave Clarke her usual understanding nod. Her eyes then travelled down to Clarke’s hand that was still placed on her arm.

Clarke quickly retracted her hand away as soon as she noticed Lexa staring. Since when was she awkward in front of her? Why did everything feel so much heavier this time around? “Why am I here, Lexa? How did I get here?”

“I told my people to capture any outsiders found on our lands while they were patrolling.” Lexa replied with a shrug. “I didn’t expect that _you_ would be the first person they picked up.”

“Your people _attacked_ me?!” Clarke hissed, making a move to stand up.

“Clarke! Stop.” Lexa whispered. “No, they didn’t attack you. You were in and out of consciousness. You would’ve died out there if they hadn’t brought you here.” 

Clarke frowned, opening her mouth to say something in protest, before closing it again. She supposed it was fair, with the treaty being over now. She didn’t even realise she was traipsing into Grounder territory. She was lucky she wasn’t killed as soon as the Grounders had seen her. Still, the thought of someone abducting her under Lexa’s orders wasn’t exactly a pleasant one. “The treaty is over. Why am I not tied to a tree or something?”

“You are not a danger to me, Clarke. You are simply a guest here now. Everyone knows that once your injuries have healed, you will be on your way.”

“But why?” Clarke questioned. “After everything…”

“ _I_ betrayed _you_. Not the other way around. Do you remember?” Lexa gave her a hint of a smile.

Clarke couldn’t help but return her smile. Lexa trying to crack a joke was something that shouldn’t be ignored. “It’s not what I thought it was. I know that now.”

Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Obviously something had happened at Mount Weather. Little did she know it was a game-changer for Clarke. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Clarke thought for a moment. She could either talk about it and try to pick apart Lexa’s brain for some answers, or she could not talk about it and more than likely never see Lexa again.

She immediately thought the former was a much better option.

“Okay. But can we leave the tent? There are so many of your people in here and I just…” She felt uncomfortable.

Lexa nodded once before getting to her feet. “Follow me.”

\------

Clarke had watched the sunrise plenty of times since the hundred had come down to Earth, but it had never been quite like this.

Having Lexa by her side, war paint free and loose curls with few braids flowing in the slight breeze, made it even more surreal. Clarke had seen a sunrise before; she hadn’t seen Lexa like this. Now that the war between them and Mount Weather was over, now that the immediate threat had been extinguished, she looked almost peaceful as she sat there, gazing out at the woods from their vantage point on the hill.

And Clarke had told her everything.

“You did the right thing, Clarke.” Lexa murmured softly once she was finished, her eyes still trained straight ahead. “I know you find it hard to accept. I did too, when I first began leading my people. But it’s… it’s what we must do. If you hadn’t have done what you did, think of how many of your friends that you would be burying right now.”

Clarke could only nod. Bringing up what she had done only made her feel numb. But, she knew Lexa was right. She had to be right. The same rules didn’t apply down here than they did up on the Ark.

“I’m glad you decided to tell me about it. I’m sure there are people at your camp that don’t agree with your decision.”

Clarke’s mind immediately went to Jasper. The look on his face with a dying Maya in his arms. Just one out of the many faces that would haunt her for a long time to come. Bellamy had told her that it was a decision they would bear together, that the weight could be shared. But he was wrong. If she hadn’t have pulled that lever when she did, it would have been too late for all of them. It something she had to bear on her own.

And Lexa knew all about bearing weights on her own.

“You did the right thing,” Lexa repeated when Clarke didn’t speak. “I knew you would.”

Clarke turned to look at her. She couldn’t deny the Commander’s simplistic beauty. Even her side profile managed to captivate the blonde for a few moments. Just seeing her staring out at the world, lost in her own thoughts; it made her want to be closer. To truly get to know her. “How did you know?”

“Because like I said, you were born for this.” Lexa paused for a moment. “I know you don’t think we’re much alike, Clarke, but you’re wrong.”

“I think I’m wrong, too.” Clarke replied with a nod, a small smile creeping onto her face. “I understand now. I know why you did what you did. I don’t think the others do, but they’re not like me. They don’t have to carry the weight that I do. I was mad… and I was hurt after you left us at Mount Weather. I _am_ hurt,” she corrected slowly, glancing at Lexa once more. “But as soon as it was between my people and their people… everything changed.” Clarke turned her head again to find Lexa watching her intently. “I couldn’t even feel anger towards you after that.”

Lexa looked down for a moment, in an attempt to hide her vulnerability. “Walking away from you is what hurt the most, Clarke. I almost hesitated. And then I realised that hesitation was not an option, and that only made my decision clearer. I had to do what was best for my people.”

“You don’t have to justify it, Lexa.” Clarke answered softly. “I’m trying to tell you that I understand.”

“I just… I expected you to be furious at me. I expected that you would want to kill me.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh quietly. “I don’t want to kill you, Lexa. Maybe… there is anger there still. But that melts away in moments like this.”

Lexa was silent for a moment, and for the first time, Clarke could see her biting her lower lip. “You make me weak, Clarke, and it’s not good.”

Clarke frowned, trying to decipher the meaning behind her words. “In what way?”

There was a long silence before Lexa replied. “In the same way Costia did. But it’s more dangerous now. You’re not on my side, she was. It was simpler with her.”

Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when she couldn’t find the words. She knew there were feelings there — it was obvious when Lexa had revealed that she cared for her, and it was even more obvious when she had kissed her. That kiss felt like a lifetime ago, so much had changed between the two of them. “Love isn’t weakness,” Clarke finally murmured. “Caring about people makes you passionate. You care about your people, and that’s why you chose to save them over mine. I know you think that it’s just your duty, but I also know that you care. You care so much, you just won’t let people see it.”

“I do care, Clarke.” Lexa spoke quietly, repeating her words from Mount Weather. “I always did, even though it is a luxury I cannot afford to have.”

Clarke can remember the Lexa she first met. The hardened Commander who wouldn’t display the slightest bit of emotion. The Commander who spoke to her while twirling a knife around in her hand like it was a toy. The Commander who took the death of her mentor in her stride and didn’t shed a single tear in Clarke’s presence. With the way Lexa was looking at and talking to her right now, it was as if that version of her had never existed. “Well… I’m flattered that you’re so open with me.”

Lexa gave her another small smile. It wasn’t quite a proper smile, but it was a ‘Lexa’ smile, and that was something. “Another luxury I cannot afford, Clarke.”

Clarke watched her side profile once more as she stared pensively out into the distance. She was something else entirely.

“Are you going back to your people?”

Clarke knew the answer to that question, but she stayed silent for a moment. “No,” she shook her head. “I’m still not nearly ready to face that yet.”

Lexa nodded, and Clarke could tell she was contemplating something, but she didn’t push the subject, instead opting to wait for Lexa to speak. “We are leaving for Polis in two days… The offer is still there, Clarke. I would rather you join me than going out there on your own with no destination. Mount Weather is no longer a threat, but it is still not safe.”

Clarke chuckled lightly. “I don’t think I’d be very welcome at your capital.”

“Clarke, you took down Mount Weather. There is nothing more you could do to prove yourself.”

“But I know your people aren’t big on outsiders. They never trusted me before, I’m not sure why they would now.”

“I’m the Commander, and you would be my guest.” Lexa nodded. That logic seemed to make sense to her. “And, I think… you might be one of the only people who would appreciate it. Our city and our ways… you’re one of the only outsiders to respect what we do and the way we live.”

Clarke hadn’t really considered it the last time Lexa had asked. They were about to go to war, and the future was the last thing on her mind. But now, everything was so much clearer. Maybe this was the way it was meant to be. Maybe leaving with Lexa would help put things into perspective. Being in Lexa’s culture, her way of life, it could help her understand her own actions. “I would love to come with you, Lexa.” She replied softly.

Instead of smiling, she nodded curtly. Just another Lexa trait that Clarke was easily picking up on. “I will make the arrangements then. We’ll need an extra horse, clothes, food—”

“Lexa,” Clarke interrupted softly, an amused smile on her face. She liked seeing this Lexa. _Human_ Lexa, not _Commander_ Lexa.

Lexa snapped out of her little world, and turned her head towards the blonde. “Yes, Clarke?”

“Thank you. For teaching me what you did. Even when I didn’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t have been able to save my people if it weren’t for what you taught me. Even when I was being stubborn, a lot of what you said managed to sink in.”

“You would have figured it out on your own. You’re a good person. You’re always going to do what is right for your people.” Lexa paused. “And you are kind, and generous, and open. Your people see those qualities in you and they respect you for them.”

Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but once again nothing came out. She wasn’t used to seeing this side of Lexa. It was foreign and strange — having the war over seemed to make her infinitely more relaxed. But she knew that wasn’t how Lexa worked. Maybe it was just an act she was putting on for Clarke. Maybe she was still seeking something from her.

When Clarke remained silent, Lexa took it upon herself to end the conversation. She rose to her feet, taking one last look at the sun rising over the mountains. “I will make sure the necessary preparations are made.” She murmured, almost like it was to herself, before leaving Clarke sitting alone on the hill.

\------

Clarke stayed at Lexa’s camp for the two days leading up to their trip to Polis. She wasn’t exactly _warmly_ welcomed, but it was obvious Lexa had spoken to her people about Clarke being some sort of a guest. There were a few exceptions though — a few people had approached Clarke and thanked her for her actions at Mount Weather. They had told her their family members had been freed and returned to them and that they were grateful. Besides being completely humbled, Clarke was completely thrown by the whole situation. She was certainly no hero. At least not in her own eyes.

Clarke used her time at the Grounder camp to observe Lexa for the most part. Watching the Commander in her natural environment — the environment in which she belonged — was fascinating to Clarke. Clarke learned that even when there was no war happening, Lexa was still a very busy and important person.

Lexa was so busy getting ready for their trip, that the two of them hadn’t had a lot of time to talk. Not that Clarke minded. She knew Lexa wasn’t exactly the ‘talking’ type. She didn’t want to make the Commander uncomfortable.

So, the blonde was quite surprised when, the day before they were supposed to leave, Lexa grabbed her by the arm tightly as she was walking in the opposite direction. The Commander dragged her directly into the nearest tent, and Clarke could feel her heart racing. Lexa was already temperamental and unpredictable, so of course she had absolutely no idea what was going to happen.

“I have just discovered,” Lexa began between ragged breaths. “That _my men_ who found you on patrol, had traced your steps back to your camp. They were set on murdering your people. They were going to kill you when they found you, but they knew they would be killed immediately by me.”

Clarke could feel her heart completely drop to her stomach. “W—What? Are you serious? Did they hurt anyone?”

“No,” Lexa answered promptly, her eyes darkening. “I took care of them before they made it.”

“You… You followed them and killed them?”

“Yes.”

“Lexa the treaty is _over_ , I don’t understand…”

“The last thing we need right now is another war.” Lexa explained quickly. “If my men had attacked your camp, imagine what would have happened.”

“Lexa…” Clarke started, shaking her head. “What if it was Bellamy you had found in the woods? Or Octavia? Do you honestly expect me to believe that you would let them live?”

“Octavia and Bellamy are not you. You are their leader, and you are smart. Octavia is wild, Bellamy seems to always have a point to prove. You and I have an understanding. We always have. You could have killed me when Raven gave you that knife, yet you killed Finn instead. You knew he had to die, you knew that was the way it had to go. You understand and respect our traditions, Clarke. That’s more than the rest of your people. When I told you that I trusted you, I truly meant that. It was not just for the treaty’s sake.”

Clarke was thrown by the sudden mention of Finn, but she shook it off. Lexa had a point. Lexa _always_ seemed to have a point. “You really are good at this,” Clarke murmured with a heavy sigh, running a hand through her hair. She was too tired to come up with a suitable argument, even if she could find one.

“That’s why I’m the Commander,” Lexa replied, a playful glint in her eyes that Clarke had never seen before.

Intrigued to the fullest extent, she watched Lexa leave the tent and walk away. This was hardly the Lexa she had come to know at all. She was seeing glimpses of the Lexa that she had been introduced to in her tent when they had been planning the attack on Mount Weather. The one who trusted her, cared about her, _kissed_ her. Clarke had a feeling that she was the only one seeing this Lexa.

And she kind of liked it.

\------

Clarke wasn’t sure what she had been expecting when Lexa had said ‘ _we_ are going to Polis’, but she didn’t think _two_ guards were really necessary. Sure, Lexa was the Commander, but her only enemy was supposedly standing right next to her. The only ‘threat’ to the Grounders now were the Sky People. It all seemed a bit ridiculous. But then again, Clarke wasn’t treated like royalty, she wasn’t really used to it.

Or maybe she was annoyed because she was hoping to spend more time with Lexa alone.

Either way, Clarke finally felt a sense of freedom as she stepped out of the confines of the village. They were on horseback, so the journey to Polis wouldn’t be as tiring for the pair. Or, the four of them, as it were. Clarke threw an irritated look over her shoulder at the men behind her, but decided to turn her attention back to Lexa.

She was back in her original Commander outfit, but what was missing was her war paint. Lexa had told Clarke that she had to look presentable when she reached the capital, but the paint was no longer necessary as they weren’t going to battle. It made sense. She had to always make a show of herself in front of her people so they were reminded of her status. Clarke didn’t expect any different from Lexa, and she was sure that even if she didn’t have to, Lexa would probably wear the war paint and armour just for intimidation tactics. She probably shouldn’t know this much about the Grounder Commander but she wasn’t about to apologise for it.

Lexa didn’t talk much throughout the afternoon, and Clarke didn’t mind too much. She was too busy admiring scenery that she hadn’t seen before. Even though it was a lot of trees and greenery, the idea of Earth still fascinated Clarke. They hadn’t been on the ground for very long and a lot of that time was spent focusing on Mount Weather. Now that the atmosphere was more relaxed, she could concentrate her energy on taking in her surroundings.

Clarke could feel Lexa’s eyes on her, and the Commander turned her heard, murmuring something in Trigedasleng to the guards behind her. The guards had begun moving noticeably slower after that, hanging back so that they couldn’t hear Lexa conversing with Clarke.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “What did you say to them?”

Lexa shrugged easily. “I can tell that you don’t like having them here.”

“It’s not that,” Clarke answered slowly, glancing over her shoulder. “It’s just that I…” She sighed. “It’s you, Lexa. I like seeing _Lexa_ , but when you’re around them, you’re forced to be the Commander. And… it kind of makes me feel like we’re still in danger.”

“We’re not in danger, Clarke, it’s just a formality.” Lexa spoke, before looking over at Clarke. “As for the other part… You’re the only one who sees ‘Lexa’. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Her voice was quiet, but Clarke knew she was being honest. It wasn’t easy for her to be vulnerable, but Clarke appreciated every single moment she got with Lexa.

Clarke smiled as she broke Lexa’s gaze. A lot of the time she found herself being unable to form a response around Lexa. Clarke never expected Lexa to say half the things that she did, and it always left her a bit dumbfounded. She hadn’t known the Commander for too long, but she had observed the way she treated her fellow Grounders, and even more, the other Sky People. Lexa didn’t treat anybody in the same way that she treated Clarke, and that always threw Clarke off-balance.

“We will have to stop somewhere for the night.” Lexa’s voice broke through Clarke’s thoughts. “I’m used to travelling through the night but we do not need to rush.”

Clarke nodded, feeling appreciative of the prospect of rest. She could feel that she was still weak from her injury — which _was_ sustained by Lexa’s people, after all — so she was looking forward to not having to travel all day and night.

“ _There are several places along the way we can stop, Commander._ ” One of the guards relayed to Lexa in her native language, causing her to nod once in acknowledgement.

“It’s been a while since we have made the trip to Polis,” Lexa explained to Clarke. “There are people I know there. People who have known me since I was a child. It makes me nervous to return after what happened at Mount Weather.”

Clarke nodded. “I understand.” She chuckled lightly. “Is that why you brought me along? To be the distraction?”

“No… but now that you mention it, it could help,” Lexa looked at her, another playful glint in her eye that Clarke couldn’t quite work out. “They will be focused on you though. You’re an outsider. I just hope you’re prepared for that.”

“As long as they don’t tie me to a tree and stick a blade into my stomach, I think I’ll be okay.” Clarke replied playfully with a roll of her eyes.

“If anybody has a problem with you being there, they will have me to answer to. They will be hesitant, but if I convince them that I trust you, then everything should be okay.”

Clarke nodded, not really knowing what to say to that. She couldn’t lie to Lexa. She wasn’t going to say outright that she trusted her too, because that just wasn’t the case right now. How could she trust her? It was hard enough to convince herself that going to Polis was a good idea. At the same time though, Clarke couldn’t help it. There was always something drawing her to Lexa, and she couldn’t lie to herself and say that she didn’t want to know her more. That the Commander didn’t intrigue her.

It was a really big mess that she had gotten herself into.

Once they had found a clearing to stay the night in, Lexa’s men had gone to work straight away. They made a campfire and begun patrolling nearby for food, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone by the fire. Clarke stared at the flames, feeling herself get lost in her own thoughts.

“We have tents, you know. If you’d rather not sleep outside.” Lexa offered.

“No,” Clarke shook her head, shifting her body slightly so that she was more comfortable. Her knees were pulled to her chest and she kept her hands warm by the fire. “The weather is fine, I’m sure it’ll be a nice night.”

“Well, if you get cold, just let me know.”

“I’m sure I can find something to keep me warm,” Clarke replied offhandedly, playing with the laces on her boot. Clarke liked sleeping outside and seeing the stars anyway, she had spent too much time locked away in solitary to waste even a single opportunity, even if it was freezing. The blonde stood up abruptly, brushing the dirt off her pants. “Actually, I think I might go for a walk.”

Lexa shifted slightly, turning in the direction Clarke was heading. “Wait! You can’t just go out, it’s not safe. It’s starting to get dark,” she scrambled to her feet, “take one of my men with you.”

“No offence, Lexa, but every single time I’m alone with one of your men, it ends badly.” Clarke let out a heavy sigh before turning back towards Lexa. “I’ll be fine. You need to stop worrying so much. I can take care of myself.”

“I _know_ , I just—”

“I’ll see you soon, Lexa,” Clarke interrupted with a chuckle before taking off in the direction she was originally heading. She just needed a little time to herself. Being in such close proximity to Lexa was a little unnerving, especially since the two of them were alone. Clarke honestly had no idea what she was doing there.

Going to the Grounder capital? Was she insane? Probably.

\------

It was no secret that Lexa liked to stay in control of anything and everything. It was a trait she had picked up throughout her time as Commander. The control was a particularly difficult thing to let go of once the Sky People came along. It was hard to share ideas and go over plans with Clarke, a girl she had just met and wasn’t sure she could trust.

Now she was sitting in front of a fire, alone, contemplating whether she should get up and go after Clarke just to make sure she was safe. Although the threat of Mount Weather was gone, it was still unsafe. There was a wide range of dangerous animals out there — much like the one she and Clarke had run into when she had hurt her arm. And she hated to admit it, but Clarke was right when she said that Lexa’s own men still didn’t trust her, and that could also put her in a lot of danger.

Honestly, Lexa had made up her mind as soon as Clarke had told her she was leaving the camp by herself.

She told her men that she was going out alone, and they protested like they usually did, but Lexa could take care of herself. She hadn’t _not_ come back from a battle yet. She knew she would easily be able to track Clarke. Lexa was particularly skilled in most strategic areas, including being able to follow an enemy. Or, in this case, someone who had stupidly wandered off on their own without adequate protection. Sure, Clarke had her gun, but how long was that going to last once it ran out of ammunition? Lexa refused to believe that _she_ was being the irrational one right now.

\------

It had gotten dark a lot quicker than Clarke had originally thought. Not that she minded; she was more than willing to spend as much time outside as she possibly could, no matter the time of day and no matter the weather. She was glad it was pleasantly warm, and she could freely stroll without worrying about getting shot at. At least, not by a gun, anyway.

The only problem was that she didn’t know this area at all, therefore she had no idea where she was going and how she was going to get back. She tried not to care so much, but being out, alone and in the dark, she suddenly felt very vulnerable. The Mountain Men may have been gone, but Lexa was right in saying they weren’t the only threat in these woods. They weren’t going to die from radiation exposure, but the Ark had certainly sent them down to the most unsafe place imaginable.

It was either here, or die helplessly in space. The thought of the latter made Clarke shudder.

It was then she heard a twig snap and the crunching of leaves, signalling that someone (or some _thing_ ) was near Clarke. She whipped her head around, but it was far too dark to make anything out in the woods. This was a lot more dangerous than she first thought. The sounds were only getting closer, and Clarke continued to look around frantically for the source of it. She was unsuccessful, however, and she knew whatever it was would be getting to her a lot faster than she would see it.

Clarke felt herself yell out, but her mouth was suddenly covered by a calloused hand. Nevertheless, she was almost ashamed to say, she knew those fingers almost immediately. Clarke grabbed the wrist of her ‘attacker’, and yanked their hand away from her face.

“Lexa!” She hissed, completely forgetting that she was the Commander of a large army as she shoved her torso roughly. “You scared me, what the hell are you doing out here?! Did you _follow_ me?”

Lexa looked sheepish only for a moment, before returning to a neutral expression. “I had to make sure you were safe. You can’t just go wandering around out here on your own. The Mountain Men may be gone, but it’s still dangerous.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, instantly feeling irritated by this entire situation. Was she ever going to be able to be alone? It seemed like no matter how hard she tried, there was always _somebody_ following her or somebody _wanting something_ from her. Why couldn’t she just take a break from all of that? “I do just fine on my own, if the events at Mount Weather have anything to go by.” She hissed back at Lexa, not even flinching when the Commander was very obviously taken aback by her words.

“What happened to ‘I understand, Lexa’ or ‘I’m not angry, Lexa’?!” Lexa hissed back, trying her best to stand her ground, even if she didn’t have much to stand on.

“That doesn’t make it _hurt_ any less, Lexa!” Clarke found herself yelling. “You _hurt_ me! It wasn’t just because you backstabbed me and didn’t care about my people. It hurt _me_ personally, too. One minute you’re telling me you care about me and the next you’re—”

A loud and sharp snap of twigs shut Clarke up immediately. She tensed, her eyes widening as she looked at Lexa. There was nobody else out here, and there was no way Lexa’s guards would have left the camp unattended without their Commander’s order. No, something wasn’t right.

“What was that?” Clarke dropped her voice to a whisper, and Lexa shook her head to indicate that she didn’t know. The two of them were surrounded by trees and darkness. They wouldn’t be able to see what it was even if it was day time. There were too many places to hide.

They heard the growl before they saw anything, and Clarke felt Lexa grab her wrist. “Clarke, we have to get out of here. _Now_.”

Lexa seemed to have an idea of what it could be, but Clarke didn’t have a clue. Not that she was about to question Lexa’s judgement on this. Clarke let Lexa pull her in the opposite direction and she tried her best not to stumble and trip over every branch and ledge that was in her way. Lexa knew these woods much better than she did anyway.

“This is pointless, if it caught our scent it’ll be following us.”

“And what is _it_ exactly?” Clarke was almost afraid to ask.

“They’re like bears, but not like the ones that roamed this earth before. We’ve had problems with them in the past, but they are much too fast to outrun.” As soon as those words left Lexa’s mouth, another roar could be hurt, and it was getting closer and closer to them.

Lexa reacted quickly, tugging on Clarke’s wrist and pulling her around one of the large trees near them. Clarke’s body collided with Lexa’s, and Lexa’s hand caught her by the waist. It almost seemed as if the Commander was holding her breath, listening out as she waited for any other sounds. It was then that Clarke realised her close proximity to Lexa. She could feel the taller girl’s heart pounding erratically in her chest, and her skin felt like it was on fire. There was a very good chance they could die in this situation, and all Clarke could think about was the way Lexa’s body felt? She was in over her head.

Lexa, however, seemed completely unfazed by the contact. “It’s getting closer. We won’t be able to outrun it.” She quickly stepped away, reaching behind her to pull out her sword from its sheath on her back.

Clarke reached out, grabbing Lexa’s arm. “You’re not gonna _fight it_ , are you? Lexa, you’re going to get hurt.”

“We don’t have an option. If we try to outrun it, we both die.”

Clarke knew that once Lexa was in this mindset, there was no way of getting her out of it. Clarke held her breath as the Commander rounded the tree and appeared directly in the line of sight of the bear. Although, it was bigger than any bear Clarke had ever seen in pictures. Much bigger than a slim Lexa with her even slimmer sword.

But Lexa didn’t seem afraid at all. She took steps towards it, trying to find an opening. The quicker she killed it, the better. Clarke didn’t have a lot of bullets for her gun, but she decided now was as good a time as any to use them. She pulled out the weapon and aimed straight at the creature. If she shot it before it took a swipe at Lexa, then that would be the best-case scenario.

Instead, the first shot immediately made the creature turn its attention away from Lexa and straight towards Clarke. All Clarke could see in that moment was Lexa’s panicked expression before she completely switched on her warrior mode. She swung her sword hard, making sure it sliced the side of the creature open, turning the bear’s attention to her once more. It was like a game of tug-of-war between the two — both were trying to divert its attention away from the other.

Unfortunately, it was Lexa who won this game, and the creature was much too quick for her. It turned, one claw raised high in the air, and swiped at Lexa, just like she had done at it. Lexa fell backwards, and Clarke’s instincts immediately took over. She emptied the entire clip of the gun in rapid succession, aiming straight for the bear’s head. Once she couldn’t fire anymore, the beast had already begun staggering, but it didn’t look like it was going down just yet.

Using the sudden slowness to her advantage, Clarke rushed over to Lexa who was curled up on the ground, clutching at her side. “Lexa, get up. We have to get out of here right now.”

Lexa tried her best to get up, removing her hands from her stomach to reveal them coated in blood. It was a lot worse than Clarke had originally thought.

“Lexa,” Clarke gasped, feeling herself begin to panic. “Okay, okay, we have to get you back to your village.”

“No… Clarke, I have to get to the capital. We can’t waste any more time. I brought things with me, we just have to get back to camp.”

Lexa tried using Clarke as a crutch, but that was more difficult than anticipated. “Lexa, you can barely stand. Maybe I can carry you…”

“Clarke, you’ll break your back doing that.” Lexa laughed, surprising Clarke slightly. “This is my own fault, I’ll deal with the consequences.” As soon as she said that, she hissed in pain, clutching at her side. “Come on,” she spoke, glancing over at the bear that was still writhing in pain near them.

Being close to it wasn’t easing Clarke’s nerves at all, so she agreed with Lexa’s idea. She wrapped an arm around Lexa’s waist, and tried her best to help her along. Lexa’s free arm was over Clarke’s shoulders while her other was occupied at her stomach.

“It looks deep, Lexa…”

“We’ll just dress the wound when we get back to camp. That’ll hold until we get to Polis.”

“And if it gets infected?” ( _When_ it gets infected.)

“You have medical training. We’ll think of something.”

Clarke did have to give Lexa credit, she was taking this like it was just a scratch. It made Clarke wonder what other major injuries the Commander had received throughout her short life. Though, at the same time, Clarke didn’t really want to think about Lexa getting hurt.

It took them twice as long as it normally would have, but the two finally made it back to their camp. Lexa’s two guards rushed over to them immediately, giving Clarke an icy glare. She knew this was her fault. First, she had walked away when Lexa had warned her not to, and then she had distracted the bear by using her gun. If Lexa hadn’t come after her, she would’ve died.

How is it that Lexa always knew what to do?

Clarke went straight to work, digging through the bags Lexa had brought in order to find some bandages and other supplies. The other two Grounders had already laid their Commander up against a tree and were trying to find water for her. Once Clarke had found what she needed, she hurried over to Lexa and knelt down beside her.

“How are you doing?” Clarke asked softly, biting her lip as she examined the wound. Lexa only nodded, and Clarke could tell she was in a lot of pain. “I’ll try to clean it as best I can, but I need better access to it.”

Lexa nodded again, wasting no time in unclasping the buckles on the top half of her armour. Clarke wasn’t too sure how Lexa’s outfits even worked but she was surprised to see that Lexa could lift the top half, giving Clarke access to the wound.

She tried her best to ignore the smooth skin of Lexa’s abdomen while she was looking at the wound, but she failed almost instantly. Clarke could see tattoos peeking out from underneath her clothing and she swallowed heavily. She did _not_ need to be thinking about what Lexa looked like, no matter how curious she was.

“You’ll need proper medicine when we get to Polis, I can’t clean it properly.”

Lexa only nodded, watching Clarke’s every move in silence. She only winced and hissed a few times when Clarke’s fingers were near the tender area. The cut looked deep, but it was manageable. She wasn’t going to die from it.

“It could’ve been a lot worse. You’re lucky.” Clarke commented before letting out a heavy sigh. “You were right, you know. I shouldn’t have left camp when you told me not to. I think I just… I really wanted to be alone. That was the whole point of me leaving Camp Jaha.”

“I understand,” Lexa nodded. “But you still should’ve listened to me.”

“Well I know that _now_.” Clarke rolled her eyes as she continued to wrap Lexa’s wound with the bandage she had found. Once she had finished, she smoothed her hand over it, causing Lexa to tense up once more. “I cleaned it out as best I could, so it should be fine until we get there.”

Clarke lifted her head and Lexa’s eyes met hers. “Thank you, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled as she was instantly taken back to the day Lexa was hurt while they were being chased by the giant gorilla. She remembered Lexa wasn’t even close to saying ‘thank you’ to her that day. They’d come a long way in such a short amount of time. “You’re welcome, Lexa.”

\------

Clarke knew that Lexa didn’t need watching, and she also knew that Lexa would probably reprimand her for it if she knew. But Clarke couldn’t help it. The Commander dozed off by the fire a little while after Clarke had finished dealing with her wound. She seemed completely exhausted, and the peaceful look on her face was something that Clarke wouldn’t forget for a long time.

She, on the other hand, didn’t feel tired in the slightest. She was still wide awake and buzzing from their encounter with the bear (and ultimately surprised that they were both still alive). Instead she chose to watch Lexa. Her head was telling her that she was keeping an eye on her because she was injured, but her heart was telling her an entirely different story.

(Speaking of her heart, it couldn’t help but clench in her chest every time Lexa let out an unintelligible mumble in her sleep. Her eyebrows would furrow, creating lines on her forehead that Clarke just wanted to smooth over with her thumb.)

Clarke only passed out herself just when the sun was beginning to rise. She knew it was pointless, because she was sure Lexa would want to leave at first light, but she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. She wasn’t even sure how Lexa was going to travel with her injury, but they would have to figure something out.

Once she did wake, however, Lexa and her two guards were still preparing for the rest of their journey, and Clarke was surprised to find that Lexa hadn’t woken her at all. Once one of her guards had noticed that Clarke was awake, he made his way over to her. Clarke knew immediately that it had to be about Lexa, otherwise her guards wouldn’t even give her a second glance.

“We are not sure how well she will travel with her injury. I can tell she’s in a lot of pain but she’s not saying anything. She can barely stand.”

Clarke almost huffed. It was so typical of Lexa to _not_ say when she was in substantial pain. “I’ll talk to her.” She nodded at the guard before getting up and wandering over to Lexa on the other side of their camp. “How are you feeling?” Clarke asked once Lexa had turned her head towards her.

“Fine. We should get going now if we want to get there before dark.” Lexa spoke, continuing to shove things into a bag.

Lexa was clearly avoiding the topic, and Clarke could tell right away. “Lexa, you’re not going to be able to travel. That wound is too deep, you need to rest.”

“I can’t rest right now, Clarke. We can’t just sit out here and wait for me to get better.” Lexa snapped, immediately gritting her teeth as soon as the words left her mouth.

Clarke understood. She was frustrated that she was hurt, and didn’t want to show any weakness in front of her fellow Grounders or Clarke. It was that stubborn attitude that was going to cause Lexa a lot of trouble one day. “You can’t even sit upright, Lexa. You’re not going to be able to travel on that horse.”

“Then what do you propose I do, Clarke? We don’t have any other option.”

“Well… you could always just ride with me.”

“What?”

“You could ride with me,” Clarke spoke slowly, shrugging her shoulders. “That way you can just lean on me and you won’t have to worry about keeping yourself upright.”

Lexa was looking at her as if she was the bringer of death. “That’s a ridiculous idea, Clarke. Do you know what I’d look like being led into Polis by _you_? My people are already wary of you, and it’s going to be hard enough getting them to trust you.”

“Can you stop thinking about what you’d _look like_ just for one minute?” Clarke asked with a sigh. “I’m trying to help you.”

“You didn’t _help me_ too much when you got me into this mess, did you?” Lexa shot back.

Both of Clarke’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow. Okay then.” She mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief. “Have it your way then, Lexa.” She turned quickly and headed back to where she was packing up her own things. If Lexa was going to be stubborn and moody, then Clarke didn’t want to have anything to do with her.

“Clarke,” Lexa’s voice rang out through the clearing, and Clarke closed her eyes, clenching her jaw. She didn’t want to have another argument right now. “Just… wait.”

Clarke turned around with a raised eyebrow. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa apologised, but she wasn’t looking directly at Clarke. “I guess… That probably is our only option if we want to get there on time.”

“I’ll take that, I guess.” Clarke mumbled under her breath, rolling her eyes again. She didn’t particularly want to be sharing a horse with someone who couldn’t even apologise to her properly. But, then again, she knew that was just Lexa’s way. “Well, come on. I thought you were in a hurry?”

Once everything was organised and Clarke was settled on her horse, Lexa’s guards helped her up so she could sit behind the blonde. Clarke could tell the Commander was wary of this position — the _vulnerable_ position. But secretly, she quite liked seeing Lexa _not_ in control for once. It was nice to see her relinquish control and give her trust to Clarke. Clarke liked the idea of having this sort of power over Lexa.

“Hold on to me,” Clarke murmured. “I don’t want you falling off.”

Lexa sighed, her arms cautiously wrapping around Clarke’s middle. The Commander had to admit that it was a lot better. She wasn’t sitting completely upright, her body was supported by Clarke’s, so she could lean into Clarke in be in a great deal less pain.

However, Clarke didn’t realise just how distracted she would be with Lexa’s front pressed against her back. She wasn’t sure she should be this close to her for such an extended period of time. She only had to focus on following Lexa’s instructions and directions, and hopefully her mind wouldn’t wander too much.

“Are you comfortable?” Clarke asked the Commander, taking a quick peek over her shoulder to see what she was doing.

Lexa had her cheek pressed against the back of Clarke’s shoulder and was staring out to the side. “I’m okay.”

“You’re awfully quiet,” Clarke chuckled, because she knew Lexa usually had some opinion or other that she wanted to share.

“I’m just thinking.”

Now Clarke was definitely listening. “What about?”

“Mount Weather.”

“Oh,” Clarke replied flatly, keeping her gaze straight ahead as the horse continued walking. “Why would you be thinking about that?”

“Because of what you said to me last night. About how much it hurt you personally that I left.” Lexa paused. “I’m not used to hurting people, Clarke. At least, not that I know of. I’m not familiar with this feeling.”

Clarke sighed heavily. “I don’t want you to feel guilty, Lexa. You _shouldn’t_ feel guilty. You did the right thing for your people; the thing you said you were going to do all along. I was just… naïve to think that I could trust you.”

Lexa bit her lip to stop the response threatening to spill out of her mouth. The idea that Clarke didn’t trust her was almost overwhelming. She hated it. Yet, Clarke continued before Lexa could say anything.

“But then… I just… I tell myself that I don’t trust you, and then you do something like what you did last night. You come looking for me because you’re worried about my safety. And then you save me. What am I supposed to think?” Clarke asked desperately, even though she couldn’t properly look at Lexa. “ _How_ do I trust you, Lexa? Please, tell me.”

“I don’t know, Clarke.” Lexa replied in an almost-dejected tone. “But how do I earn your trust if you don’t let me?”

“I want to let you, Lexa. I do.” Clarke spoke quietly, grateful that she couldn’t fall into the trap that Lexa’s green eyes provided. Instead, she placed her hand over where Lexa’s hands met at the front of her torso. She gave her hand a soft squeeze, not daring to move it from its place.

Lexa didn’t verbally acknowledge her movement, only continuing the conversation as if nothing was happening. “Things are different now, Clarke. There’s no war, there’s no alliance. It can just be you and me without any complications. If that’s what you want.”

Clarke couldn’t help but scoff, despite the fact that Lexa’s words were making her heart thump unevenly in her chest. “There are _always_ complications. It doesn’t have to be a war.”

“Maybe,” Lexa allowed. “But none of those complications will come from me. Not anymore.”

Clarke didn’t have a response to that, so she only stayed silent, continuing on the road forward. This was exactly why she needed time to herself — to work out these issues and these _feelings_. But, naturally, she was thrust back into Lexa’s world without any say in the matter, and for some ridiculous reason, she had agreed to travel to Polis. She wanted to be alone, but at the same time, she didn’t want to let go of Lexa just yet.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, it has been four months. Do not murder me.

Clarke kept her hand in that very same position until they reached the outer walls of Polis. Clarke wasn’t expecting to have gotten there so soon, but Lexa had stayed relatively quiet for most of the way, only pointing out directions every now and then.

Clarke’s hand was warm against Lexa’s, and it matched the warmth she felt whenever green eyes met blue, and she was lost to her.

It wasn’t until they had arrived at the walls that Clarke was immediately snapped out of those thoughts. Lexa’s men were helping her off the back of Clarke’s horse before she even realised what was happening. She suddenly felt nervous. This was the Grounder capital. After all the trouble she’d had with the Grounders in the past, she had a feeling that they wouldn’t be the most receptive of hosts.

Clarke dismounted the horse, and noticed right away that Lexa was unsteady on her feet. She placed a hand on the Commander’s back, making sure she could stand upright. She desperately wanted to check Lexa’s injury to see if it was infected, but she knew that as soon as she walked through those gates, her healers would whisk her away. They were probably a lot more experienced and knowledgeable than her anyway.

She stood beside Lexa, waiting for the guards to open the front gate. It was almost as if Lexa could sense her nerves, as the brunette turned towards her, giving her the soft, barely-there smile she always did. Despite it not being a proper smile, Clarke felt a warmth spread throughout her stomach.

“I’m a little worried,” Clarke admitted softly, and Lexa looked at her right away.

“You have no reason to be,” Lexa replied softly, and there was something in her voice that Clarke had never heard before. “Polis is filled with civilians; it is not as intimidating as our camps that only house soldiers. There are men, women and children here who live everyday lives. Healers, merchants, artists, real people. Your opinion is important to me… I don’t want you running away just yet.”

Clarke nodded slowly. If it was important to Lexa, then Clarke would make sure to uphold her end of the deal. She said she would go to Polis with Lexa, and now here she was. She couldn’t back out now.

As soon as Clarke walked through the gates, it was like entering an entirely different world. People noticed Lexa almost immediately and began greeting her, and the lightness in Lexa’s step was unlike anything Clarke had ever seen before. It was like her entire demeanour had changed in a matter of seconds, and Clarke realised that this was what Lexa looked like coming home.

Suddenly, all the worries left Clarke’s head. Lexa was home, and she was _happy_.

The first thing she noticed about Polis was that there were actual buildings here. Since it was more or less a ‘city’ and not just a camp, houses made of stone, wood and other materials of various shapes and sizes stood in rows either side of her. There were footpaths made of stone, and merchants lined the streets. It was completely fascinating, this was the first time Clarke had ever seen an actual _house_. There was a lot going on around them, and Clarke could hardly keep up with the amount of people who came to greet their ‘ _heda’_.

Clarke only stood back, watching on with awe as Lexa completely transformed in front of her. It wasn’t until someone who looked as though they were quite important stepped forward, and Lexa became rigid and polite once more.

Clarke didn’t want to be the one to have to do it, but she was still worried about Lexa’s injury. “She’s hurt,” she spoke up, directing her words at the man. “I’m worried that it might be infected.”

At first, Clarke wasn’t sure if the man had even understood her English, but he took one look at Lexa and nodded. Suffice to say, the Commander was not impressed that Clarke decided to spill it as soon as she had entered the gates, but it was for her own good. He muttered something to Lexa in Trigedasleng and she gave him a reluctant nod. He then turned to Clarke, giving her a sceptical look. He asked Lexa a question, to which she answered, before he turned back towards Clarke. “You may follow.”

Clarke gave him a respectful nod, surprised by the cordial greeting. Clearly, Lexa had explained who she was and the man had known. Maybe what happened at the Mountain really had spread by now. She felt a little out of place, but as long as she wasn’t being attacked, then she would live with it.

Lexa and the man began walking, and Clarke quickly followed them. She could tell by the way Lexa was walking that she was still in quite a bit of pain, but she didn’t say anything this time. She was certain that Lexa didn’t want to be humiliated even further in front of her people.

The people around them were watching them pass through. Some were looking at Lexa in awe, others were looking at Clarke in confusion. Clarke tried her best ignore them, but she couldn’t help but notice the ones who were looking at Lexa. “They adore you,” Clarke murmured, looking at their eyes as she passed by.

“I have a good relationship with my people,” Lexa replied easily.

“That’s an understatement. They look at you like you’re their hero.”

“You mean the way your people look at you?” Lexa questioned, turning her head towards Clarke again.

A small smile flickered onto Clarke’s face. “No… not quite like that.”

Lexa opened her mouth to protest, but then decided against it. She knew Clarke couldn’t see how important she was right now, especially after the events at Mount Weather, but Lexa was going to make it her mission to show her.

Of course, Clarke had no idea where the Grounders were taking her, so she continued to follow along warily, trying her best to take in as much of her surroundings as possible. Although it was more than likely she would be under Lexa’s protection, she had no idea what the Grounders were going to do with her. She knew very well that they weren’t fond of outsiders. Being locked up was always a present fear in the back of her mind.

The group made a few turns before they reached a rather large building, which Clarke guessed to be their form of medical facility. She followed them inside, and it was set out much like their Grounder camps were, except for the fact that it was in an actual wooden building instead of a tent.

The Grounders rushed Lexa over to a bed in a room at the very back that was separate to the rest of the building. A room specifically designed for important people like Lexa. Clarke stood back, wanting to be able to see Lexa’s injury but not wanting to overstep boundaries.

Before she could even make up her mind about what to do, though, Lexa’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Clarke, come over here.” Her voice was soft, but it was in her ‘Commander’ tone.

Lexa held her hand out to Clarke, and the blonde took it in hers tentatively. She was sure Lexa wouldn’t want to show any vulnerabilities in front of her fellow Grounders, but maybe she wasn’t like that in Polis. Lexa only emphasised her move by squeezing Clarke’s hand, and Clarke bit her lip, suddenly feeling very exposed.

“You did a great job with this,” Lexa continued. “I apologise for putting you in that position.”

Clarke shook her head. “We’ve been over this. It was my fault to begin with. I just hope it’s not infected.”

Lexa nodded, watching as one of her healers lifted up her shirt to examine the wound. It did look slightly inflamed, so it may have been on the verge of infection. Lexa and the healer conversed for a minute or so in Trigedasleng, but the Commander still kept her grip on Clarke’s hand. Their conversation continued in Lexa’s native language, so Clarke didn’t understand what was going on until Lexa smiled gently at her. “It will be okay. It is only just beginning infect. They can treat it.”

Clarke let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She didn’t realise she was so worried about Lexa.

“You were afraid,” Lexa observed, chuckling lightly. She had received much worse injuries than this in the past.

“You can’t blame me,” Clarke defended. “If you saw what happened from my point of view, you’d be worried too.”

“The difference between you and me is that I am worried _all_ the time.” Lexa replied, chuckling quietly.

“About me?” Clarke questioned.

Lexa gave her a half-shrug, but she didn’t need to use words for Clarke to know what she meant.

\------

It didn’t take long until Lexa was allowed to be up and moving about. (Though, Clarke knew she probably _shouldn’t_ have been out of bed with her injury, but she could tell Lexa had used her power to overrule what the healers had told her.) She was still dressed in her bloodstained clothes, and she had told Clarke that she was heading back to her house to change. The idea of Lexa owning her own _house_ took Clarke by surprise. She had just assumed she wasn’t here often enough to actually be _settled_ somewhere. The idea of Lexa ‘settling’ was almost horrifying to Clarke, just because it was so foreign and unusual.

Wandering into Lexa’s house though, Clarke realised it was much like the other houses packed into Polis. It was on the hill, though, which Clarke knew was where all the important people seemed to live. Although it was noticeably bigger, the simplicity of it almost astonished Clarke. For some reason, she had built up her own idea of what Lexa’s life was like in her head, but it didn’t seem to be that way at all. While she was here, Lexa was just a girl. A very important girl, nevertheless, but she seemed so much more otherworldly out there than she did in the capital.

“I have some clean clothes that might fit you.” Lexa spoke, noting Clarke’s appearance being similar to her own.

Clarke didn’t say anything at first, choosing to spend her time investigating the house that she was currently in. The house that was _Lexa’s_. “You’re different here. You seem… lighter.” Clarke observed, her feet tapping slowly against the wooden floor beneath her.

“There is no war,” Lexa started. “Thanks to you. There’s nothing to worry about. We’re safe here. Although my job as Commander still exists here, a lot of the time I can just be…”

“…Lexa,” Clarke finished, nodding slowly.

Lexa gave her another soft smile before moving to enter what seemed to be her ‘bedroom’. Clarke stayed out in the main room, wandering around and admiring the space. She tried to picture Lexa actually _living_ here; having a normal life. Ever since the Commander title was hers, Mount Weather had been a threat. Clarke knew it must have been an incredible weight lifting off her shoulders when Mount Weather had finally been defeated. Despite Clarke doing what she did to save her people, she knew she had saved Lexa’s as well.

“I do _feel_ lighter,” Lexa commented when she walked out of the room. She was wearing something similar to what she had been before, but it was less battle-ready. Clarke assumed she had to look semi-presentable when she talked to her superiors. “That war has been going on for a very long time.”

“And the war ended while you were Commander,” Clarke smiled warmly. “That must be a good feeling.”

Lexa only shrugged. “I did not take down Mount Weather, Clarke. _You_ did.”

“Yes, but if it wasn’t for your plan, and your guidance, none of it would’ve worked.” Clarke insisted, taking a step towards her. “Lexa, you were the key in making this whole thing work. Your people are now safe because of you. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“I can always do better,” Lexa replied with a curt nod, which only caused Clarke to frown.

“Hey,” Clarke spoke quickly, grabbing onto Lexa’s arm. “You really are different here, aren’t you? Why does it seem like you have something to prove? You _know_ you’re a great Commander, I’ve seen you in action.”

“The leaders of the clans are difficult people to please.” Lexa sighed. “They were not pleased with the idea of me being Commander in the first place. They only went along with it because they had to. The previous Commander’s spirit had chosen me, they had no choice.”

“Why weren’t they happy?”

Lexa’s gaze fell to the floor. “I did some… things after,” she paused for a moment, letting out a quiet breath. “…After Costia was killed. I acted irrationally and I was reckless. I didn’t care what I did as long as it took the pain away.” She paused, and Clarke let out a breath herself. “I almost abandoned my Commander duties completely, but Anya was the stability that I needed.”

“I can tell you two were really close,” Clarke spoke softly. This was the third time Lexa had spoken with her about Costia, and she knew it was important to Lexa. It was the _most_ important thing to Lexa, and it warmed Clarke’s heart every single time.

“After that, the clan leaders were always wary of me. They were worried that I would not be able to perform my duties properly at Mount Weather. They were worried that I would be the reason for our downfall.”

Clarke immediately reached out for Lexa’s hand. “But you _weren’t_. You _did it_ , Lexa. _We_ did it.” She reminded her. “And now you can hold your head up high. You can walk through Polis proudly because you saved everyone.”

“That’s… part of the reason why I did what I did at Mount Weather. Why I betrayed you. I had a point to prove and nothing was going to stand in my way. It’s just… every time I try to be a good person, there is somebody else that I am hurting in the process. Like you.”

Clarke looked directly at Lexa, and her next words only came out in a husky whisper, “You redeem yourself a little more every single day, Lexa. I know you feel guilty for even feeling guilty,” Clarke chuckled lightly at the complicated nature of the situation, “but I’ve told you before — you don’t need to explain yourself to me. Only if you want to.”

Lexa reached over with her free hand, placing it over Clarke’s that was currently holding her other. Clarke didn’t know exactly where Lexa was going with her actions, as the Commander’s green eyes bore directly into her own. “You are special, Clarke of the Sky People.”

Clarke could hardly contain her smile.

\------

Lexa had decided that Clarke should be with her whilst she went to talk to the clan leaders. Clarke had gathered that the leaders were somewhat like the council on the Ark. Leaders of each clan in the Coalition formed by Lexa. Although Lexa commanded the armies, someone had to oversee each clan separately. Clarke wondered what it was like with the other eleven Grounder clans that existed. She obviously knew that the Ice Nation had a queen, but that didn’t seem to be the case with all the clans. Decisions weren’t made by just one person, and Clarke assumed that’s the reason why they seemingly functioned so well.

Lexa explained that the leaders gathered at the very top of the hill, so that way they could survey the entirety of Polis. It also acted as a tier system — the further your house was up on the hill, the more prominent you were in the community. Which, Clarke guessed, was the reason why Lexa’s house was very close to the top. She was the driving force behind their army, after all. She was one of the reasons Polis was now safe from harm. If Mount Weather knew the location of Polis, it would only have been a matter of time before they sent another missile in their direction.

The thought of someone destroying the Grounder capital like that was almost unthinkable to Clarke.

The thought of someone _destroying Lexa’s home_ was unthinkable to Clarke.

Although she was with Lexa, Clarke felt rather uncomfortable approaching the building where the leaders had their meetings. Lexa seemed relatively at ease; probably having done this a hundred times before. Despite not officially being made a leader, since she had come down to earth, Clarke hadn’t had to report or answer to anyone. _She_ was usually the one making the plans and calling the shots.

Not to mention, she was an outsider. That never seemed to go down well with these Grounders. No matter what her achievements were.

But, once again she found herself surprised beyond belief when the leaders had nothing but positive things to say about both her and Lexa. Something that really caught her attention was _‘You two make a great team’_ which came from one of the older-looking members of the group. It caught Clarke completely off-guard, so she wasn’t sure what to say throughout most of the briefing.

Which was okay, really, because Lexa was able to speak for her in the moments where her words fell short. Somehow, the Commander just knew her well enough.

When they left the building, Clarke leaned forward, placing her hands on her thighs and letting out a rather large sigh. “I have no idea what just happened.”

“They love you,” Lexa spoke, and Clarke could even _hear_ her smiling just by her tone of voice. Her voice then dropped an octave, suddenly sounding much more vulnerable to Clarke. “I think… I think I may have just redeemed myself in their eyes.”

At those words, Clarke stood up straight and turned towards Lexa with a soft smile. “I think so, too.”

Lexa held her gaze for a long moment, and Clarke didn’t want to be the one to break it. “You told me they would.”

“I did.”

“You were right,” Lexa spoke softly.

Clarke couldn’t help but smirk at her admission. To Lexa, nobody was ever right except for Lexa.

“One of the clan leaders was missing though.”

“The Ice Nation’s Queen,” Clarke guessed.

Lexa nodded. “How did you know?”

“Because I know how on edge you would’ve been if you’d seen her.”

Lexa let out a heavy sigh. “It's been a while since I’ve seen Nia. And every time I _do_ see her, I have to pretend that everything is fine. It’s hard to be civil when you’re standing in front of the person who killed the person you loved. She should not be allowed to live after what she did.”

Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s arm. She wasn’t sure she had any comforting words to say in this moment; she was just glad that the Ice Queen hadn’t shown up, for whatever reason.

Before Clarke had a chance to say anything else, Lexa got a sudden glimmer in her eye that made the blonde slightly nervous. “You should accompany me tonight. Outsiders usually aren’t allowed in any Grounder ceremonies, but I think they will make an exception for you.”

“Ceremonies?” Clarke questioned.

“Yes,” Lexa nodded. “Once a war has ended, it is tradition that a celebration is to be had. I expect they will be setting it up as we speak.”

“And you want me to go with you?” Clarke asked cautiously.

“Only if you want to.”

Clarke wasn’t sure which part of Lexa’s offer was making her stomach erupt with a million butterflies, but she wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to see something that no outsider has ever seen. “I would love to.”

“Great,” Lexa replied, and Clarke could’ve _sworn_ her smile was a triumphant one.

\------

Clarke wasn’t sure how she was supposed to get ready for an event like this. On the Ark, any formal events usually had a dress code, and you were required to act a specific way. It made Clarke realise that she had absolutely no idea about the ways and customs of Lexa’s culture. What was she supposed to wear to something like this? She wasn’t a part of their culture, she couldn’t just show up in what the Grounders typically wore.

Luckily for Clarke, Lexa usually had every single base covered. There were clean clothes laid out for Clarke back in Lexa’s ‘house’. (She still found it incredibly weird to say that Lexa lived in an actual _house_.) It was a just a simple pair of pants and a shirt. It was obvious Lexa knew what she was doing. It was like she had been expecting to take Clarke to this ceremony all along.

It wouldn’t surprise her — Clarke always seemed to be a part of Lexa’s plans.

It took her a long time to get her hair just the way she liked it. It was difficult, but then it then dawned on her that she usually didn’t worry about her hair in the slightest. Her subconscious was telling her that it was because of Lexa, but the rational part of her didn’t want to believe it for a second.

Finn had made her nervous in the beginning, sure, but she never cared about what her _hair_ looked like when she was with him. She hadn’t cared at all about her appearance since she had landed on the ground.

She wasn’t sure why everything had to come back to Lexa and the way Lexa made her feel, but it was certainly beginning to worry Clarke. She didn’t _want_ to feel like this. She couldn’t imagine falling for another person in this world, not when she had already lost Finn. It was just so easy to lose people. And _the Commander_ of all people? She knew that the Commander would have a lower life expectancy than most.

Not that she wanted to think about Lexa dying, because she really didn’t.

(Deciding not to fuss, she left her hair as it was.)

Lexa found her a short while before they were supposed to leave. She had decided to hole herself up in Lexa’s place, despite Lexa needing to run errands of her own now that she was back in Polis. Clarke thought it best if she didn’t wander around too much; she didn’t want to overstay her welcome.

Clarke was almost shocked once she saw Lexa. It was almost a smack in the face to see Lexa completely dressed up in her Commander gear again. The last time she had seen her like this was when everything had happened at Mount Weather. The familiar orange sash decorated her armour, and the black war paint spread across her eyes. Her hair was in tight, neat braids and her expression was impassive, like she was playing a role. The harsh but fair Commander.

Clarke absentmindedly wondered what all of the little details represented. Whenever it came to Lexa, there were usually more questions than answers.

“Are you ready to go?” Lexa asked, breaking Clarke out of her thoughts. The taller girl looked over Clarke for a moment, before giving her a slight nod as if to tell her she looked presentable enough.

Clarke nodded, giving Lexa a quick smile. “I’m a little nervous,” she admitted. “Are you sure I’m allowed to come to this? I don’t want to overstep more than I have already.”

“You are my _guest_ , Clarke. How many times do I have to say that?” Lexa paused, as if thinking about whether she should say her next statement. “Plus, you _saved me_ by bringing me here,” she drawled, clearly joking. “I am sure the general population are grateful for that.” She rolled her eyes.

“ _You_ don’t seem terribly pleased by that.”

“Like I said, I do not enjoy having to have to rely on anyone. _Even_ you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, but yet again, it was in more of an amused fashion. She of all people knew that a lot of the time, Lexa’s tough act was just that. An _act_. Though, a lot of other people didn’t see it that way. Actually, Lexa had implied earlier that Clarke was the only one who really got to see through that act.

Even if Clarke attempted to explain to someone else the way Lexa acted when nobody else was around, she was sure nobody would believe her. “Just remember the fact that if you _didn’t_ rely on me, you’d be dead right now. Actually,” she paused, placing a finger against her chin, “you’d be dead long before this, if I recall. I’m sure that giant gorilla was very upset to not have you as a meal.”

Clarke’s words flustered Lexa, and she frowned slightly. She certainly didn’t like being proven wrong. On the other hand, her reply was soft. “I know.”

Despite there only being two words to her reply, Clarke got a lot more out of it than that. Her eyes lifted to meet Lexa’s, and for a moment, she completely forgot what she was doing there in the first place.

Lexa held her gaze for a fleeting moment, before her lips twitched upwards. “We should go.” Her eyes flickered down to Clarke’s outfit. “I think I made the right decision with that. You look good.”

Clarke’s smile was involuntary. “I would think your compliments would be better than _that_ , Commander.”

“They are,” Lexa replied simply, and didn’t say another word on the matter as she headed towards the door.

\------

Clarke paused once they reached the edge of the crowd. At this point, Lexa had a tight grip on her arm, mostly because she knew Clarke was nervous. Clarke didn’t even have to say anything, as soon as the Grounders saw Lexa, they parted like the Red Sea for her. Lexa let go of the blonde’s arm, indicating with a tilt of her head for Clarke to follow her. Clarke was to stand off to the side, not directly a part of the ceremony, but not stuck in the crowd either.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Clarke asked quietly. “Your injury must be causing you pain.”

If it _was_ causing her any pain, Lexa did not show it on her face. “I’ll be fine. I will not abandon my duties.”

“You mean, you don’t want to be seen as weak in front of your people,” Clarke corrected, raising an eyebrow at her.

Lexa rolled her eyes, and Clarke didn’t need to have her say that she was right, because she knew she was.

Clarke could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on her, and sure, it had happened multiple times before with the Grounders and Lexa, but this time it was different. It wasn’t soldiers watching her, it was normal people living a normal life. People who looked up to their Commander. _Children_ who were more than likely training to become the type of warrior Lexa was right now. It was hard to believe that her people were so hell-bent on hurting these people once upon a time.

(Well, that still could be the case. Who knew what her people were up to now that she wasn’t there to keep an eye on them.)

Of course, Clarke didn’t have a clue what this ceremony entailed, and Lexa hadn’t enclosed any sort of details to her. Not that she minded; she could use a pleasant surprise.

Most of the ceremony was in Trigedasleng, naturally, so Clarke was unaware of what they were saying, but it was still breathtaking for her to watch. They never had anything this elaborate on the Ark. Clarke tended to zone out during Ark ceremonies, mostly because she wasn’t a fan of the leaders there being honoured. But, of course, she was a fan of Lexa.

Lexa kept glancing at Clarke throughout, and Clarke could only wonder why. Deep down, a part of her knew, but she didn’t let the thought cross her mind.

The ceremony was straightforward until the end, even if Clarke didn’t understand the various things being spoken to Lexa and other members of the Grounder army. At the very end, a woman brought forward a cloth-covered tray. Clarke wasn’t close enough to see what was in the tray, but Lexa was seated by now, and a woman had appeared at her side. The crowd watched on in awe, and it took Clarke quite a long time to realise what was going on. It wasn’t until a dark liquid was brought out from underneath the cloth that Clarke knew what was going on.

Lexa was about to be tattooed. In front of everyone.

She hadn’t realised this was one of the Grounder traditions. Of course, she knew about Lexa’s tattoos. Not how many or what they were for, but she had made a conscious mental note about them when they had first been brought to her attention. It was fascinating to her. Nobody on the Ark had tattoos unless they were done illegally. The Council had deemed it a waste of resources that had better uses. Obviously the Grounders didn’t have the technology to do it the way the Sky People did, and that was yet another reason why Clarke couldn’t tear her eyes away.

She couldn’t see what exactly Lexa was getting tattooed, but her face was impassive as it was getting done, like it didn’t hurt a single bit. It was on her forearm, just on the inside of her elbow. Clarke wondered if Lexa had chosen that spot specifically. It would be a constant reminder that under _her_ leadership, the Mountain had fallen.

It didn’t take as long as Clarke had expected it to, reinforcing the idea that it was only a small design. It was then that the Grounders surrounding Clarke burst into applause, and goosebumps immediately rose on Clarke’s skin. This city had an entirely different air to it, and Clarke knew that Lexa had been right about it changing the way she thought about the Grounders. The woman beside Lexa wrapped the wound while Clarke waited for Lexa to inevitably meet her gaze once more. Once she did, Lexa flashed her a quick smile, before moving to finish the remainder of the ceremony.

The smile made Clarke’s chest warm, and Clarke knew she shouldn’t have been sinking deeper into whatever _this_ was, but she couldn’t help it.

Once the ceremony had concluded and Lexa was free to go, Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes off of the older brunette — watching the older girl take it all in like it was nothing at all. Sometimes she wished she had a key to Lexa’s mind. There were many moments where she really wished she knew what she was thinking.

(One particular moment — back in Lexa’s tent, right before Bellamy had disabled the acid fog — came to mind immediately.)

The crowd eventually dispersed, some lingered on to watch the Commander some more, but Clarke stayed firmly in her place until Lexa approached her. It was as if she were a celebrity; as if everybody wanted to talk to her. Not that there had been any ‘celebrities’ on the Ark. That kind of thing just didn’t exist anymore.

Seeing Lexa as almost-royalty to her people stirred something inside of Clarke. These people cared about her, and these were the people she saved while betraying Clarke at Mount Weather. If anything, coming to Polis had only helped her to forgive Lexa for what she did.

While she was lost in her own thoughts, she hadn’t noticed Lexa approaching her from the side. It wasn’t until the Commander had placed her hand on Clarke’s shoulder that she snapped out of it.

“Hi,” Clarke smiled slightly, her eyes drifting down to the cloth covering her wound before darting back up to look at Lexa’s face. “How was that?”

“I should be asking you that,” Lexa replied with a small smile of her own.

“Well, that was…” Clarke chuckled, trying to wrap her mind around what she had just witnessed. On the Ark there had just been _them_. Although they had all come from different countries and had different ethnicities, in space they were just one big culture. There was nothing that differentiated them from each other. Being on Earth with the Grounders was like entering an alternate universe. “That was… really beautiful, Lexa. I mean it.”

Lexa smiled widely, almost looking proud. She was silent for a moment as she fiddled with her fingers, as if she was battling with herself in order to decide what she said next. “Obviously I have never brought an outsider to one of my ceremonies before, I was a little worried about what you would think.”

“Lexa, you know I’d never judge you. I’m past the point of judging your people and your ways.” Clarke reassured her with a nod. “But… I am curious. I mean, you’ve never really talked about your tattoos before and what they mean. It was nice to get an insight into that.”

Lexa thought for a moment, before realising there was little harm in telling Clarke about the tradition. “Most tattoos are ceremonial. Typically, we get them to commemorate a battle or war we have been a part of. The more tattoos you have, the more battles you have survived and therefore the more prestige you have. However, some are a little more... illicit,” Lexa revealed, a sly smile gracing her features.

Now that she was one hundred percent curious, Clarke’s lips turned upwards in an amused fashion. “Illicit how?”

Lexa’s face dropped the cheeky smile almost immediately. She chewed on her lower lip for a long moment, and Clarke narrowed her eyes, wondering why this answer seemed to be causing her turmoil. “…Costia and I got matching tattoos one day. We did them ourselves. They were messy, of course, we were just kids. Anya discovered mine, she was so angry,” she chuckled lightly, shaking her head at the memory. “I was not the best student for Anya in the beginning. I was always breaking the rules set in place for me. She never gave up on me though, and for that I am appreciative.”

“Not that she really had a choice,” Clarke allowed. “I mean, you _are_ the Commander, whether you liked it or not, that’s something that was out of your control.”

Lexa nodded. “Remember how I told you that the leaders of the other clans weren’t happy about me being named Commander? Well, they had good reason to be sceptical. I was just a child, after all. It took Anya a lot of time to instil any sort of discipline in me.”

Clarke frowned. “You really loved Anya, didn’t you?” She paused. “I’m sorry. The only reason she died was due to my people’s issues.”

“I do not blame you for it,” Lexa shook her head. “War is war, Clarke. Anya was just another unfortunate casualty.” She looked away for a moment, as if lost in her own thoughts. “But, you’re right, I did love Anya. Like an older sister. She disciplined me, chastised me… but she cared for me. I know that.” She turned back towards Clarke. “She did not have to say it for me to know.”

Clarke held her gaze for a little too long. “And you can just pick up on people’s feelings that easily, can you?”

Lexa chuckled. “Usually.”

“Hm,” was all Clarke replied with, and she gave the Commander a quick look up and down. “So, how many tattoos do you _actually_ have?”

Lexa shrugged. “Not as many as you may think.”

Clarke could tell she was avoiding giving her a proper answer, so she let the subject drop. “Is the ceremony over?”

“Yes. Other warriors will get theirs later. This was strictly for show,” Lexa laughed quietly, looking down at her arm. “There is a celebration that usually takes place afterwards. I was going to leave, but you are welcome to stay.”

Clarke wasn’t really in the mood for a Grounder party. Especially if Lexa wasn’t going to be there with her. “No, that’s okay. I’ll keep you company, if you’d like.”

Lexa flashed another one of her small smiles. “Of course. I was just going to go back and get changed.” She paused. “I always find occasions like this are the opportune moment to go for walks. Everyone is so distracted with the celebrations that there is nobody around.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Are you suggesting that we do something bad, _Commander_?”

“Well, who would be around to stop us?” Lexa teased, raising an eyebrow. “Come on,” she started, indicating that Clarke should follow her as they slipped away from the noisy crowd of Grounders.

It was strange, being this close to Lexa’s home, especially since Lexa made her feel so comfortable here. She felt it was something Lexa had always been able to do. She could put Clarke at ease in an instant, and Clarke wondered if that was a by-product of her being Commander. Surely, she had to know how to keep people calm under duress, but it always felt different to Clarke.

Clarke had concluded that _everything_ was different with Lexa.

It was much quieter by the time they had arrived back at Lexa’s house. Nearly everyone would have been at the celebrations; those who lived near Lexa were practically required to do so. Lexa entered first, sighing as her posture instantly became more relaxed.

Clarke watched her curiously as she followed the Commander inside. It intrigued the blonde as to how Lexa could just instantly relax behind closed doors. Or, rather, when she was alone with Clarke.

As she watched Lexa, a thought struck her. Sometimes Clarke got so lost in what was going on around her that she forgot to say what was on her mind. “Hey, Lexa?” She asked while the brunette’s back was facing her.

The taller girl turned so that she was facing Clarke. “Yes?”

“I missed you,” Clarke replied without missing a beat. “After Mount Weather. It was… hard not having you around.”

Lexa focused her attention on Clarke, and usually that would make the blonde slightly nervous, but today she was feeling somewhat brave. Lexa’s gaze stayed locked on Clarke as she took a step towards the blonde. “Even after everything I did to you?”

Clarke sighed. “That has nothing to do with the way I feel. Missing someone… you can’t just turn it on and off. As much as I would’ve liked to, I can’t control my emotions. I’m sure _you_ know that more than anyone else.”

Lexa tensed slightly at her words, because she _did_ know. She was an expert at keeping her feelings locked away. Everyone knew that. “I missed you, too, Clarke. At one point I thought… well, it was easy for me to believe that you were dead after Mount Weather.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, her heart almost skipping a beat in panic. “Why’s that?”

“Because you were not at your camp with everyone else who returned from the Mountain.”

“How do you know that?” Clarke asked, but she didn’t give Lexa a chance to answer. “You followed us back?”

“Not exactly. I put together a party to scout out your camp a few days later… to see if everyone was okay. You were not there and I just thought…” Lexa shrugged, directing her gaze away from Clarke. Clarke guessed it was so she couldn’t see her vulnerability in that moment. “Like I said, it was easy for me to jump to conclusions.”

“And then your patrolling scouts found me in the woods,” Clarke finished, completing the story for Lexa. She tried to capture Lexa’s gaze but found she couldn’t, the brunette was too far off in her own world. Instead, Clarke took a few steps closer, until she was directly in front of Lexa. She reached out slowly, placing her hand on Lexa’s arm. “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to worry about me disappearing.”

It was then that Lexa finally met Clarke’s gaze. The blonde knew just how much those words would have meant to Lexa. The older girl chewed on her lower lip for a moment, as if she was battling with herself over what to say next. “Please don’t disappear,” she murmured quietly, and Clarke could have almost flinched in surprise. She had never heard Lexa use a pleading tone before, even if it wasn’t a heavy one. “I don’t think I could handle it. Not with you.”

Clarke couldn’t tear her eyes away from Lexa. It was as if her eyes had magnetic force, locking their gazes together. She was slow with her actions, the hand that was on Lexa’s arm lifting upwards until it was resting on the Commander’s neck. She could feel that her hand was burning, or maybe it was Lexa’s skin? “I promise.”

Lexa was visibly nervous, and Clarke was sure the only other time she had seen her this way was after she had kissed her. “Why are you doing this? Saying all of these things to me?” Lexa knew she didn’t deserve any of it, yet Clarke was giving it to her. Why?

Now it was Clarke’s turn to look vulnerable. “Because your feelings were never just one-sided. I cared about you too, Lexa. I _care_ about you,” she corrected herself. “You’re important to me, too.” She paused for a moment, her eyes flitting between Lexa’s eyes and her lips. It took a moment of hesitation before she gently pressed her lips to the brunette’s. She didn’t want to overthink it this time around; she would enjoy it a lot more if she didn’t.

It was brief, but once Clarke pulled away, it only took Lexa a moment to murmur a quick “wait” before her lips reattached to Clarke’s once more. The softness of Lexa’s lips still floored Clarke. It was a complete contradiction to the icy exterior she liked to show to everyone. Sometimes she couldn’t believe the Commander was the same person that looked at her like she was God’s greatest gift. Like she had, quite literally, fallen from the sky like an angel who was destined to save her.

The two of them separated a minute later, Clarke feeling slightly flustered due to Lexa’s spontaneity. Her breathing was shaky; unlike the first time they had kissed. She wasn’t sure she had felt so much in a single moment in her entire life. She swallowed heavily. “I think… maybe we should go on that walk.” She needed a break. She knew she wouldn’t be able to think if she was cooped up in here with Lexa in close quarters.

Lexa laughed quietly, because in all honesty, she had completely forgotten about the walk. It was obvious Clarke wanted to slow this down though, and Lexa would happily oblige. “If that’s what you wish.”

\------

Clarke had spent many more days in Polis with Lexa than she had intended. Her mind had completely pushed back any other duties or responsibilities. She had realised that _this_ was what she wanted when she left Camp Jaha. A complete escape. Something that required her to not think at all about what she had been through, and Lexa was very good at providing those things.

Clarke had gone for a morning walk by the river. Going for a swim was something that Lexa had greatly encouraged Clarke to do while she was here. Lexa had wanted Clarke to be as immersed as possible, especially while Lexa was off doing her Commander duties. Clarke had spent a lot of time just wandering around the city. Some people had even stopped her in her tracks and thanked her for what she had done at Mount Weather. Clarke didn’t see it as a heroic act herself, but the thought of her saving the lives of these Grounders made her feel slightly better about the whole thing.

When she arrived back at Lexa’s, she hadn’t expected the Commander to be there. She was fiddling around with some items inside a wooden crate but she turned around upon hearing Clarke’s footsteps.

Noticing Clarke’s near-weightlessness, Lexa smiled. “I was not sure where you had gotten to,” she spoke, but instead of her usual worried tone, she just raised an eyebrow at Clarke.

“Just for a walk by the river.” Clarke returned her smile knowingly. It was nice to see Lexa not panicking every single time Clarke wasn’t where the Commander thought she would be.

“You know, I always enjoyed swimming,” Lexa commented offhandedly. “It’s a nice way to escape from everything.” She raised an eyebrow expectantly at Clarke. “I was hoping it would do the same thing for you.”

“You’re really pushing this, aren’t you?” Clarke laughed. “If the Commander says so, then I guess I’ll have to,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “Though, I’m not sure I’ll ever be used to the idea of _swimming_ in actual water. I’ve never experienced anything like that on the Ark. Especially not in solitary.”

Lexa looked at her for a moment before turning back around to the wooden crate she had been rifling through before Clarke had arrived. “Speaking of solitary…” She turned towards Clarke again and beckoned her over to where she was. She picked up a black object and handed it to Clarke. “There are certain things you told me during the time we spent together plotting against Mount Weather. Things that I remember very clearly. Things that intrigued me.” She handed her the black object, awaiting Clarke’s reaction.

Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed, naturally having no idea what Lexa was talking about until the object was in her hand. She rubbed her thumb over it and her skin had a black coating over it. “Charcoal?” She asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement. She took another step forward to look in the crate, her eyes widening even further, when she saw that it had a few art supplies in it. “Where did you get this?!”

“You would be amazed at what my people find while out on patrols… And you would be even more surprised by what can be made from simple materials.” Lexa replied, picking up what appeared to Clarke to be a paintbrush that someone had made themselves. “We can even mix paints if you would like to.”

“Lexa…” Clarke stared at her in astonishment. “How did you… _Why_ did you…?”

“Because, you said it was something that made you happy. You deserve to be happy, Clarke. After everything that has happened and everything that you’ve done, you deserve happiness.” Lexa shrugged, as if that simple statement was the most obvious thing in the world to her.

“Lexa…” Clarke spoke again with a soft frown but Lexa shook her head at the blonde.

“You don’t need to say anything, Clarke. You can take it as a thank you for coming with me to Polis and allowing me to show you who my people truly are.”

‘Touched’ would have been an understatement of what Clarke was actually feeling. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Lexa this thoughtful before and it warmed her heart. She didn’t even know Lexa paid so much attention to all the mindless things she had mentioned over time. She obviously didn’t give the Commander enough credit in that department. “Well, then you’re welcome,” Clarke replied with a soft smile. “Are you busy this morning?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the sudden question. “No,” she replied as she looked at Clarke. “I have finished everything that I needed to do.”

“You should come with me. To the river.”

“To swim?”

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “That’s what you wanted me to do, isn’t it?”

“Well, yes.” Lexa started. “But I thought it was something you would want to do alone.”

Clarke’s reply came in a subtle shake of the head, her eyes trained solely on Lexa. “Come with me.” Her voice was quiet. It was an invitation, not a demand. Clarke wanted nothing more than to share these things with Lexa. The _regular_ things. Nothing that had to do with war or fighting. Just Clarke and Lexa with no complications. Like Lexa had promised her only days before.

“Okay,” Lexa conceded, but there was a glint in her eyes that Clarke had come to recognise over the past few days. “But we have to go to my spot.”

\------

Clarke had a sinking feeling that ‘her spot’ was a place that Lexa and Costia used to visit together, but she didn’t say anything as the two of them headed towards the river. They passed the spot that Clarke had been at earlier, where all the people currently were, and continued downstream. Lexa had said that nobody bothered to come down this far because they didn’t really need to. Not to mention, the further away a person went from Polis, the more danger they would be in.

Unless you were with the Grounder Commander, of course.

The further away they got, the more Lexa seemed to be at ease. Authority figures made her rather rigid. She was only a young adult, after all. Clarke’s burden of being unofficial leader of the Sky People wasn’t half as stressful, she was sure of that. There was nothing the blonde enjoyed more than seeing the rare moments where Lexa was carefree.

Clarke wasn’t too sure how long they had been walking, but the pair eventually came across a clearing amongst the trees. The flow of the river was much slower here and the trees provided the perfect amount of cover. In the distance, the walls of Polis stood tall. The whole environment seemed undisturbed, and Clarke could tell immediately why Lexa came here.

“God, this reminds me of the first day we landed down here.” Clarke sighed, heading towards the water. “Back when everything was uncomplicated. When our only problem was finding food,” she scoffed at how ridiculous it all sounded now. “Back when we didn’t think there was anyone else on the ground.”

Lexa couldn’t help but smile at Clarke’s words, even though the blonde couldn’t see. “You did everything that you could each time a challenge was presented to you. I admire that about you.” She stated boldly, watching the younger girl dip her feet in the water. “It’s the trait of a good leader.”

“Like I told you before Mount Weather… I never stood up and volunteered to be the leader of anything. I was just the only one with any common sense when we got on the ground.”

“ _Somebody_ had to take up leadership amongst your group, Clarke. And I’m glad it was you.”

“Because ‘I’m a natural leader’, right?” Clarke asked, rolling her eyes.

“No, because I might not have met you otherwise.”

Clarke turned to look at Lexa, her expression soft. The kiss they had shared the other day lingered in her mind. They hadn’t been that close since that day; Lexa seemed to be keeping her distance. Whenever the brunette said something like that, though, it made Clarke’s resistance to Lexa wane even further.

The blonde didn’t say anything further. She moved over to one of the large rocks on the side of the river. “We came here to swim, right?”

Lexa watched her curiously, but decided not to steer the conversation back to where it was heading. She moved over to the rock where Clarke was. “That we did.” Lexa was dressed simply, allowing her to easily pull off the shirt she was wearing and drop it on the rock. She ignored Clarke’s blatant staring, knowing full well that all of her tattoos were now on display.

Clarke had never really been that fascinated by a human body before. Not until she had seen Lexa’s. The older brunette wore something that looked like a tight crop top, but Clarke was more interested in her skin. The Commander had a few noticeable tattoos, including her large back tattoo that only intrigued Clarke even more. One that particularly caught her eye was a leaf design near her hipbone, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was the tattoo she had shared with Costia. Her gaze dragged over the soft outline of Lexa’s abs and the litter of scars, some large and some not. She had never seen a human body that held so much history before, and especially in someone so young.

“You know,” Lexa started, breaking Clarke’s staring contest with the Commander’s abdomen. “You might not be saying anything, but your eyes are unable to stay quiet.”

Clarke’s face burned with embarrassment, and she was sure her ears were turning red. “I—I’m just… Sorry.”

“You’re allowed to be curious,” Lexa answered simply, pulling her pants off in a swift motion. Underneath she wore tight shorts, making her thigh muscles rather evident.

Clarke had to swallow heavily just to calm herself down. Lexa headed towards the water before Clarke even had a chance to reply. The blonde scrambled to follow her, taking her top layer of clothes off as quickly as she could. As she watched Lexa, a thought popped into her head. “You brought me here so that you wouldn’t be seen.”

Lexa’s voice was even and calm. “As Commander, I have a certain image to maintain. I am not able to go walking around without my shirt in the capital.” She chuckled. “Anything that displays any form of weakness will not be tolerated.”

“Tolerated by the people, or tolerated by you?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

Clarke knew by now that whenever the Commander didn’t answer her, it meant she was on to something. Lexa turned around and began wading into the water, giving Clarke a full view of her back tattoo. It was intricate, and there was symbols included that Clarke had never seen before. Of course, it didn’t do anything to quell her curiosity. Clarke rid herself of the rest of her clothes and followed Lexa, watching as the older brunette reached thigh-deep water.

“How well do you know how to swim?” Clarke asked hesitantly as she waded out.

Lexa tried to hide her smile, but was unsuccessful. “You mean, what are the odds of me saving you if you start to drown?” She asked. “I would say the odds are very good. In my clan, you are taught how to swim from birth.”

Clarke let out a breath. “Good, because I haven’t exactly had a lot of time to swim while I’ve been on the ground.”

Lexa’s smile only grew, and Clarke found it incredibly endearing. “It’s not hard to learn. Come over here.”

As Clarke waded deeper in the water, her heart rate only increased. She remembered their first day on the ground, when something attacked Octavia in the water. She didn’t like their chances, even if she was with Lexa. The water was freezing, unsurprisingly, and once she was out to where Lexa was, goosebumps had broken out all over her body.

The amused look on Lexa’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Clarke, and Clarke’s frown certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Lexa.

“You’re cold,” Lexa commented with a raised eyebrow.

“You certainly like to state the obvious,” Clarke said through gritted teeth, trying to find her footing so that she wouldn’t slip on any rocks under the water.

Sensing that Clarke was struggling, Lexa reached out and grabbed her hand. Lexa’s touch was like fire, and suddenly, the goosebumps on Clarke’s body had nothing to do with the cold.

Clarke stepped forward again, placing her free hand on Lexa’s arm for support. “This is ridiculous,” she murmured, attempting to balance herself on a rock.

“Clearly,” Lexa replied light-heartedly, and it was the volume of her voice that made Clarke realise just how close to Lexa she was. They were almost chest-to-chest and Clarke’s gaze went immediately from Lexa’s eyes, to her lips, to her abdomen. The first thing Clarke noticed was the pink scar that sat near her stomach. The medicine that the Grounders in Polis used worked wonders, and it looked much better. Clarke still avoided touching it though, just in case. Lexa watched her intently, and didn’t try to stop her when she placed her hand on her ribs where one of her tattoos sat. It was a simple design, yet it had twelve points on it. She wondered if it symbolised the Coalition.

Lexa stayed very still as Clarke’s hands continued to explore. She moved lower, her thumb brushing over the leaf pattern above her hipbone, and Clarke could’ve sworn the Commander flinched slightly under her touch. She dragged her eyes upwards to her chest, and once her hand reached Lexa’s shoulder, she could feel a multitude of scars under her fingertips. She had heard of the kill scar system that the Woods Clan used, but she had never seen it up close and personal.

“There’s a lot,” Lexa spoke, breaking through Clarke’s thoughts. “Of scars.”

Clarke nodded slowly. It was something she had expected — Lexa was the Commander, after all. It was ‘kill or be killed’ in this world. “I suppose… if I was a Grounder, I’d have hundreds myself by now.”

Clarke could feel Lexa tense under her touch at those words. “Clarke, you’re not a bad person.” Lexa tentatively reached up, her hand cupping Clarke’s cheek. “You need to separate the life you once knew from the life you have now. The circumstances are not the same. You can’t live by the same rules.”

Clarke sighed, knowing that Lexa was ultimately right. Although she was right, any advice she had was easier said than done. “I’m trying. You know I am.”

“I do.” Lexa’s voice was gentle, and in moments like this, Clarke didn’t understand where the ruthless Commander came from.

Clarke’s gaze travelled downwards again until it met Lexa’s new addition. The tattoo had healed quick and well, and Clarke had found herself glancing at the intricate design ever since she had gotten it. “You know… you never told me what the significance of this was.” She spoke whilst lifting Lexa’s arm out of the water.

“The other warriors received something symbolic of the Mountain itself,” Lexa explained. “I didn’t want that particular design though. The Mountain itself is not something I need to be reminded of every day.”

Clarke looked at her, knowing exactly what she was talking about. Having a permanent reminder of the Mountain seemed more like a curse than anything else.

“Instead, I requested this. It’s to symbolise the coming together of two opposite yet powerful forces. Though, it is unknown what these forces create together.” Lexa spoke, as if she were reciting the definition out of a book.

The symbolism, quite literally, took Clarke’s breath away. “Your tattoo isn’t about the Mountain,” she said as her mind pieced it together. “It’s about the alliance.”

Lexa nodded, glad that Clarke was able to figure it out without her having to tell her.

Clarke frowned. “But… you _broke_ the alliance.”

“I didn’t walk away at Mount Weather to break the alliance. As a Commander, it’s not all about fighting or killing people or how many armies you can slaughter. It’s about diplomacy and fairness and putting your people first. When we first met, you called us savages. Bringing you to Polis was another way for me to prove to you that we’re not,” Lexa explained, dropping her hand from Clarke’s cheek. “That alliance between the two of us — between our two clans — was something I was very proud of. However, my people’s protection has to come before my pride. Always.”

Clarke stared at Lexa for a long moment in silence. “I know you’re not savages…” She finally said, letting out a soft sigh. “Finn did a horrible thing and you were merciful when I killed him.” Her lower lip began wobbling unexpectedly and her voice cracked, “Y—You did what _you_ had to do, I know. But, Lexa, it hurt _me_ , too. N—Not just the alliance. You broke the alliance, but you also broke _me_.”

Lexa tried her best to remain her stoic and impassive self, but it was no use. She gave in to her immediate reaction, which was to wrap her arms tightly around Clarke’s shoulders. She hadn’t hugged a single soul since Costia; since the last time she saw Costia before her death. It broke her heart to not only think about that, but to think about Clarke breaking right in front of her because of something _she_ did.

It was then that she knew she couldn’t walk away again. She was beginning to discover that, although Clarke didn’t wear war paint or carry a sword, she _was_ one of her people. Abandoning her was not an option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was heavily inspired (and my spark was reignited) by the S3 trailer although the story does not go in the same direction. At least, not for now. Half of this chapter was written over the course of the past four months, the other half has been quite recent.
> 
> At first this was only going to be three long chapters (as you can clearly see), yet I actually have thought of other major plot points I could use, so that's a thing! We'll see how we go.


	3. Three

The swimming lesson did not go well, to say the least.

(Although, that was dependent on what a person meant by the word ‘well’.)

Lexa spent most of it laughing at Clarke, and Clarke spent most of it smiling because Lexa was laughing. Not a lot had been accomplished by the end of it, but Clarke had seen the Commander smile more in one day than she had the entire time she had known her.

Thankfully, Clarke’s stint of crying in Lexa’s arms didn’t last very long. Lexa wasn’t the only one who didn’t like to look weak in front of other people, but it was especially hard to break down in front of Lexa, who was the one who had caused a lot of the anguish she was going through.

She had to admit that Lexa’s arms were a comforting place to be in. When there was no war, when the two of them weren’t in danger, Lexa gave off a vibe that made Clarke feel incredibly safe. The best part to Clarke was that she didn’t try to defend or justify her actions. Lexa knew what she had done was wrong, and Clarke knew she was willing to accept any sort of punishment the blonde wanted to give.

Fortunately for Lexa, Clarke was past the point of wanting to punish her.

Once the two of them got out of the water and Clarke’s body began to cool down, it didn’t take long for her to begin trembling due to the temperature. The water itself was cold enough, but once Clarke had gotten out, the breeze only made it worse.

“Clarke, your lips are turning blue,” Lexa spoke, brief concern washing over her face. “We should get you back.”

“Y—You’d think I’d be used to the cold. Living in s—space and everything.” Clarke chuckled, trying to pull her clothes on as quickly as possible in order to provide some warmth.

“Well, I doubt you are used to walking around with hardly any clothes on,” Lexa looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Fair point,” Clarke replied, her hands rubbing her arms in order to warm herself up. She tried to create some decent friction before she felt a hand on her back that made warmth shoot throughout her entire body in an instant.

(God, sometimes she hated that Lexa had that effect on her.)

“We should get you back to the house,” Lexa decided. “I’ll light a fire and we can relax for a while.”

“Hang on… Did Commander Lexa actually suggest that we _sit back and do nothing_?” Clarke teased, a smirk making its way on to her face despite the cold.

Clarke could practically _hear_ Lexa’s eyes roll into the back of her head as she walked alongside her. She didn’t need need to look at her to know what her facial expressions were revealing. Lexa didn’t necessarily show a lot of emotion, but Clarke could still work out how she was feeling rather easily.

The walk back to Lexa’s house was short, for which Clarke was very thankful. By the time they had reached it, she was shuddering even more, and Lexa had quickly ushered her inside the house and shut the door. She went straight to work on the fire, ignoring the fact that her own hair was dripping and her clothes were damp.

Clarke wondered if the girl even felt the weather at all.

Lexa, being the expert she was, took less than a minute to start the fire in the fireplace she had. Clarke only watched on in frozen awe as she huddled by the warmth while Lexa disappeared into her room, presumably to get dry clothes. It only just dawned on Clarke that there was a lot she could learn about general survival from Lexa. It probably would’ve saved her life when she was out wandering around on her own. It was almost embarrassing how quickly she had needed help.

Not that it mattered now. She was glad it was Lexa’s men who had found her.

Once Lexa had re-emerged, her clothes were dry, and her hair was almost wildly messy. Clarke had always wondered just how much her braids tamed her hair; now it seemed as if she had her answer.

“That’s a nice look for you,” Clarke couldn’t help but tease, and the eye roll she received in response only made her giddier.

“You have already seen me bloodied and battered.” Lexa shrugged. “So seeing me look like the complete opposite of the Commander of the Grounders shouldn’t surprise you in the slightest.”

“Actually, it does.” Clarke chuckled. “I think sometimes I trick myself into thinking you’re invincible.”

Lexa laughed quietly as well. “I wish I was.” She paused for a brief moment. “But if I’m making you think that, then I am doing my job correctly.” She wandered over to the fire, and it wasn’t until then that Clarke noticed the goosebumps on Lexa’s arms similar to her own. The Commander sat close to Clarke, trying to soak up the warmth of the fire as she was doing. “I’m glad you came with me to Polis, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled gently, turning her head towards Lexa. “Me too. You remember when you said it would change the way I thought about your people? Well, you were right. I mean, _you_ had already proved the humane and compassionate side to me, but to actually step foot into your world was… something else.” She shook her head, knowing her words were failing her. “And, I don’t know, it makes me a little proud to know you.”

Then it was Lexa’s turn to look over at Clarke. Clarke often saw the fondness in Lexa’s eyes when they spoke to each other, but sometimes there was a glint of a little something more in there. This was one of those times. “I am honoured to be Commander during the time that you landed on this Earth, Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke’s eyes softened, and she once again felt that familiar weakness she did when she was around Lexa. Like everything was going hazy and her control over her actions was slipping away. She placed her hand on the floor between the two of them for leverage as she leaned in closer to Lexa. She stretched over, placing a lingering kiss on the Commander’s cheek. Only, when her lips left Lexa’s skin, she didn’t pull away.

“Clarke…” Lexa started warily, very aware of just how close their faces were to each other. “What are you doing?”

“I just… I feel close to you right now. I don’t want to just let the moment pass. We always seem to let the moment pass.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Lexa waited for a reply, but it never came. Clarke rose to her knees and her lips were on Lexa’s before the brunette could even decipher what was going on. The blonde’s arms moved around her neck, bringing the taller girl closer. Any form of sense had left Clarke’s head at that point — all she could focus on was the softness of the Commander’s lips. It was one of the only openly soft parts about Lexa, but at the same time, it was a soft part of her that only Clarke got to experience.

Despite Clarke being relatively forceful with her kiss, Lexa remained calm, her lips only moving at a slow pace compared to Clarke’s, which forced the blonde to slow down. Lexa’s hand found Clarke’s waist, and it slipped around to her lower back. It was as if Lexa wanted to savour this, which wouldn’t have surprised Clarke in the slightest, given how their last kiss had ended so abruptly.

Now, after everything that had happened between them, Clarke just couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Clarke…” Lexa murmured between kisses, almost as if she wanted to stop but couldn’t quite find the will to do it.

“What?” Clarke asked, her voice much breathier and ragged than before. Her forehead paused against Lexa’s, daring to look her in the eye.

“Are you sure about this?”

Clarke almost laughed at the question. “No, not in the slightest. I want to, though. Just let me have you,” she spoke quietly. “Even if it’s only for a little while.”

“You do have me,” Lexa replied in an instant. Lexa had been Clarke’s for as long as they had known each other. Lexa was very easily committed to one person; she didn’t need to waste her time with anyone else. Clarke was it. “That is why I kissed you in the tent before Mount Weather. I needed you to know how I felt about you, just in case one of us died there.”

“Yet neither of us died.”

“Neither of us died,” Lexa echoed quietly. She never went into a battle expecting a good outcome. You had to expect the worse in every situation when you were Commander. There was something about Clarke, though, that made her hope for the best. She wouldn’t have forgiven herself if she didn’t show Clarke her true feelings before the battle at Mount Weather had begun.

Lexa’s hand, which was still resting against Clarke’s back, bunched the material of her shirt in her hand. She dragged it upwards slightly before slipping her hand underneath, Lexa’s calloused hand exploring the skin of Clarke’s back. Clarke let out a shaky breath through her nose, Lexa’s forehead still pressed to hers. It had been a while since Lexa had touched anyone in an intimate way, especially considering she made a point _not_ to get close to anyone.

Without saying anything, Clarke leaned back away from the brunette, before lifting up her shirt and dropping it on the floor next to her.

Lexa’s reaction was about as Clarke had expected. Her eyes widened slightly at the unexpected action, and her breathing pattern changed almost instantly.

For Clarke, it had felt like a lifetime since she had gone this slowly with anyone. With Finn, it was quick and there was almost zero real emotion behind it. She hardly knew the boy back then, and even though she hadn’t known Lexa for that long, Clarke felt as if she knew her better than anyone else alive. But, she wasn’t doing it to prove a point. She felt _right_ with Lexa. Clarke felt this was one of the many unresolved things in her life.

“Clarke, I’m…” Lexa started, but eventually decided against letting words ruin the moment. It was clear that Clarke wanted this, and after all, Lexa had been waiting for Clarke to make the first move the entire time. She wasn’t about to make another move when Clarke had told her she wasn’t ready the last time. As Clarke moved closer, Lexa’s hands immediately found her skin again.

Clarke’s entire body was buzzing at that point, and she felt both anxious and impatient. “I wish I knew what you were thinking,” she confessed as she looked at Lexa.

Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. “I’m thinking that… I’m nervous. It has been a long time since anybody has touched me. Since anybody has even been _close_ to me like this.”

Clarke placed both her hands on Lexa’s cheeks. “We don’t have to do anything. But I’ll… I’m going to look after you, Lexa. I know what you’ve been through, and I’m never going to forget how hard this is for you.”

“I know I can trust you, Clarke. In every respect.” Lexa bit her lip for a moment, even though she knew deep down that she had already made her decision on what to do. “We should probably stop talking,” she suggested, raising an eyebrow.

A smile erupted on Clarke’s face almost instantly. The fact that Lexa trusted her with this was everything she could’ve asked for. Lexa was special, and in any normal universe where she wasn’t Commander and Clarke wasn’t the leader of the opposing side, maybe she could’ve done this with her a long time ago.

Clarke wasted no time in grabbing the front of Lexa’s shirt and tugging on it. Clarke suddenly felt nervous herself, and it didn’t take long for her to remember the slight obstacle she had forgotten about.

“Damn it…” She started, her hand instinctively lifting up Lexa’s shirt and moving towards the still-raw area of flesh that had been injured on their way to Polis. The healers had done a great job, and she had seen early that it looked better, but it probably was still causing Lexa pain. “I forgot about this.”

Lexa smiled softly at her concern, before taking Clarke’s hand. “I have a solution.” Still holding on to her hand, she stood up, helping Clarke up along with her. She led Clarke through into the next room and towards the bed. Clarke was almost overwhelmed at the fact that she was in Lexa’s _bedroom_ that she was only torn away from her thoughts when a quiet gasp came from Lexa. Clarke looked at her only to discover that Lexa had taken her shirt off, and was now looking down at the injury.

“Listen, Lexa—”

“Stop, Clarke.” Lexa huffed before sitting down on the bed and looking up at Clarke expectantly. She reached out, placing her hands on Clarke’s hips and pulling her closer. “I thought you said you wanted me, Clarke. I’m right here.”

It was the first time Clarke had ever heard Lexa speak in a taunting tone, and she had to admit that she was thoroughly enjoying it. She took the brunette’s invitation and climbed on top of her, one leg on either side of Lexa’s waist. Lexa’s lips found Clarke’s immediately after that, and as soon as Clarke placed her hands on Lexa’s skin, she felt fire. Never in a million years did she think she would get this close to her.

Lexa was still wearing the same top from the river, and Clarke could see that it was still damp against her skin. Clarke had never seen Lexa in such a vulnerable position before, and she was sure that nobody else alive had either. She took the time to study as much of the older girl as she could. Her hair was a wild mess behind her head, all of her tattoos and scars were on full display for Clarke to see. Everything about the Commander in that moment seemed wild; the complete opposite of what she liked to show to the world.

It was moments like this when Clarke realised that Lexa — the real Lexa — was the complete opposite of the Commander title she had been entrusted with. ‘Lexa’ was somebody that not a lot of people in this world had met before. Clarke was beyond privileged to know her personally.

Clarke slowly moved her hands towards Lexa’s hairline, her thumb gently brushing along her skin. Lexa’s breathing was unsteady, indicating that she was nervous, but she didn’t utter a single word in protest as Clarke’s hands explored her body. The blonde was cautious, as promised, she didn’t want to overstep a single boundary. She knew just how sensitive Lexa would have been to all of this, and she didn’t want to overload her.

“You do not have to be so gentle with me, you know.” Lexa spoke quietly. “I’m fine, I promise.”

Clarke nodded slowly. “This is just a lot more intense than I thought it would be.”

Lexa laughed softly. “I know what you mean.” She paused for a moment. “Maybe it’s not the right time.”

Clarke shook her head quickly. She had been dancing around her feelings for Lexa for far too long already. “It’s only not the right time if _you_ don’t want it to happen.”

“I do want it to happen,” Lexa replied without a moment’s hesitation. Despite seeming nervous, Clarke could see in Lexa’s eyes that she was at ease. That she trusted Clarke. It was a responsibility she wasn’t going to take lightly. The older brunette lifted herself up with a hiss of pain due to her injury. Clarke tried to reach out, but all attempts to help were ignored as Lexa tried her best to pull off the only thing still covering her top half. Once she had succeeded, she dropped the item of clothing next to the bed and looked at Clarke expectantly.

Suffice to say, Clarke wasn’t playing around anymore. She waited until Lexa was lying down again before pressing her body against the brunette’s, their lips meeting in a searing kiss. Clarke just wanted to have her hands everywhere, and Lexa seemed more than willing to fulfil that request.

Lexa’s skin as much smoother than anticipated, but her touch caused a heat so intense that it almost caused her to flinch away. Having her hands on Lexa’s body was addicting, and every kiss she left against her skin felt like her own personal branding iron. It was that reactionary instinct inside of her — she wanted Lexa to be hers. That kind of addiction was deadly.

Clarke wasn’t even sure how the rest of their clothes came off, but it wasn’t long before the moans and gasps Lexa was eliciting were almost too much for Clarke to handle. (Clarke had no idea that the Commander was going to be that vocal.) _Seeing_ her vulnerable was one thing, but _hearing_ her was an entirely different story for Clarke. Clarke left a trail of kisses on as many scars and tattoos as she could find before burying her face between the Commander’s legs, her fingers digging into the brunette’s thighs.

Lexa’s back arched, one hand tugging at Clarke’s hair, and in that moment, Clarke was beginning to enjoy this power she had over the legendary Commander. They were lucky they were not doing this in one of the Woods Clan’s camps, because the sounds Lexa was making were not quiet in the least. Lexa was very skilled at surprising Clarke with everything she did. Clarke certainly wasn’t complaining.

Once Lexa’s legs had stopped shaking, Clarke tried her best to re-join Lexa, but the Commander wouldn’t have it. Lexa patted her thigh, directing the blonde to straddle it. Despite her injury, she tried her best to sit upright, but only managed to lean against the head of the bed.

Clarke gave her a questioning look, but the lip bite she received in response told her not to ask questions. “I need leverage, Clarke,” Lexa whispered. “I hope you did not think you were going to walk away with nothing.”

Clarke kissed Lexa hard, their tongues meeting as the Commander’s fingers wandered between Clarke’s legs. Clarke had realised then, that if anyone was using their lips as a branding iron, it was Lexa. Lexa knew exactly how to make somebody hers, and the haziness surrounding Clarke’s thoughts was intoxicating. By the end, Clarke’s head was buried in Lexa’s neck, her teeth harshly grazing Lexa’s flesh as her hands further explored the brunette’s chest.

Once sweaty limbs eventually untangled themselves from each other, Lexa had immediately pulled the blonde closer. She didn’t want there to be a single second where she wasn’t touching Clarke. Clarke was still breathing heavily and Lexa’s eyes were closed as she tried to calm herself, her fingers tracing nonsensical patterns up and down Clarke’s spine. She hadn’t been this close to anyone in a very long time, and she wanted to savour it for as long as she could.

(Clarke wasn’t sure how Lexa could be so calm all the time. She knew she was never going to get those sounds and images out of her head, and she was quite sure she didn’t want to, either.)

It took Clarke a while to speak, but she didn’t want the silence to rest too heavily. She pressed a few gentle kisses to Lexa’s neck. “You were attacked by a wild animal and your stamina is still… I have to say, I’m impressed.”

The laugh that came from Lexa was something Clarke had never heard before. It was more genuine than she had ever heard coming from the Commander, and it only made Clarke giggle herself in response. “I think you just ruined the moment, Clarke.”

Clarke’s head still nestled between Lexa’s shoulder and neck, and the brunette could feel the movement of her head from side to side. “I don’t think anything could ruin it, Lexa.”

Silence consumed them again for a few moments, before Lexa let out a quiet hiss.

Clarke recoiled immediately once she remembered Lexa’s wound. “Damn it, Lexa, I’m sorry.”

Lexa was still looking down at the wound as she replied. “It’s okay. I don’t think it has been reopened.”

Clarke relaxed slightly as she nodded. She climbed off Lexa and stood next to the bed, looking around the room. “I should change your bandage anyway. Do you need anything?”

“Clarke,” Lexa chuckled, reaching out to grab the girl’s wrist. “If you plan to leave the room, I suggest putting on some clothes. You never know who might be out there.” She paused for a brief moment. “Although, the view is certainly interesting.”

Clarke looked down at her own naked body, her face flushing red almost immediately. She had absolutely no idea that Lexa had the ability to make her blush, but she should’ve been prepared for all the surprises when it came to Lexa. “I’ll just… I’ll go get a new bandage.” She mumbled quickly before picking what clothes she could find off the floor.

“You’re embarrassed.” Lexa spoke, and once again, it was more of a statement than a question. Clarke could practically see the amused smile on Lexa’s face.

Clarke was only gone for a few minutes, but Lexa was still unable to get comfortable. She tried to keep her body rigid so she didn’t have to move, but every breath was turning out to be more painful than the last. Clarke was still quite flustered when she returned, which only caused Lexa’s eyebrows to raise expectantly. “You should’ve told me that you had _people_ standing outside your house.”

“I have guards everywhere I go, Clarke.” Lexa replied, and Clarke could tell she was trying to suppress her smile. “You know that.”

“But I didn’t think you’d have them when we were— _ugh_.” She crinkled up her nose slightly before moving back over to the bed. Lexa was still not wearing any clothes, only the furs on the bed were covering her bottom half, and Clarke had to fight all urges she had. “Show me,” she murmured, her hands going straight to Lexa’s bandage. Lexa must have wrapped it again when they had come back from the lake, but it was a messy job. Once Clarke had unwrapped it, it didn’t look too bad. She inspected the wound to make sure it hadn’t reopened before rewrapping it. “No more ‘activities’ for you. Not until you’re better.”

The frown on Lexa’s face was evident. “But, Clarke—”

“ _No_ ,” Clarke spoke firmly. “I don’t want you getting hurt any more than you already are.”

Lexa huffed, rolling her eyes slightly. Of course, she didn’t understand being warned against things, nobody ever really looked after her the way Clarke did, or the way Costia had before her. She wasn’t used to people telling _her_ what to do, it was always the other way around. Arguing with Clarke seemed like a waste of energy, the girl had clearly already made up her mind.

Clarke removed her hand from the bandage and brought it up to Lexa’s cheek. “I think you can survive a few days of no physical exertion. Consider it a vacation.”

Lexa scoffed. “I am the Commander. We do not have vacations.”

“You do now. You can start a brand new tradition,” Clarke teased as she leaned in to press a quick kiss to Lexa’s lips.

\-----

Some hours later, once the sun had finally set, Clarke had returned to Lexa’s bed. Fully-clothed, this time, she tried her best to tangle herself with the Commander without putting pressure on her wound. Lexa had insisted that Clarke leave the guest room and move into her room, which, honestly, Clarke wasn’t going to argue with. She’d much rather have company than sleep alone.

Her head was currently resting against Lexa’s shoulder, watching Lexa’s chest rise and fall with each breath. It was soothing to be in her presence when neither of them had any obligations. It didn’t even feel like they were on opposing sides anymore. (The term ‘sleeping with the enemy’ _had_ crossed Clarke’s mind once or twice, and it almost made her laugh.) Lexa made it incredibly easy to her around her; Clarke had no conflicting thoughts about whether she should be trusting her anymore. It was just second nature that she did.

“Do you ever think about who will become Commander after you’re gone? I mean… do you ever wonder what they’ll be like?”

Lexa was silent for a few moments before replying. “Sometimes. Focusing on the present is more important though.”

“What was the last Commander like?”

Lexa chuckled softly. “He was the complete opposite to me. He was bigger, taller, older… but very inspiring. I think that is why the clan leaders were so wary of me, I was just a wild teenager when I became Commander. I’m sure I wasn’t quite what they had in mind to succeed him.”

Clarke nodded slowly. “How did he die?”

“The way most of us do,” Lexa replied flatly. “In combat. The clans had been fractured for a long time, between that and Mount Weather, there was a lot of death before the coalition was formed. Everyone died very young, I was hoping to change that when I became Commander. Less wars, more peace.”

Clarke watched Lexa as she spoke, and even in the darkness, she could tell just how passionate Lexa was about her position. Even if Lexa died tomorrow, the amount she had accomplished so far was inspiring. “I like the sound of that. I’d like you to be around for as long as possible, preferably.”

Lexa smiled. “I shall do my best, Clarke. I know I ruined the alliance between your people and mine, but one day I would like to revisit it… for the sake of peace. If you’ll allow it.”

Clarke sighed. “My people would have a new leader by now, Lexa. We’d be lucky if it was Bellamy, and I’m sure he’s just as angry as I was. If it was one of the adults, or one of the new people who recently came down with the Ark, then I doubt you’d have an easy time reforming the alliance.”

Lexa nodded. “It was just a thought. One day, I hope we can get back to that. The only threats to our people now, are each other. I just wish to eliminate anything that could lead us to war.”

“I understand. You know I do. If I ever reunite with my people, that will definitely be something to be discussed,” Clarke promised. She knew how much time and energy Lexa had invested into keeping the peace amongst her people. Clarke would have hated it if it was her people that screwed that up for them all over again. Her people had already killed Anya, and she wasn’t even sure if Lexa knew that. Not to mention all the other Grounder blood on her hands. “I just need time, you know that.”

“I know, and I am not trying to put pressure on you, Clarke. I was just… thinking out loud.” Lexa replied, her head moving to rest against Clarke’s.

Clarke let silence wash over them once more before she spoke again. “You know I would be honoured to be at your side… Leading my people as you lead yours.”

Lexa smiled softly. “As would I, Clarke.”

\------

Lexa only saw Clarke briefly the next morning. Since she had been back in Polis, there had been many meetings Lexa was required to attend. There were many things to discuss — the state of the Coalition and the now-fractured alliance with the Sky People. The clan leaders had many questions for Lexa that she just couldn’t answer. A part of her wished Clarke could be in these meetings with her, because Clarke had an untouched wisdom that complimented Lexa greatly. It made her smile to think of Clarke being in a position of power, by her side, the way it should be.

Waking up next to Clarke for the first time was like an out of body experience. She hadn’t felt this full or at peace in a very long time. For that brief moment when she opened her eyes to a mess of blonde hair and tired eyes, she felt like she didn’t have a single responsibility in the whole world.

She hadn’t felt like this since Costia, and that was how she knew she couldn’t let anything happen to Clarke.

Being with the Commander was dangerous enough, but with the state of the Grounder society so fragile right now, Lexa didn’t know what was around the corner. Usually she could predict things, make them go her way, but at this moment, everything was uncertain. Yet, when she was with Clarke, everything seemed so clear. It was almost as if she could see her entire future laid out before her. A future where she was with Clarke and they were leading their people together, and the Coalition didn’t have a single division, and her people were happy and safe.

She knew that was all a lie though.

Even the Commander had childish fantasies sometimes.

Lexa sighed as she watched Clarke, tentatively combing through her messy locks with her fingers. Clarke was smiling slightly as she watched Lexa, and Lexa was sure she had never seen anything so beautiful. There weren’t many moments where Lexa was able to give in to her feelings, but when she was behind closed doors with Clarke, she always felt safe.

Lexa thought that ‘safe’ wasn’t a word she knew anymore. Clearly, she just hadn’t been looking in the right place.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Clarke asked, the smile on her face not fading. Her voice was huskier than Lexa had ever heard it, and her heart squeezed against the walls of the cage she locked it in. “You… always give me this look. Like you’re just seeing me for the first time.”

Lexa let a moment pass by before she answered, her fingers playing with Clarke’s hair. “You may not believe this, but I _did_ try to be subtle. At least, when we first met.”

Clarke tried to suppress the laugh bubbling in her throat, but she couldn’t. “That intense staring thing you do is _not_ subtle. Not the Commander stare, but the I’d-protect-you-with-my-life one that you do sometimes.”

Now it was Lexa’s turn to suppress her smile. “I suppose it’s not very subtle.”

“You’re not denying it.”

“No, I’m not,” Lexa replied, raising her eyebrows. “I would never deny that I want you safe. That I would… go out of my way to protect you if my position allowed it.”

“You mean… when being the Commander doesn’t get in the way?”

Lexa nodded softly. “My people come first. You know that better than anyone. But you… I want you to be safe, too. And I will protect you if need be.”

Clarke leaned forward, her hand gently caressing Lexa’s cheek. “I want the same for you, Lexa, but you and I both know that it’s just not possible in this world.”

“It could be,” Lexa countered. “One day. Peace could exist between all of us.”

Clarke sighed. “It just seems so…”

“Unlikely?”

Clarke let out a breath. “Yes.”

Lexa tried her best to get closer to Clarke without hurting herself. She hovered over the blonde, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her lips. “One day,” she repeated softly. “Until then… I will try my best to keep you safe.”

Clarke smiled softly. “I can take care of myself, Lexa.”

“I know that.” Lexa nodded. “You are more than capable, Clarke, but that does not stop me from wanting to protect you.”

“Well…” Clarke started, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck. “Right here, right now, I’m safe. And I’m safe here in Polis. So you can breathe.”

Lexa didn’t reply, instead choosing to kiss Clarke soundly. “Thank you,” she murmured once she had pulled away. “For giving me a chance to breathe.”

“You’re welcome,” Clarke whispered, her nose brushing against Lexa’s.

The silence that fell between them wasn’t heavy at all, and Clarke welcomed it with open arms. Lexa sighed heavily. “Unfortunately, I have a meeting to get to.”

“That’s okay,” Clarke murmured. “I think I’ll go for a wander around the city today.”

Lexa tried to suppress a smile. Clarke didn’t miss it. This was all Lexa had wanted after all; for Clarke to be a part of her culture. “Then I will see you back here later.”

“Later,” Clarke promised, happily sitting back to watch the Commander rise from the bed to start her day.

\------

Lexa certainly wasn’t the most focused she had ever been in her meetings. She knew that people could tell, but nobody said anything. Why would they? She was the Commander and speaking out against her just wasn’t an option for anyone. She knew she should have been more focused, and she knew it was dangerous to be so distracted by her emotions. If she and Clarke continued down this road, would she be able to carry out her duties effectively?

She had never had this problem with Costia. Costia was on her side, she didn’t have to worry if their people were going to suddenly start a war with each other. Clarke was different. She worried far too much about Clarke. She also worried far too much about her rapidly advancing feelings for Clarke.

She loved her. She knew she did.

Lexa didn’t fall in love with just anyone, but when she did, it hit her hard and fast. There was a connection as soon as they had met for the first time in Lexa’s tent, but she hadn’t really discovered the extent of her feelings until they were attacked by the pauna. Clarke saved her life that day when she didn’t even need to. Clarke didn’t know her; she could’ve easily left her to die. But she didn’t.

After Costia, Lexa had no idea if she would ever find someone who made her feel that way again. After Costia, Lexa wasn’t even sure if she was capable of being loved by anyone else. Clarke made her feel like it was possible. Like _anything_ was possible. She had never considered herself an optimist, but Clarke filled her with a lot of feelings. Hope being one of them.

Lexa had a feeling that bringing up what she had discussed with Clarke at one of her meetings wouldn’t be the best idea. The knew the rest of the Coalition probably wouldn’t agree to an alliance with the Sky People, especially when most of them were so unpredictable. Clarke was the only one Lexa trusted, so she was going to be the only one the Coalition trusted too. That’s if the Coalition trusted her at all.

Lexa didn’t really have a leg to stand on, so she kept it to herself. For now.

She exited the briefing room with a sigh, stretching her shoulders in an attempt to relieve some of the tension. She thought the war ending meant _less_ stress, not more. She needed a long, hot soak in the bath. She felt a blush rise up her neck at the thought of Clarke joining her, but shook it off when she realised she was still in public.

She walked towards Indra, who was waiting for her beside the door. “Have you gotten any word from Clarke?”

Unbeknownst to the blonde, Lexa had sent one of her warriors to keep an eye on her as she wandered the streets. They were inside Polis’s walls, so realistically, they were safe. Yet, Clarke was still an outsider in this city, and not everyone would give her a warm welcome. Lexa knew she was being paranoid, but Clarke’s safety was one of her main concerns now that the war was over. She knew her attachment to Clarke could end up being distracting, but she wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“No, Commander.” Indra replied, shaking her head.

It wasn’t a big deal. It wouldn’t surprise Lexa if Clarke had wanted to stay out late to see the nightlife. As long as her guard was watching over her, Lexa would be able to breathe. “Make sure our scout checks in soon. I told him I wanted regular reports.”

“Of course,” Indra murmured, giving Lexa a quick nod before hurrying out of the room.

Lexa travelled alone back towards her house. She didn’t get to spend a lot of time alone, even in Polis, but there were rare moments like this that she could truly appreciate. Although she was grateful for the protection that her guards provided, she didn’t feel like a human being when she was around them. She felt like she was far too important; that her _life_ was far too important. Which it wasn’t. Not really. The Commander was easily replaceable.

She wandered the streets slowly, and she was suddenly hit with the nostalgia of her childhood. Of course, she had been training to be a warrior since she was a toddler, but even then, her childhood was spent being much more carefree than when she found out she was to become Commander. She was even allowed to make mistakes and run amuck, even if Anya punished her afterwards. She couldn’t make those same mistakes as the Commander. She couldn’t be childish as the Commander, even though she was still a child herself.

The one thing Lexa knew about this world was that you had to grow up fast or else you would fall behind.

Lexa wasn’t one to fall behind.

Once she had arrived back at the house, she half expected Clarke to be there waiting for her. She wasn’t, and once again, Lexa was left by herself. The bath idea she had earlier was sounding more and more tempting as the silent minutes went by. She thought she might as well take advantage of being alone while she could. Although, she would have preferred Clarke’s company.

Stripping down to her undergarments, Lexa wandered around freely while the water was heating. She had only just entered her bathroom when a loud knocking at her front door caused her to cover up and head there immediately.

Lexa should’ve known that her moment of peace was too good to be true.

Indra was on the other side of the door, looking worried and panicked. Lexa narrowed her eyes at her and ushered her inside straight away. “What’s going on?” She asked, a demanding tone taking over her usually-level voice.

“Your scout was found dead in one of the side streets. That is why he never checked in with us, he was assassinated quickly and quietly,” Indra explained hurriedly. “And Clarke…” Lexa held her breath. “Clarke is gone.”

Lexa felt her heart drop to her stomach. An all-too-familiar feeling. “What do you mean _gone_? How do you know?”

“Gone, Commander. No guards have seen her for hours, and she doesn’t exactly blend in. My guess is… she’s been taken.”

\------

By the time Lexa had arrived at the scene of the crime, there were two dozen citizens crammed into the back alleyway, all staring and whispering over the body of her guard. Lexa calmly dismissed them, assuring her people that there was nothing to be afraid of. She promised them that she would get to the bottom of it, no matter what the cost.

It didn’t take much to notice that her guard had been taken by surprise. His throat was slashed in one clean cut; clearly the mark of a trained assassin. Now that the war was over, there wasn’t any need for assassins, _especially_ in the capital. The laws in Polis were upheld very well by the guards, but Lexa wondered how they let something like this happen in broad daylight.

What Lexa noticed on the man’s face was even more disturbing to her. A single stripe of white war paint decorated her guard’s face, like someone had dipped their finger in it and done it deliberately. Different coloured war paint was typically used by all the clans, but only one clan used white as their signature colour.

The Ice Nation.

Lexa swallowed heavily, trying to suppress her rage. The thought of Nia having Clarke like she once had Costia weighed heavily on her mind. Lexa and Clarke had kept to themselves their entire time in Polis, so she couldn’t possibly know that Clarke was special to her unless there was a spy involved. Or, Nia could just want the leader of the opposition.

Either way, Lexa wasn’t going to let it stand. Lexa knew what Nia’s methods were, torture being a personal favourite, and Lexa wouldn’t let it happen. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Ordering her guard to be murdered and kidnapping the Commander’s guest would be more than enough to dethrone Nia or, at the very least, kick the Ice Nation out of the Coalition once and for all. Lexa didn’t like it, but the Ice Nation had been against the union since the very first day. They _had_ been the ones causing most of the wars, after all. Lexa could only play nice for so long. If Nia wasn’t disposed of, she would make sure that the Ice Nation would never be able to make an alliance with the other Grounders again as long as she was alive.

Lexa had been foolish to think that all of the Grounder clans would co-exist peacefully in the Coalition she had created. Just because she was in charge, it didn’t mean everyone was going to listen to her. Nia clearly had no respect for her position, and hadn’t since the day she was appointed Commander.

Lexa wouldn’t let it stand.

She let out a shaky breath in anger. The more time she wasted thinking about it, the further they would get away with Clarke, and she wasn’t about to lose anyone else to the Ice Nation.

“I will go alone,” Lexa spoke to Indra through gritted teeth.

As expected, Indra shook her head immediately. “No. Heda, you know that is not an option.”

“You do not make the rules, Indra.” Lexa spoke quickly, deciding to not look at Indra. “I _will_ go alone. I will be faster on my own, I’ll be able to catch up to them before they reach Azgeda territory. If I die, then I die.” She swallowed heavily. She knew it was a bold statement, especially to say in front of Indra. She knew Indra wouldn’t approve of a relationship between her and Clarke.

Indra swallowed her argument. Lexa knew that she knew better than to fight with the Commander. “At least let me follow you. From a distance. If you do not return, at least we can attempt to save you.” She paused for a moment. “Please, heda.”

Indra never pleaded, especially not in front of Lexa. Lexa knew she found it a sign of weakness. Indra was the strong and silent type, but she had known Lexa since she was a little girl. Indra was the closest thing to family that Lexa had now that Anya and Gustus were gone. Even though Lexa would never admit it, what Indra thought mattered to her.

“Okay.” She agreed. “You may follow, but you must not be seen. If they think I am alone, I will have the upper hand. If it looks like I’m trouble, you may step in,” she allowed.

Indra dropped her shoulders, in what Lexa could see was relief. “As you wish.”

Lexa didn’t bother going back to the house, which meant she would be travelling without any sort of armour. All she had was her knife and Indra’s sword which Indra carried at all times. If she happened to get attacked, she would have no protection. She would more than likely be dead before she even got to Clarke. It wasn’t the safest or most responsible way to go about a rescue mission, but Lexa only had a one-track-mind: find Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal was to finish the third chapter before S3 started, because God knows I won't finish the whole thing before the 21st lmao. 
> 
> There are only two more chapters, I have them both planned out, so I'm going to try to write in between chapters of Constellations.


	4. Four

Lexa was a lot of things.

She was stubborn, yet calculating. Blunt, yet honest. Cold, yet caring. Detached, yet passionate. Ruthless, yet gentle. Young, yet wise. All of these things made up who she was. On the outside, she looked to be very black and white. But there was just so much grey on the inside that nobody ever saw.

Except Clarke.

It was grey with Clarke at first, too. Lexa tried to hide and control her feelings as best she could, especially since they were on opposite ends of the spectrum. Or so it seemed. They were two incredibly different people, and really, Clarke was the enemy.

‘Don’t fall for your enemy’ should have been the first lesson taught to her as a child. Wielding two blades at once and mastering the art of stealth were all easier than being in love with Clarke Griffin.

Lexa wished it was uncomplicated. That she could fall in love with someone that made everything easy. Maybe a sweet, quiet girl who had a stall on the streets of Polis. Maybe somebody who reminded her of Costia. Somebody who wasn’t a warrior or a killer. Someone who hadn’t already murdered hundreds of her people before they had even met.

Maybe then she wouldn’t have to be sprinting through the woods at a record pace in order to save Clarke. Actually, she probably would be doing it anyway. Nia was ruthless, regardless of who she had fallen in love with. But this time, Nia wasn’t after Lexa’s secrets. No, she was after blood. She was after Clarke specifically. Clarke being the one Lexa loved would just be a bonus.

Then again, she couldn’t see herself living anybody ever again after Costia. Yet, there was Clarke. Somebody who had just fallen from the sky, and being the leader, she landed herself straight in Lexa’s tent. She remembered the exchange like it had been only yesterday. Lexa had instantly been attracted to her spark. She was a beautiful girl who also happened to be fiercely loyal. She would’ve done anything to forge an alliance that would keep her people safe. Which she did. Realistically, killing Finn saved all of her people, even if she didn’t know it at the time. Lexa wasn’t sure if she was capable of such an act.

If Costia was tied to that pole, she wasn’t sure if she could have made the choice that Clarke did.

She hadn’t spoken about Costia with anyone except Anya before she had told Clarke. Even then, her conversations with Anya had been short. Cut off when it got to the point of talking about Lexa’s feelings. Anya never pushed her, and neither did Clarke, but somehow she spilled everything to Clarke regardless. She felt like she could speak to her openly, like she would never be judged or seen as weak.

After that, it had been hard to keep her feelings for Clarke at bay. She protected her, fought for her, clung to her. When it came time to reveal her feelings, the four words fell out of her mouth as almost a whisper: _‘Not everyone. Not you.’_ She wasn’t going to let anything happen to Clarke. Not ever.

Now it was time for her to make good on that promise.

Lexa knew she was being reckless. At this point, she was barely aware of her surroundings. She had no idea how far she had come, or how close she was to Ice Nation territory. She had left her horse on the border of the Ice Nation; she knew the sound would bring too much attention to herself. She had been following the tracks left behind by the Ice Nation as best she could, and she hadn’t lost them so far, so she knew she was on the right path.

She knew this was the kind of thinking that got people killed. Having a one-track-mind with no real plan set in place. But she couldn’t sit around a table with her Generals and think of a plan to get Clarke back. Truthfully, none of her other warriors owed anything to Clarke. She wasn’t one of their people, not technically, so asking her men to go out with her to save Clarke wouldn’t have been her best call as Commander. She knew somebody would question her leadership over that move. Going alone was the only option she had.

But she couldn’t let what happened to Costia happen to Clarke. Nia had no reason to keep her alive. She didn’t just want to eliminate her, but she wanted to be known as the one who killed the person who destroyed Mount Weather. That would instantly make _her_ the most feared and respected person in their community.

Making Lexa suffer would just be a bonus to the Ice Queen.

She followed the tracks for miles, and even in the dark, Lexa kept up her pursuit. She wasn’t sure if Indra and the warriors she had been able to recruit would be able to keep up at the pace she was going.

Whoever these Ice Nation warriors were, they weren’t bothering to cover their tracks, which made Lexa think that they didn’t care if they were followed. They may have been planning to kill Clarke as quickly as possible. That thought only made Lexa move faster.

At this point, it was pitch black and her legs were burning. She knew she was moving in the right direction, but she wasn’t sure how Clarke’s captors had gotten so far ahead. She had been following them for hours, and she was sure they hadn’t captured her too long before they had found Lexa’s dead guard. They were quicker than she originally thought, which made Lexa think that there were less of them. If there was a large group, they would be moving much slower. Factoring in that they probably were carrying Clarke with them, Lexa’s calculations told her that it wouldn’t be too much further.

Lexa wasn’t sure how long she had been travelling when she finally heard something. It was late at night; it could have even been close to dawn. Either way, it didn’t matter to her. She knew she was moving north because the temperature was dropping every hour. She had to find Clarke quickly; she didn’t want her ending up in the main part of the Ice Nation territory. Azgeda had their own capital city within their territory. It was where the Queen spent most of her time, she only very rarely came to Polis. She was sure Nia was just sitting on her throne right now awaiting Clarke’s arrival.

Once Clarke had entered her head again, her adrenaline levels had risen once more. And once she began to smell smoke, she knew she was almost there.

As expected, the Ice Nation warriors had set up a camp for the night deep in the woods. They probably figured they were safe because they were bordering Ice Nation territory. Clearly they hadn’t been expecting somebody to come after Clarke so quickly, and clearly, these weren’t Nia’s most intelligent warriors.

It was almost insulting to Lexa that Nia hadn’t sent her best warriors for Clarke.

Lexa could hear voices before she saw anyone. There was at least a few distinct voices that Lexa could make out, at least one female and two males. It didn’t sound like the biggest party of people, but there were at least more than one of them that she needed to take care of somehow.

She needed a better vantage point.

It took her a long time to reach higher ground without being seen or heard. She could tell there was only a thin layer of bushes between her and whoever was on the other side. She was yet to see who it was and if they even had Clarke at all, but she had to take the chance regardless. Her steps were incredibly slow, and it was times like these that she thanked the Gods that she was so slim and light. Everyone tended to underestimate her due to her size, and she always used it to her advantage.

That was something Anya had taught her.

Anya had also taught her to fight for what she believed in. Lexa believed in a lasting peace between everyone on the ground, including the Sky People. Even if Clarke wasn’t technically one of ‘her people’, that wouldn’t stop her from trying to protect her at all costs. She wanted this alliance to work, and she wanted this peace to last.

Once she reached the higher ground, it gave her the opportunity to peek through the thin shrubbery to look at the scene below her. Thankfully, she had chosen a spot on a rock face, where she was able to look down. The only reason anybody would spot her was if they were purposely looking in her direction, which was very unlikely.

Lexa scanned the area quickly, spotting the three voices she had heard on her way to their temporary campsite. They had set up camp beside the rock face, and from what Lexa could tell, there were only three of them. There was a fire in the centre of the campground, and there were tents surrounding it. Lexa could hear the sound of horses, but she couldn’t see them.

It was then that she spotted something up against one of the trees. It wasn’t too close to the Ice Nation soldiers, but it was close enough to receive warmth from the fire.

A mess of blonde hair that was all too familiar to Lexa.

That very same mess of blonde hair she had woken up to just hours ago.

Her head was hung low, and her hands appeared to be tied behind her back. Lexa wasn’t sure if she was dead or just passed out. She didn’t understand why Nia would want Clarke’s dead body though, so she had to have hope that she was still breathing.

Her shirt was covered in blood, which Lexa feared to be her own. From what she could see of Clarke’s arms, there were deep cuts and bruises up and down them that she certainly _didn’t_ have that morning. It looked like somebody had continuously taken swings at her, with both fists and knives, until she was completely beat up.

The thought made Lexa’s blood boil.

She had until dawn to figure out a strategy, and she quietly waited, biding her time until the opportunity arose.

\------

Clarke couldn’t even open both of her eyes at this point. She didn’t remember too much of what happened, only that she had been taken out of Polis by what she presumed to be Ice Nation. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to fight them off. After all this time on the ground, she knew barely anything about fighting, and the Ice Nation warriors were particularly ruthless, according to Lexa. She didn’t know what they wanted with her, but she had a feeling it had something to do with their Ice Queen.

The same Ice Queen that was essentially the sworn enemy of Lexa.

Clarke was sure that wasn’t a coincidence.

Either way, the Ice Nation warriors who had captured her had decided to beat her to a pulp for a reason that escaped her. She remembered blood spurting out of her nose, leaking out of her mouth, and the large cuts left on her arms had been left to ooze into her shirt. She had lost too much blood to even think straight anymore. They were keeping her on the brink of consciousness, probably just so she could suffer even more.

All she could do was wait, and hope that somebody noticed she was gone in time.

(But she wasn’t sure what the likelihood of that happening was.)

While she waited, she listened. The Ice Nation soldiers revealed a lot more than she thought they would. Clearly, they didn’t think she had a chance in hell of escaping. They were probably right; she was too weak to even lift her head, after all.

Clarke had learned from her captors that the Ice Queen was planning to march on Polis in order to take over the city, forcing everyone to become Ice Nation and form under one flag. The coalition that Lexa had worked so hard for would be no more, and Queen Nia would rule over everyone and everything. That would not only mean the end for Lexa, but it would more than likely mean the end of the Sky People too.

This information would be useless to Clarke if she didn’t escape, so she tried her best to remember every single word of it in the hopes that somebody rescued her.

She hated relying on others to rescue her. It frustrated her that she couldn’t rescue herself.

Though, she had managed a small victory for herself. Once the Ice Nation warriors had finished their fun, they all retired to the campfire, deciding to completely ignore her and talk openly. This gave Clarke a lot of time to work on her escape plan. She knew she would barely be able to walk at this point, but if she had just regained some of her energy, then once they were asleep, maybe she could slip away.

She had already managed to free her hands without her guards noticing. It took hours, and her arms received a hefty workout, but she managed to break the rope that was holding her hands in place. She kept her arms behind her back though, just to keep up the illusion she was still trapped.

She would be patient and wait for the right moment, when she had a decent amount of energy. That’s what Lexa would do.

Thinking of Lexa made her feel sick. She didn’t know if Lexa would even think about coming after her or not. She knew she shouldn’t worry about things like that, since Lexa had no obligation to help her whatsoever, but a very large part of her hoped that she would anyway. She would’ve given anything to see Lexa’s face in that moment. Lexa’s presence had always calmed her, and she was always a voice of reason. If Lexa was there, she would’ve known what to do.

Clarke hoped that she broke the rules just this once.

Clarke knew that her plan of regaining energy naturally was not going to work. She had lost too much blood, and she would need a healer if she had any chance of escaping on her own. She was beginning to lose hope, and she was sure that the sun would be rising at any moment, which would mean her and her captors would continue on their way to the Ice Nation.

At some point during the night, Clarke had lowered her head in an attempt to get some rest. She dozed off, and it was the first time in hours that she hadn’t felt any pain. Maybe she was beginning to lose her fight. There was only so much she could do, and her Ice Nation guards were watching her like hawks. Even if she could stand up, she wouldn’t get three feet before being tackled.

When she looked back on this moment, she thought it was just the way stories were told. Just when the protagonist was losing hope, somebody swoops in and saves the day. At least, that was what she had read about as a child. She didn’t truly believe that things like that happened.

But they did.

Sometimes.

The biggest Ice Nation warrior went down first. Clarke lifted her head as best she could, but all she could see was the man grunt and then fall back onto the ground. The other two warriors looked around wildly to see what had caused it. From where Clarke was sitting, she could see something small sticking out the man’s chest.

A knife.

A knife that had been thrown with pinpoint accuracy from a distance.

Many Grounders were probably capable of that, but she only knew one who cared enough about her to come this far.

\------

Lexa made quick work of the Ice Nation soldiers.

She had a feeling that Indra was a long way behind her, otherwise they would have caught up and stepped in. Lexa had been moving too fast for them in her attempt to catch up with Clarke. Now that she had, she felt like an entire weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Especially now that she could see Clarke was still alive and moving.

She swiftly threw her knife into the first warrior, before jumping off the rock face and taking care of the other two with Indra’s sword. They barely had time to defend themselves, or even see the face of their killer, before falling to the ground in a bloody heap. Lexa retrieved her knife before heading straight over to where Clarke was.

Lexa dropped to her knees in front of Clarke, using her hands to lift Clarke’s face to look at her. She was weak, and her eyelids were heavy. One eye was almost completely swollen shut, and there were multiple cuts not only on her face, but down her arms too. Lexa’s thumb brushed soothingly along Clarke’s skin, and she could feel a huge sense of relief filling every inch of her body.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke,” Lexa whispered quietly, holding her head upright. “What did they do to you…?” She murmured softly, her thumb tracing a deep cut across Clarke’s cheek.

Lexa could see Clarke’s eyes filling with tears, and Lexa stayed completely silent, wiping them away patiently as they rolled down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to take all the pain away, physical or otherwise, and place it on herself.  

Lexa closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against Clarke’s. “I was so afraid that something had happened to you. You weren’t moving. It frustrated me that I couldn’t see if you were okay.” She paused for a moment before leaning back to look at Clarke again. “She will pay for this. I will make sure of it.”

Clarke shook her head, mumbling something unintelligible to Lexa.

“We should get going.” Lexa’s voice was gentle as she continued to caress Clarke’s face. “We’re in Ice Nation territory and it’s not safe.”

“You… You killed them,” Clarke finally whispered. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes had widened as she looked around the campsite. Everything that she had been staring at for hours was now completely coated with blood.

Lexa swallowed hard, trying her best to remain stoic. She knew how Clarke felt about death after Mount Weather, especially unnecessary death. “It had to be done.”

“No…” Clarke whispered quickly, grabbing on to Lexa’s hand. “You misunderstand. Thank you.”

Lexa gave Clarke a soft smile in return. “I need to get you free.”

Clarke shook her head again. She groaned quietly as she lifted both of her arms from behind her back, the rope that was holding them together falling uselessly onto the ground.

The bright smile that broke out on Lexa’s face was unlike anything Clarke had ever seen before. A Lexa smile with teeth was something Clarke chose to never forget. “You broke free yourself,” she spoke quietly, her hand tucking stray hair behind Clarke’s ear. “Full of surprises as always, Clarke of the Sky People.”

Clarke let out a quiet hum of acknowledgement. “I was just waiting for someone to take them out.” She chuckled, her voice sounding weaker by the word. “And here you are.”

“Here I am,” Lexa echoed, the smile on her face brief. She looked around, spying the horses that the Ice Nation soldiers had left behind. She had left her own horse at the border, so she definitely wouldn’t be able to get Clarke back there by herself. “We need to get on a horse. I am not sure I will be able to carry you.”

“You know, I don’t approve of you coming here by yourself. You could’ve been killed.” Clarke murmured, her eyes fluttering.

“I am not here by myself.” Lexa shook her head, watching Clarke with concern. “Indra should be along any minute now.”

“Indra…” Clarke smiled lazily. “I knew she cared.”

Lexa laughed quietly, but her face quickly fell as soon as she realised Clarke was losing consciousness. “Clarke?” She asked quickly, her voice raising an octave in panic. “Clarke?” She shook her shoulders slightly, but she didn’t stir. “Ugh, _Clarke_.” She muttered, her frustration now masking the panic in her voice. She wasn’t going to be able to get Clarke to the horse if she was unconscious.

All Lexa could do was wait for Indra, and hope that she made it in time before Clarke bled out all over the ground.

\------

The next time Clarke woke, she was in a bed.

She woke suddenly, her entire body jerking upright, causing her limbs to scream out in pain at the sudden movement. She let out a broken cry, clutching her abdomen as she tried her best to take in her surroundings without panicking.

It certainly _looked_ like a Grounder medical facility. Whether it was in Polis or in Ice Nation territory remained to be seen. Her memory of the day was clouded, and she could only remember a few things after the Ice Nation soldiers had taken her. She remembered them talking about their plans, because she had tried so hard to drill it into her head before she passed out. She remembered being tied to a tree while they had started a fire and set up their tents. She had slipped in and out of consciousness a lot after that, only waking fully when she heard the first Ice Nation warrior fall.

 _Lexa_.

She remembered Lexa. At least, she thought it was Lexa. There was a very good chance she could have made it all up in her head. She _hoped_ it was Lexa. It was the only person she wanted to see.

She looked around the room more, hoping to discover more clues about her location. Yet, she didn’t know enough about each individual Grounder clan to come to a specific conclusion. She prayed that the Ice Nation hadn’t gotten to Lexa, too. If that were the case, she would already be dead, and it would be all Clarke’s fault.

Clarke decided to be daring. If she was with the Ice Nation, then they would know she was bound to wake up soon. Either way, she would soon be killed or captured.

“Lexa?” She called out tentatively, and it was then she realised that her voice was hoarse. She shouldn’t have been too surprised; she was out in the cold all night with barely any protection. The Ice Nation warriors hadn’t cared too much about her wellbeing. She tried again, louder this time. “Lexa?”

Clarke could hear the quick shuffling of feet on the other side of the wall. She sat up straighter, looking around the room wildly to see if there was anything she could use to defend herself. She may not have thought through this plan as well as she thought.

To her immense relief, it was Lexa who appeared in the doorway. As soon as Lexa laid eyes on Clarke, it looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. Lexa moved over to the bed before dropping to sit on the edge. She immediately lifted her hand, dragging her fingers across Clarke’s cheek lightly.

“I was worried,” Lexa murmured softly.

Clarke reached up to take Lexa’s hand in hers. She brought it over to her lap where she played with the Commander’s fingers as she spoke. “I’m okay. Are you okay? How did we even get back?”

“I’m fine,” Lexa reassured her. “I was right about Indra. She wasn’t too far behind us. When she caught up to us, she helped you on to a horse and we rode back.” She paused for a moment, searching Clarke’s eyes. “I am not surprised you don’t remember. You were in and out of consciousness the whole time.”

Clarke sighed. “I wanted to tell you… about the Ice Nation, but I passed out before I could say anything.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes. “What about the Ice Nation?”

“The Queen plans to take over Polis,” Clarke spoke hurriedly. “She wants to destroy the Coalition and have everyone marching under one flag. Killing me was just a distraction they were going to use on you. She must know about… us. Somehow. Or, at least she knew about the alliance we once had. She knew that hurting me would hurt you, and she must still think I’m my people’s leader. She wants to eliminate the Sky People as a potential threat.”

Lexa bit her lower lip worriedly. “I suppose we have not been the most subtle while here in Polis. I should have known this would happen.”

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand. “It’s not your fault, Lexa. I think you rescuing me delayed them for a little while, but you have to be prepared.”

Lexa nodded, moving to rise up from the bed. “I will call a meeting. I do not like being on the defensive, but it is our only option.”

“Wait,” Clarke said quickly, reaching out to grab Lexa’s hand before she was out of reach. “I want to be involved, Lexa. I want to help.”

Lexa shook her head. “No, Clarke. You were almost killed because of me. You are a target, and I will not be putting you in unnecessary danger.”

“Lexa,” Clarke said seriously. “You _need_ me.”

Lexa sighed, moving back over to where Clarke was. She sat down on the edge of the bed again, trying her best to formulate a proper answer for Clarke. She lifted her hand, gently caressing Clarke’s cheek. “I do need you, Clarke. But not in the way that you’re thinking.”

Clarke felt her heart drop into her stomach. No matter what Lexa said to her, it always managed to consume her entirely. Lexa was very blunt when it came to sharing her feelings, and every time it managed to get a reaction out of Clarke.

“I won’t lose you,” Lexa murmured. Her voice was soft, but her vow was strong.

“And you won’t,” Clarke promised, and she wholeheartedly meant it. “You know I can help you. You were only just telling me that you wished to form another alliance between our people again. Let me give that to you.”

“I did not think we would be going to war again so soon, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, and it was clear the weakness in her voice was unintentional. “If I lose another person to the Ice Nation, I know that it will destroy me.”

Clarke didn’t reply, instead choosing to lean forward and place a sound kiss on Lexa’s lips. It was a promise, a reassurance that she would do her best to stay alive for Lexa. The last thing she wanted to do was be the cause of any more of Lexa’s pain. Lexa melted into the kiss, extending it for longer than Clarke had originally intended. Her fingers tangled in the base of Clarke’s hair, and Clarke revelled in the feeling for as long as she possibly could.

In this world, there were very few moments of pure bliss, but Lexa was always able to make them happen for her.

“Let me join you,” Clarke tried again, her voice soft. “Let me help you.”

“Okay,” Lexa closed her eyes and nodded. Clarke could tell the admission was incredibly difficult for her. “Okay.”

\------

After Lexa had left to call her emergency meeting, Clarke was visited by two Grounder healers. She stayed silent as they checked her wounds, which Clarke hadn’t really thought much about since she had seen Lexa’s face again. She remembered there being a lot of blood, and she snuck a few quick glances down to her arms where long, deep cuts now resided. Her face ached, and she was sure she remembered being beaten by the Ice Nation warriors.

No wonder Lexa had killed them so mercilessly. She didn’t even try to capture them as prisoners.

Clarke had been told by the healers that Lexa would come by later and take her home. Clarke was more than capable of walking, but she thought that she’d better respect Lexa’s wishes this time. Clearly Lexa didn’t want her wandering around on the streets after what happened the last time.

So she waited patiently until Lexa returned. She caught up on sleep, and even had a try standing up on her own. She was a bit wobbly on her feet, but once she held on to something, she was fine. She was sure it was just hunger and exhaustion taking over, and the fact that her entire body ached from being hit repeatedly.

Lexa didn’t take too long, but she returned looking even more stressed than she had been before. Clarke wanted to ask, but not while they were in public. She knew Lexa didn’t need the added anxiety of someone overhearing them and then spreading rumours. Clarke was beginning to learn things about Polis; like how its people picked up on weakness like a moth to a flame.

When Lexa returned to Clarke’s room, Clarke was standing, and the sight immediately put a smile on Lexa’s face. “It's good to see you up.”

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled softly. “I had to do _something_ while I was waiting for to come and get me.”

Lexa frowned slightly. “I’m sorry. I do not want you walking around out there on your own. Until everything with the Ice Nation is over, the streets are not safe for you.”

“It’s okay, Lexa. I understand.” Clarke nodded. And she did. Usually she would argue with Lexa about it, but Lexa had been through too much already.  If Clarke was in her position, she would want the same thing for her. She knew it was hard being in Lexa’s position, especially having so many people to protect. So, Clarke decided to make it as easy as possible for her.

“We should get you back,” Lexa decided. “You need more rest.”

“What about what we talked about earlier…?” Clarke asked.

Lexa sighed. “It looks like we will be going to war. The Ice Nation has defected from the Coalition. The Queen’s army marching against Polis is a direct violation of the treaty. We have no choice but to protect the city. We are not sure how many of the remaining eleven clans will be able to get here in time. We might have to deal with what we already have here.”

“And what about my people?”

“Well…” Lexa started. “We could have eleven clans united against the Ice Nation, or we could have twelve.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You and your people could join the Coalition, Clarke.” Lexa spoke confidently. “Not only would it help us, but your people would be safe because of it. I could keep you safe, Clarke. I would never need to make a choice like I did at Mount Weather ever again.”

Clarke’s lips twitched slightly at her words. “You don’t need to protect me.” Her face then fell. “I don’t want you to be distracted by me. The people of Polis need their Commander right now.”

“I do not want you to join the Coalition just to put me at ease, Clarke. I want it to be what you want as well,” Lexa insisted. “I don’t want you to feel like this decision will decide the fate of your people. I only want you to consider it if you _want_ it.”

“I do want it,” Clarke whispered, looking directly at Lexa. “I want it and I want _us_ and I want everything that goes with it. I want peace… and I want stability.”

Lexa stepped forward, placing her hand on Clarke’s cheek. “I can give that to you. To _all_ of you. Winning this war would be everything, Clarke. We could enter an era of peace that has not existed in our world for a very long time.”

Clarke swallowed heavily as she looked at Lexa. Everything and _everyone_ they’d lost led up to moments like this. A promise of lasting peace for everyone. Not only that, but a chance at happiness for both her and Lexa. Clarke didn’t know that it was what she wanted more than anything until Lexa had suggested it.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

Lexa nodded. “Of course. We do not have time to fully initiate you, but if you gave me your word, then others might follow in your stead. Your people trust you, Clarke.”

“I… I abandoned them,” Clarke murmured. “I don’t think they trust me so much anymore.”

“They will once they know the plan for peace. I believe it wholeheartedly.” Lexa nodded with confidence.

Clarke sighed, suddenly feeling that weight-of-the-world feeling on her shoulders again. She hoped that after all of this was over, she could finally know what relaxation feels like again. “Okay… then I’m in.”

“Good,” Lexa smiled softly. “Because Indra is already on her way to collect your people.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? Which people?”

“As many as she can gather. I think many of them will come once they know it is you who asked for them,” Lexa explained. “Plus, I wish to speak to Marcus. I strongly believe that he has taken a leadership role in your absence.”

Clarke had thought of her people often in the weeks that had passed since leaving Camp Jaha. She thought a lot about what she would say to them if she were ever reunited with them. What would she say to her mother? How would she face the likes of Bellamy and Raven again? Would Jasper even speak to her? Despite having all of these thoughts, she never actually thought she would face them again. Not for a long time.

She couldn’t be mad at Lexa for inviting them to Polis without her permission. If she was to join the Coalition, she would need as many of her people on board as possible. That was the whole idea, after all.

Clarke’s mouth felt dry. “I… I don’t know what to say. How do I face them again after everything?”

“With me by your side,” Lexa promised, giving her a reassuring nod. “You will not have to do this alone.”

Clarke wasn’t sure she could ever be more thankful for Lexa after she had shown up to save her from the Ice Nation warriors, but she may have just outdone herself.

\------

As soon as Lexa had gotten Clarke back to her house, she insisted on getting her back into bed.

Clarke bit back the joke she wanted to make about _that_ particular subject.

Despite hating the idea of staying in bed, Clarke did what she was told, and was a good patient. Lexa was in and out of the house all day, presumably going to meetings to discuss the upcoming battle. They didn’t know how far away the Ice Nation were, so they had to be prepared. As soon as the Queen realised that Clarke had escaped capture, she would want to march as soon as possible to catch them off guard. What the Queen _didn’t_ know, though, was that Clarke’s captors had big mouths, and hadn’t realised that telling Clarke their plans was the worst idea they could’ve possibly had.

The Queen didn’t know that Clarke knew, and that would be their advantage.

Clarke didn’t think that it was possible for Lexa to be even more stressed than she already was, but she was proven wrong once the Commander had returned to the house for the final time that evening.

Clarke was sitting up in bed, suddenly feeling very guilty that she had stayed in Lexa’s room all day and had done nothing to help out. Not that Lexa would have let her if she tried.

“You look like you need a back massage,” Clarke commented, watching Lexa move across the room in a rush.

Lexa turned towards her. “Are you offering, Clarke?” She asked, her lips turning upwards in a playful smile for a brief moment.

Clarke’s returning smile was completely innocent. “Maybe later. For now, I want to show you something.”

She beckoned Lexa over to her, and once the brunette was standing by the bed, Clarke lifted up what she had been working on all day. While Lexa was out, she had managed to grab the art supplies Lexa had brought for her into the bedroom. She decided that if she was to be in bed all day, she shouldn’t be _completely_ bored out of her mind. Plus, it had been a very long time since she had drawn anything.

Lexa studied the drawing for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured, her fingers tracing over the paper. “What is it?”

“It’s what I want tattooed,” Clarke explained slowly, looking up at Lexa.

Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed even more. “Wait… Did I hear you correctly?”

“I’m going to be initiated as the leader of a clan, right?” Clarke continued. “So I should at least _look_ like I belong there.”

“Clarke…” Lexa smiled gently. “You don’t _have_ to get a tattoo to be one of us.”

“I know I don’t, but I want one. As long as I’m allowed, of course.”

“Of course you’re allowed. This is _my_ Coalition, after all. There are no rules for or against that.” Lexa smiled. “Are you sure you are prepared for this? It’s no secret that it is a painful experience. I’m assuming this is a design for a back tattoo, and those hurt the most. At least, it did for me.”

Clarke shrugged. “I’ve survived worse.”

Lexa thought for a moment. “Yes, I suppose you have. What does it mean?”

“Well… what does it to look like you?” Clarke asked, watching Lexa’s face scrunch up in thought before she answered.

“It looks like… a constellation.” Lexa’s voice was quiet. “Something you would see amongst the stars, but it has leaves and vines surrounding it.”

“Living in space, naturally you learn all about the stars and constellations,” Clarke explained as she looked down at the page. “You learn about what people on the ground see when they look up into the sky. This particular one is known as Ara, and in mythology, it represents the altar where the gods formed an alliance before going to war with the enemy. Upon the victory of the gods, the altar was placed in the sky, so that it would always be seen by those who looked into the stars.”

Lexa’s eyes softened as the meaning of the design sunk in. At first, she had been embarrassed when she showed Clarke her tattoo that symbolised the alliance. A part of her thought she wouldn’t understand, but she had underestimated her. She sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to rein in her emotions. “Clarke…” She murmured softly, her eyes trained directly on hers.

Once Clarke realised that Lexa was lost for words, she continued. “Since the altar is in the sky, the leaves and vines are to symbolise earth. Therefore, it is the union of both the sky and the earth. Fitting, don’t you think?”

Clarke didn’t realise Lexa was crying until a single teardrop fell on her work. Clarke’s head snapped up immediately to look at Lexa, her mouth falling open slightly. Clarke had never seen Lexa cry before, and at first, she wasn’t quite sure how to react. She suddenly looked a lot younger. The young girl that Lexa built up her walls to protect was breaking through, and Lexa wasn’t even attempting to hold her back.

“Hey…” Clarke murmured softly, placing her hand gently on Lexa’s arm. She angled her body so that she was directly facing Lexa. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. Look at me…” Her voice was quiet as she coaxed the brunette’s eyes to meet hers.

Lexa lifted her head only slightly, clearly ashamed of being caught crying. Still, she didn’t shy away from Clarke’s comforting touch.

Clarke lifted her hand to Lexa’s cheek slowly, her thumb catching the tears as they fell. “If this upsets you, then I won’t get it done.” Although it had shocked her at first, Clarke quickly realised that there was nothing she hated more than seeing Lexa cry. When Lexa averted her gaze, Clarke’s free hand came to rest on Lexa’s other cheek. “Lexa…”

“No…” Lexa murmured, shaking her head only slightly. “It doesn’t upset me, Clarke. At all. It truly is a beautiful design.” She paused for a moment, her eyes watery as she looked at Clarke again. “It has been a very long time since I’ve felt this way. I just feel… overwhelmed. By you. By all of it.”

Clarke kept her hands where they were, forcing Lexa to look at her while she spoke. “Let yourself give into the feeling, Lexa. I feel it every single time I look at you, and I know it’s harder for you than it is for me, but you’re safe with me. Your feelings are safe with me.”

Lexa chewed on her lower lip, clearly debating within herself about what to do. She had spent years shutting down all emotions after Costia, and once she became Commander, it made even more sense for her to be less expressive. She hardened herself, and she thought it was going well, until she met Clarke. Clarke unknowingly opened her back up, but that also meant her wounds were open too. She didn’t want to hurt the way she had with Costia ever again.

But loving Clarke was even harder for her than loving Costia. Clarke was even more of a target than Costia ever was. Nia didn’t even know what Clarke meant to Lexa, and she was still after her for her own personal reasons.

Despite all of the thoughts that continually resurfaced, she couldn’t keep pushing away her feelings for Clarke. Not only was it unhealthy for her, but she didn’t _want_ to do it anymore. She knew she deserved happiness, in whatever form the universe would give it to her. Clarke made her feel worthy of it, and she would do anything she could to keep it.

“You should go and get it,” Lexa spoke suddenly, wiping the remaining tears away from her eyes.

“The tattoo?” Clarke narrowed her eyes. “ _Tonight_?”

Lexa nodded. “I know someone. The person who is responsible for all of my tattoos.” She reached for Clarke’s hand. “Something that special should not wait, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled. Although she could tell Lexa wasn’t completely okay after her small breakdown, Clarke wasn’t going to push her on it. When she was ready to talk about her feelings again, then she would.

\------

The woman Lexa introduced her to was not who Clarke was expecting.

The Commander had dragged her through the streets of Polis rather hurriedly, holding tightly on to her hand. For good reason, Clarke assumed, because she didn’t want a repeat of the last time Clarke had been wandering out on her own. Clarke indulged her, however, since this may be the last stress-free night that Lexa got to have for a little while.

Clarke lived for any moment where she got to see Lexa relax. Even if it was only for a moment.

The woman that Lexa had dragged her to see lived in a small hut. The hut was unrecognisable amongst the other identical huts alongside it, unless you knew whose house it was. Clearly, Lexa knew, and once the door opened, the small woman on the other side wrapped Lexa in a hug almost immediately. Clarke was completely taken aback, opting to stand in the doorway and wait for somebody to speak

“Clarke, this is Sierra,” Lexa introduced her once the woman released her. “She was a friend of my family.”

Clarke turned towards Lexa with a raised eyebrow. Lexa had never mentioned her family to Clarke before. She knew Gustus and Anya were like her family, but that was the closest she had ever gotten. Clarke had just assumed that her real family was another sore spot that she didn’t want to touch upon, but this time, she was pleasantly surprised.

“I still am a friend of your family, yongon,” Sierra teased, ushering the two of them inside.

Sierra was bordering on elderly; her hair was greying slightly and she was incredibly small in stature. Multiple tattoos peeked out from under her clothes, more than she had ever seen on a Grounder before, and Clarke knew exactly why Lexa had brought her there. Her voice was kind, and Clarke couldn’t help watch Lexa’s reaction to her words.

“Sierra, this is Clarke.”

“Of the Sky,” Sierra spoke solemnly. She reached forward to clasp one of Clarke’s hands between her own. “Both my husband and son were victims of the Mountain. They were both Trikru warriors, under Lexa’s command.”

Clarke watched Lexa’s mouth form into a hard line. It was clear that she felt guilty about what had happened to Sierra’s family. “I’m sorry…” She murmured.

“You defeated the Mountain. It is all we could have asked for.” Sierra gave her a meaningful look, but it vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. “But I know that is not what you came here for.” She turned towards Lexa and raised her eyebrow, and Clarke was thankful for the change in subject.

Lexa seemed different around Sierra, and Clarke tried to hide her smile, but she really couldn’t. “No, it isn’t. Actually, Clarke has a request.”

“I have heard whisperings that a war is approaching,” Sierra said, looking at Clarke. “Does that have anything to do with you?”

Clarke swallowed heavily, but nodded. “Yes. I wish to join Lexa’s Coalition.”

Sierra nodded in acceptance. “A wise move. Lexa is the smartest Commander I have seen in my lifetime. No matter how old or strong her predecessors may have been, they never would have been able to unite the clans the way she has.”

Clarke turned towards Lexa just in time to see that the brunette ducking her head in embarrassment. “I only do what is necessary, Sierra.”

“Your nomon would be proud of you, yongon,” Sierra told Lexa with conviction, and Clarke could see Lexa swallow heavily, her back straightening. Clarke didn’t pry, but it was clear Sierra was talking about Lexa’s family again. She desperately wanted to know more, but she firmly believed that they would have the time to talk about it, if Lexa ever wanted to. Besides, Sierra seemed to be adept at changing the subject. “So, show me the design.”

Clarke handed over the paper she had drawn her design on, and Sierra nodded along as she studied it closely.

“I am responsible for all of Lexa’s tattoos. All except for _that_ one,” she tutted playfully with a soft smile on her face. Clarke knew she was talking about the tattoo Lexa shared with Costia, and it made her wonder just how well Sierra had known Lexa’s former lover. Clarke had always been curious about Costia, but was respectful enough to not bring her up to Lexa. It was then that Clarke realised that Sierra must have been the one at the ceremony who had tattooed Lexa. “You should be glad Lexa decided to bring you to me, instead of choosing to do it herself.”

“Both you and Anya never let me live down my youthful indiscretion,” Lexa replied with a soft laugh. Clarke had never seen her approach the topic of her deceased loved ones so openly in front of anyone before, and it was fascinating to watch.

“It was a _disaster_ , yongon.” Sierra tutted again, shaking her head with a smile. “Your punishment will be to hold this poor girl’s hand while she experiences the pain of her first.” Taking the design with her, she beckoned both Lexa and Clarke into her back room. “Come.”

Once they entered the next room, Clarke discovered that it was where everything happened. A covered tray sat on one side of the room, probably the very same tray that was brought out during Lexa’s ceremony. A long bench-like object sat in the middle of the room, and Sierra ushered her over there so she could lie on it. Clarke removed her shirt and placed it on one of the tables off to the side.

Sierra directed her to lie face down on the bench, and she did so quietly. She could feel Lexa’s eyes watching her the entire time, and she was sure it had to do with something more than just Clarke being shirtless. “What are you thinking about?” She asked Lexa once she was lying down, tilting her head to the side as Lexa brought a chair over to sit beside her.

“It will be strange seeing you with a tattoo. Your skin is so… clear. Smooth.” Lexa spoke, dropping her voice on the last word.

Clarke smiled. “You do remember that it was _your_ idea to do this tonight, right? You can’t say that you don’t approve now.”

“Oh, no, I certainly approve,” Lexa murmured. Clarke didn’t miss the unsubtle way her eyes dragged across the expanse of bare skin. “It will just take some getting used to. That’s all.”

“Mhm,” Clarke replied, rolling her eyes at the Commander. She continued to watch Lexa as Sierra broke the silence once more. The older woman directed her attention towards Lexa and begun speaking in Trigedasleng.

“Yu hod in em,” the older woman told Lexa, giving her a meaningful look.

Lexa looked away from both of them. “Yu nou get in.”

“Ai get in _yu_ ,” Sierra replied, her knowing gaze was powerful. “Nou teik em laksen yu.”

“Nowe.” Lexa shook her head quickly. “Ai wich in em. Em ste eting.”

“Hod in nodotaim, Leksa. Ste yuj.”

Lexa could only nod at that statement, a hint of a smile gracing her features.

Clarke watched the exchange with interest, as best she could from the angle she was at. She could pick up a few words here and there, but she was nowhere near an expert on the language. After the war was over, she would have to learn. She would make sure that Lexa taught her.

Clarke’s mind was swimming with the possibilities of what could happen after the war, and she was too preoccupied to realise that Sierra was just about ready to do her tattoo. She was holding the needle in one hand, and a large bowl, presumably filled with ink, in the other.

Clarke turned back towards Lexa. “How much is this going to hurt?”

“There is a very sharp needle involved, Clarke. I think you can come to the conclusion yourself,” Lexa teased, raising an eyebrow.

Clarke certainly appreciated her trying to lighten the mood. She shuffled slightly so that she could hold out her hand, offering it to Lexa. Clarke didn’t need to say anything before the brunette took it in hers, giving it a tight squeeze. She wasn’t one hundred percent clear on the actual procedure of getting a tattoo, so a part of her was glad it was on her back so she wouldn’t be able to see.

Regardless, Clarke closed her eyes, taking comfort in the fact that this was going to lead to good things. It had to. With a war looming ahead, Clarke knew the future was clouded. Becoming a part of Lexa’s Coalition, an alliance that was stronger than the one they previously had, _had_ to be a good thing.

She wouldn’t lose this war, she wouldn't lose her people, and she wouldn’t lose this love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who read Constellations, I really just want to finish this fic before episode 304 airs, so I might put Constellations on hold for a bit while I finish this off. Only one chapter to go anyways!
> 
> Also, Lexa still lives in a house, despite canon saying otherwise lmao.
> 
> And here are some (very) rough Trigedasleng translations:
> 
> \- Yongon. = Child/Young one.  
> \- Nomon. = Mother.  
> \- Yu hod in em. = You love her.  
> \- Yu nou get in. = You do not know.  
> \- Ai get in yu. = I know you.  
> \- Nou teik em laksen yu. = Don’t let her hurt you.  
> \- Nowe. = Never.  
> \- Ai wich in em. = I trust her.  
> \- Em ste eting. = She is everything.  
> \- Hod in nodotaim. Ste yuj. = Love again, Lexa. Be strong.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard to get this out before 3x04 aired, so forgive me if there are any mistakes.
> 
> Also, I didn't realise how graphically violent this was. Blood trigger warning, for sure.

Clarke woke lying on her stomach, with her head buried in the furs of the bed. She groaned uncomfortably, trying her best to roll over. She was only halfway through achieving her goal when her lower back was met with a hand. She groaned again, louder this time, as she flopped back onto her stomach. She turned her head, glaring in irritation at Lexa.

“You know you aren’t allowed to be on your back,” Lexa spoke flatly, like it was the fiftieth time she had said it to Clarke.

It may have been the fifty-first time. “It’s been three whole days, Lexa. It isn’t even hurting as much now.”

“It’s a _wound_ , Clarke. It needs to heal.” Lexa sighed heavily. “I don’t have time to argue with you about this. I have a meeting to get to.”

“Another one?” Clarke asked, her face falling.

Lexa nodded solemnly. “According to our scouts, the Ice Nation soldiers have begun to march, and your people should be here this morning. I have to prepare.”

Clarke’s stomach instantly twisted in knots. She had tried to push the thought of her people coming to Polis out of her mind, but Lexa kept bringing it up. She wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to face them. She didn’t even know which ones were going to show up.

Noticing Clarke’s expression, Lexa frowned. “Stop worrying, Clarke. Just think of your mother. She will be so happy to see you. She loves you, no matter what you have or have not done. You are very lucky.”

Clarke smiled slightly at the thought of her mother. Just hearing that she was still alive and well filled her heart to the brim. “You have people who care about you, too, Lexa. I’m not the only one who’s lucky.”

Lexa nodded slowly. “I suppose so. I have people like Sierra in my life.” She paused for a long moment, and Clarke wasn’t even sure if she was going to continue her thought. “She was close with my mother.”

Clarke immediately sat up. “…Your mother?” She didn’t want to push Lexa, but Clarke would listen to any information she wanted to give her about her family.

“Yes,” she spoke quietly, her jaw rigid. “I was not that old when my mother…” Her nostrils flared. “Sierra was my mother figure for most of my life. Warriors do not spend a lot of time at home, so I didn’t get to see her often.”

Although her story was choppy, Clarke could get the gist of it. She smiled softly. “I can tell that she knows you well.”

“Yes,” Lexa sighed. “Sometimes better than I know myself.”

“There are more people in your life than I realised,” Clarke answered honestly.

“I know why you would think that. The cold Commander exterior is not particularly inviting.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. “No, it isn’t. But that’s why I’m glad you showed me Lexa. Before everything went crazy with Mount Weather and the war.”

“Me too, Clarke,” Lexa replied. “If there is one thing I do not regret, it is that.”

Clarke sighed. “I hope… I hope that we can continue getting to know each other once this is all over.”

“I would like that very much, Clarke.” Lexa said, and Clarke couldn’t deny that the smile on her face was breathtaking. She refused to believe that this could be one of the last times she saw Lexa smile. “I would have been very disappointed if you didn’t.”

Clarke laughed softly, and the sound made Lexa smile too. Clarke couldn’t deny how well they complemented each other. Clarke had never needed another person to make her feel whole, and she never would, but it sure was nice to have someone who knew her the way Lexa did. Regardless of their statuses, she could be thankful for that.

“I have to go to this meeting,” Lexa sighed heavily, getting up off the bed.

“Am I allowed to come? Being a member of the Coalition, after all.” Clarke smiled innocently.

“ _Unofficially_ a member of the Coalition,” Lexa corrected with a roll of her eyes. “There are ceremonies that need to be had first.”

“So you keep telling me,” Clarke replied with a raised eyebrow. “So, are ‘unofficial’ members of the Coalition allowed to be at meetings?”

“I suppose so,” Lexa sighed. It was her Coalition after all, she _did_ call all the shots. “We better get moving though. After the meeting, I’m supposed to be meeting up with your people. We will see how many of them are on board with this plan.”

Clarke nodded, suddenly feeling a lot more motivated about her day. She knew it was probably wrong to be more excited about a meeting than seeing her people again, but hopefully it wouldn’t be the disaster she thought it would. At least the meeting would be a welcome distraction.

The meeting went by a lot quicker than Clarke thought it would. The leaders of all twelve clans were there, minus the Ice Nation, naturally. Clarke was almost awestruck by the amount of cultural differences she could see in just one room. She knew the Grounders all shared universal beliefs, but she could see the clear distinctions between each clan once they were all in a room together.

Despite the differences, they all shared a common goal. Stopping the Ice Nation so they could sustain peace.

Clarke tried to be as involved as she could, especially since she was the only member of the Sky People actually present, but the war tactics the Grounders used were foreign to her. She made a mental note to have Lexa explain everything to her later. In the meantime, she tried to pay attention to what she could, mostly so she could keep her mind off of her looming reunion with the rest of her people.

Clarke was so lost in her own head that she hadn’t even realised the meeting was over until she felt Lexa’s hand on her shoulder. Clarke’s head snapped up, a small smile breaking out on her face as she looked at Lexa. She looked around the room, noticing that all the clan leaders were getting up and leaving. “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I asked to come here and I didn’t even pay attention.”

“It’s okay. You’re currently an unofficial member of the Coalition, after all,” Lexa said, a smirk touching her lips. The smirk quickly left her face when she spoke again. “You’re thinking about your people coming here, aren’t you?”

Clarke sighed. “Yeah, I can’t help it.”

“They’re going to to be happy to see you,” Lexa tried to reassure her.

“Not _all_ of them.”

Lexa frowned slightly. “Well, you should focus on the ones that _will_ be happy to see you. Your mother, for one. I’m sure Bellamy will be happy to see you too.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Bellamy?”

“Yes. You’ve made your feelings for him quite clear in the past. You always protect him.” Lexa said with a small nod. It didn’t come out resentful, but almost factual, like Lexa knew something that Clarke didn’t. As if it meant that protecting someone automatically meant Clarke was in love with them.

Clarke chuckled. “Lexa, no…” She couldn’t help the amused smile that found its way onto her lips. She wondered what made Lexa think that at all when it wasn’t true at all. “It’s not like that with Bellamy. It never has been.” She looked around the room, making sure it was completely cleared out before reaching for Lexa’s hand. “Besides, the only person I’m remotely interested in is sitting right here in this room.”

Lexa nodded with a small smile. “Oh. I was just curious.”

“I wouldn’t…” Clarke let out a breath. “I wouldn’t do anything with you if I had feelings for somebody else. I know this isn’t important in the grand scheme of things and I know we’re just about to go to war, but I want you to know that I would never do something like that to you. I know how hard it is for you to open up to someone and I would never take advantage of that. Just know that, okay?”

Clarke could’ve sworn Lexa’s eyes were misty when she replied. “I know,” she murmured softly, looking down at their hands. “I hope you know how special you are, Clarke.”

Clarke squeezed her hand before bringing Lexa’s hand to her lips. She kissed the inside of Lexa’s palm lightly, Clarke’s eyes never leaving hers. Clarke kissed her hand again, letting her lips linger this time. “Your hand is trembling,” Clarke murmured, smiling against Lexa’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa whispered, but Clarke could barely hear her. Even if she could, she was far too focused on Lexa’s lips to even comprehend it.

Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand and leaned in slowly, her lips only teasing Lexa’s.

“You know… I think your people would have arrived by now.”

Clarke sighed. “There really is no distracting you, is there?”

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Lexa frowned. “I wish things were different.”

“No, you’re right. There’s a war coming, it’s unfair of me to distract you.” Clarke nodded. “I think I needed the distraction just as much.”

Lexa stood from her chair, straightening out her clothes. She held her hand out to Clarke. “Then we should get it over with. You’ll be less anxious once you are reunited with your people, I promise.”

Clarke took Lexa’s hand and nodded, letting the Commander lead her out of the meeting room and towards the building’s exit. Clarke had been evading this moment for so long, and now it was finally here. She just hoped that her expectations were proven wrong.

\------

The first thing Clarke had noticed was just how many of them there were. Far more people than she had expected had showed up to aid them in the war. Both Lexa and Indra had accompanied Clarke to one of the training grounds. They had chosen that location due to the fact that it was not only secluded, but it wasn’t directly in the heart of the city, so they could iron out the logistics before inviting them into Polis.

The first person Clarke saw was Bellamy. He was standing towards the front of the group, as predicted, and he towered over everyone else. By his side was Octavia, and by her side was Lincoln. The next person she saw was her mother. On one side of her was Kane, on the other was Raven. Monty, Harper, Monroe, Miller, even Jasper was standing off to the side, arms crossed over his chest. There were more people that Clarke didn’t recognise, but the most important ones were there, and that was all that mattered to her.

Clarke was so overwhelmed that she didn’t even know who to look at first.

Naturally, the first person to approach her was her mother. Clarke didn’t stand a chance as soon as Abby started moving. She could already feel tears in her eyes before she had even made it across the field. She let Abby wrap her arms around her tightly, and Clarke felt herself instantly relax into her mother’s embrace. She could tell just by the way her mother was holding her that she had forgiven her for walking out and leaving them. When Abby pulled away, there were tears in her eyes, but before she could process anything, she could see the others slowly approaching her over her mother’s shoulder.

Monty reached her first, and Clarke was sure she had never been hugged tighter in her entire life. Clarke knew that Monty was one of the only people who had always been on her side. Monty had always respected her, and he didn’t need to say anything for her to know that.

Octavia was next, and she was a more hesitant than Monty had been. Lincoln was next to her, and he gave Clarke a warm smile. She and Lincoln had always had a mutual understanding, but they had never gotten the chance to be close. Octavia, on the other hand, was wary.

Octavia kept her at arm’s length until Clarke spoke to her. “I’m glad you came, Octavia.” She made sure to sound as sincere as possible, because if she were being honest, she wasn’t sure if Octavia was going to show up at all. She knew Lincoln wouldn’t miss an opportunity to fight for his people, but the fact that he got Octavia to come along was a feat in itself.

Clarke could spot the moment that Octavia’s resolve disappeared. “Damn it, Clarke,” she whispered, shaking her head as she pulled her old friend in for a hug. Clarke screwed her eyes shut and held Octavia even tighter. “You’ve gotta stop doing this to me.”

“I know,” Clarke murmured, chuckling softly. She knew she had put everyone through hell, but the fact that they were able to joke about it was a step in the right direction.

She had only just pulled away from Octavia when another voice called out to her. “Hey!” The voice was aggressive, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was Raven. The girl came up to her, giving her a good, solid punch in the shoulder. Clarke felt her arm go dead almost immediately as she frowned and stumbled backwards. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lexa take a step forward defensively, before realising that Raven was only joking around. Supposedly. “Hey, don’t give me that face. You deserve all of that and much more after ditching us the way you did.”

Clarke frowned, wondering why Raven even showed up if she was just going to give her a hard time. She had done that enough already over the past weeks. She absentmindedly wondered if Raven planned to fight with her leg the way it was, or if she was going to stay in Polis and work out some sort of technological strategy with their leaders.

“God,” Raven scoffed with a roll of her eyes, taking a step forward to wrap her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. “I’m just glad you’re not dead.”

Clarke’s mouth twitched upwards involuntarily. “Well, it’s good to see you too, Raven.”

When Raven had released her, she saw Bellamy as the last in line to greet her. Everyone else, including Jasper, had hung back. Some of them were looking at her awkwardly, while others weren’t looking at all. Clarke was just glad they had all come. She didn’t need everyone to like or forgive her at the moment.

Clarke smiled when Bellamy met her gaze. She expected him to be the most bitter about her leaving, but the small smile on his face said otherwise. He opened his arms out for a hug and Clarke’s smile only grew as she wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s good to see you, Clarke.”

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Clarke answered honestly when she pulled away.

“And miss the chance to get revenge on some Grounders?” He asked gruffly. “Not likely.”

“Bell, that’s not funny,” Octavia chastised him and Bellamy only rolled his eyes. “You’re in the capital now, show some respect.”

Clarke tried to hide her smile from Octavia, but she failed. It was nice to see that Octavia had still maintained her loyalty to Trikru after all this time. Clarke tried to ignore the way Bellamy had been glaring at Lexa the entire time they were there, but she knew it was only because he didn’t trust her. Clarke could respect that. None of them had seen the side of Lexa that she had. She would be skeptical too, if she were in their position.

“Clarke…” Lexa murmured quietly, and suddenly she was at Clarke’s side. Clarke had forgotten she was there for the most part. “We should get going. Your people need to hear the battle plans from my Generals.”

Kane, who Clarke had been told was the newly elected Chancellor, began to lead the Sky People away from the grounds, along with Indra. It was easy for Clarke to let them go, as they would likely see each other again at sundown. As Abby walked past her, she quickly hugged her daughter one more time, before pressing something firm into Clarke’s hands.

Clarke looked down to see a gun. She hadn’t used a gun since Mount Weather. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “What’s this for?”

“For protection,” her mother told her. “You’ll need it.”

Truth be told, she probably would. She barely knew how to use a knife, and she sure as hell wasn’t adept with a sword. Having guns would give them the edge they needed to win, however unfair it may have been to the opposition. “Thank you,” she said quietly, and her mother patted her shoulder once more before following Kane and the others.

Clarke stared down at the gun in her hands, trying not to think about the last time she used it to end someone’s life.

\------

The sound of war drums was the only thing Clarke had been dreading.

It had been relatively quiet for a few days. Lexa’s scouts hadn’t even picked up any Ice Nation soldiers on the border. It was almost as if they had retreated, but in the end, they all knew that nothing was ever that easy.

They had spent almost a week training. Building up the army to a size that was unfathomable to Clarke. Warriors from all eleven clans were present, as well as the selection of Sky People who had joined them. The Sky People looked largely out of place amongst all the Grounders, but at least they weren’t trying to kill each other. Seeing the two sides train together brought a warmth to Clarke’s heart that she hadn’t felt since the alliance before Mount Weather. After all of this was over, her people would be officially initiated into the Coalition, and they could continue working together.

Of course, her people were hesitant at first. The idea of joining the Coalition and serving Lexa wasn’t exactly appealing to them, but Lexa had been very convincing. Kane was sold almost instantly, and since was the Chancellor, the others didn’t have much of a choice but to follow along after him. Kane wanted everyone to be on board, though, and he and Lexa teamed up to give quite a resounding speech to the Sky People.

Clarke had come to realise that she loved seeing all sides of the Commander. Whether it be warrior Lexa, or political Lexa. She really knew how to inspire an army.

Clarke just hoped all of that would be able to see them through the full-scale battle that was ahead.

The drums came at dawn. A thin layer of fog coated the entire city, and Clarke thought that maybe the Ice Nation were waiting for a morning like this, so they could use it to their full advantage. The city had been evacuated of civilians a couple of days ago, and they had been led away to secluded camps in the woods. This was only a precaution, however, as Lexa’s army was prepared to meet the Ice Nation outside of the city walls.

Lexa was out of bed as soon as she heard the first sound. She got ready in record time, and Clarke tried her best to do the same. Lexa’s army had orders to converge outside the walls and attack any Ice Nation soldiers they may come across. Clarke had a hard time getting Lexa to actually _sleep_ every night, because the Commander was so worried about them striking while she slept. While Clarke knew the concern was valid, if Lexa didn’t get any sleep, then _she_ would be vulnerable in battle. Clarke couldn’t let that happen.

The two of them left the building and stood outside, watching all the warriors rush by them in a flurry.

Lexa was out of breath when she spoke to Clarke. “Do you remember what we talked about?”

Clarke frowned. She had tried to block _that_ particular thing from her mind. Lexa had urged Clarke to stay behind and attend to the wounded. This would mean she wouldn’t be near Lexa at all for the battle. Although her medical skills would have been more useful to the fight, she didn’t like the idea of them being apart. The wounded would be tended to inside Polis’s walls, while Lexa would be outside on the front lines. It made her nervous. Not only was she worried for her safety, but the last time they were separated in battle, Lexa made a deal with the enemy.

“Yes…” Clarke tried to remain impassive. “I remember.”

Lexa’s jaw locked. “And are you going to listen to me or are you going to disobey me?”

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you asking me as my Commander, or as Lexa?”

“Lexa,” she replied almost instantly, taking a step toward Clarke. “I need you to be safe. Leave the fighting to the warriors. You will be invaluable to our healers. I’m not asking you to sit out, but the Ice Nation are ruthless. Their fighting skills far outmatch yours and your people’s. That’s why your guns will stay behind the walls, picking off the warriors as they approach.”

Clarke swallowed, and she felt like she was swallowing everything. Her feelings, her pride, and the argument that was rising in her throat. “If that’s what you require of me, then I’ll do it.”

Lexa smiled, and Clarke knew it was hardly the time to be smiling, but she was so beautiful, and she would take any opportunity she could get to see any form of Lexa’s happiness. Lexa took the final step towards Clarke, her hand reaching for her cheek. They were in public, but nobody was paying attention to them. The pre-war scurry was all around them, but time stood perfectly still between the two of them. If Clarke could pick a moment to stay in forever, she knew this would be it.

“Ai hod yu in,” Lexa murmured softly, and Clarke froze instantly.

Clarke had never actually heard the actual expression before, but she certainly knew what each word meant on their own. After all the times Lexa had told her love was weakness, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was saying. Not to mention that she had been in Polis for a while now, and she had certainly picked up on her fair share of phrases. The words spread a warmth to her chest unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Clarke lifted her arms, her both of her hands landing on Lexa’s cheeks. “Ai niron,” she replied, her voice as tender as it had ever been. “Ste klir.”

“Gon yu,” Lexa whispered, her voice barely audible above the sound of war cries that had begun all around them. “Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.”

It took Clarke a moment, but she got it. It wasn’t the first time she had heard those words either. “May we meet again,” she said quietly with a smile.

“I’m impressed, Clarke,” Lexa murmured, unable to keep her lips from twitching upwards. She leaned forward slightly, placing a ghost of a kiss on Clarke’s lips, and then she was gone.

\------

It was chaotic as soon as Clarke arrived at the medical centre. Abby was already there, coordinating as she always did. She looked flustered, but she smiled when she saw Clarke. Clarke smiled back, but it was only half-hearted. She was already beginning to worry about Lexa, and she couldn’t help but think she would be the Ice Nation’s biggest target out there.

She was instantly regretting not saying the things she needed to say to Lexa.

There was a very good chance she could die today, and Clarke didn’t take that into enough consideration. A part of her wanted to run, wanted to find wherever Lexa was and drag her back into the city so they could wait it out together. But Lexa commanded an entire army and she wasn’t allowed to appear weak. Sometimes Clarke wondered how she fell for someone like Lexa, but she knew that in any other lifetime or universe, love between them would be easy.

In an attempt to not think about Lexa anymore, Clarke went straight to work on those who had already been brought in. The medical facility had been temporarily set up just inside Polis’s walls, so it would be easy for the wounded to be brought to them. It was unnerving being so close to the wall, Clarke could hear not only yelling, but gunfire and the sounds of swords clashing. The battle was well and truly on, and not knowing whether Lexa, or her people, were still alive or not was concerning.

Her mother seemed to notice her anguish, as every so often she would pass by Clarke, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She knew her mother was grateful that she was away from the action, and Clarke was rather thankful too. She didn’t want to be stuck out there with the Ice Nation when she had next to no fighting skills.

For a few hours, everything was normal. Warriors from the various clans came in to be treated. Some made it, while some didn’t. Abby had told Clarke to not be too discouraged about it. This was war, and people were going to die. There was nothing they could do to stop that. Even some of her own people had been wounded. Jasper stumbled in only an hour in, but refused to let Clarke look at him. She accepted it, moving along to her next patient.

Harper arrived soon after on a stretcher, her head was bleeding so much that Clarke could barely see the colour of her skin. Abby had told the Grounder healers that Clarke was to not work on her friends, so Clarke was pushed to another part of the room in order to help somebody else. The brutality of the injuries only made her increasingly nervous. She was covered in other people’s blood, people she had never even met before today.

She found herself glancing at the door every minute, hoping that it wasn’t Lexa or another one of her friends that was brought in next.

A man, presumably a trusted warrior of Lexa’s, came in every so often to give them updates on the battle. If the Ice Nation soldiers advanced on Polis, they had been ordered to retreat from their position, helping as many people as they could. So far, it seemed like Lexa’s army had managed to push _them_ backwards. The warrior was unable to tell Clarke if Lexa was actually alive, however.

Clarke was up and about for hours, moving from patient to patient, and running solely on adrenaline and fear. She knew if she sat down for even a moment, the wheels in her head would start turning, and that wouldn’t be good for anyone. She had refused all of her mother’s attempts to get her to sit down and have a rest. She knew she wouldn’t last much longer though, the sun was going down and other healers would be around to take over Clarke’s shift.

That time came sooner than Clarke had realised. She had been on her feet for hours, and she felt numb. Her shirt and arms were covered in dried blood, and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and lie in Lexa’s tub for hours on end. But, she knew she couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed to stay in the city while the battle was happening. (Lexa had been very strict on that rule.) She had been told to go to Raven, who was in a small outpost outside of Polis, coordinating some of the Sky People. Her leadership skills would be of value there after she caught up on some sleep.

Her mother was staying, as she was overseeing everything in their particular medical centre, and she gave Clarke a lingering kiss on the forehead before she left. Clarke promised her that she would be safe before slipping out of the room.

The air was cool but the night was loud. The streets of Polis were quiet and deserted, and Clarke didn’t like it at all. She was used to the city being so lively. One night, Lexa had taken her to the main square just after dusk, and it was more alive than Clarke had ever seen it. Stalls with flaming torches, food and dancers and children running in circles around them. Clarke had never seen anything so beautiful, and she immediately missed the liveliness of the city.

Clarke hoped that Polis would still be standing after all of this so she could visit the square as many times as she’d like.

She was quiet as she wandered through the streets. Although it was unlikely that anybody had slipped past the army, especially with the battle formation Lexa had planned, she was still being cautious. There were guards lined along the main streets under Lexa’s orders just in case anyone wanted safe passage through the city, but Clarke had to actually get to the main streets first.

Just as she had the first guard in her sights, she was grabbed roughly by the arm and pulled into the nearest back street. She was about to scream to alert the guards that something was wrong, but a hand clamped over her mouth before she could. She knew going for the gun at her waist would be useless if it was a Grounder; whoever it was would kill her in two seconds flat.

She was wracking her brain for other options until the person’s face came into view. She couldn’t help but huff and roll her eyes when she realised it was Indra who had a hold of her. Indra kept her hand over her mouth as she guided Clarke further into the darkness. Any other time, she would’ve been slightly scared if Indra had dragged her into a dimly lit street, but in the middle of a battle, Indra was one of the only people she would feel completely safe with.

Indra looked to be in a hurry, and Clarke narrowed her eyes as she watched her expression. Her heart dropped into her stomach at the thought of it having something to do with Lexa. What if Indra was bringing her bad news? She didn’t think she could handle that. If she lost another person, she was going to go insane.

Once Indra thought they were far enough way, she removed her hand from Clarke’s mouth.

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke hissed, and it came out angry, but she was more concerned. “Is it about Lexa?”

“Yes,” Indra replied breathlessly. “She’s okay, for now. But there were whispers all day that the Ice Queen planned to infiltrate the city undetected. The army was just a distraction, what Queen Nia really wants is Lexa dead. She plans to get Lexa alone so she can kill her. If one of the leaders dies, then the war is over. She’s put together a team of her best warriors, they plan to hide in the shadows while Lexa thinks she will be facing the Queen alone.”

Clarke felt like she was going to throw up. It was information overload all at once, and she didn’t know how to respond. The thought of Lexa being in danger brought on a spur of adrenaline. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we need you. The Queen won’t be suspecting you. She’ll think that Lexa has you hidden away until after the battle is over. If you hide in the shadows, you should be able to have a good angle on her.”

“Wait… you want _me_ to kill the Ice Queen?” Clarke whispered harshly. “How the hell am I supposed to do that?”

“You have a gun, don’t you?” Indra asked. “One bullet and it will all be over. And here,” she added, pulling a knife out of her belt and handing it to Clarke. “Always carry multiple weapons, Clarke. You’ll never know when they might be useful.”

Clarke stared down at the knife, and it was then she realised that her hands were shaking. She wasn’t at all ready for this, but she didn’t really have a choice.

“Clarke,” Indra insisted. “We don’t have time to stand around and wait. The Ice Queen plans to meet with Lexa in the main square. We must hurry.”

Clarke was unable to speak, only giving Indra a small nod as the older woman grabbed her by the arm again and led her away. If they were relying on _Clarke_ to kill the Ice Queen, then they were definitely in trouble.

\------

Indra was able to get the two of them to a good vantage point. The main square was surrounded by buildings, and Indra was able to enter one and camp out inside of it, using one of the lower windows to keep an eye on what was happening outside.

At first, the scene in the square didn’t look that bad.

Lexa was there, and Clarke had let out a breath she didn’t realise she had been holding in. A very large part of her wanted to abandon all their plans, run to Lexa and just Lexa her hold Clarke for as long as she possibly could. Unfortunately, Indra had an iron grip on her arm and Clarke was much more logical than she liked to be.

Standing across from Lexa was presumably the Ice Queen. She was much older than Lexa, and much more terrifying. Even the way she dressed seemed more intimidating. She towered over Lexa in height, but she didn’t look like she could face Lexa in a battle. Clarke then knew why the Queen had brought reinforcements, although, as Indra had predicted, none of them could be seen.

Lexa and the Queen looked to be just talking, but Lexa had her hand resting on the hilt of her sword. Clarke knew that was a tell-tale sign that she was nervous. Knowing that Lexa was anxious made Clarke anxious, and it was just going to continue to be one big cycle of anxiety if one of them didn’t do something soon.

Indra let go of Clarke’s arm as soon as a third person walked out into the square. It was a slim woman with long dark hair and white war paint covering her face. Clearly she was from the Ice Nation, and Clarke felt uneasy about Lexa being outnumbered.

“This is not good,” Indra muttered under her breath.

“Who is that?”

“That’s Ontari, Nia’s right hand. I must intervene.”

Clarke nodded quickly. She didn’t want to be left alone, but she’d rather be alone than have Lexa be left by herself. Clarke laid low as Indra slipped out, making sure that nobody else would be able to see her from where she was. Indra approached calmly, and although she couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other, Clarke could only feel the intensity rise.

Lexa turned towards Indra, and didn’t look at all impressed that she was there.

Everything happened very quickly after that. Ontari drew the sword that was on her back, and both Indra and Lexa stepped backwards in an attempt to defend themselves. Clarke wasn’t sure what had happened to trigger the sudden event, but she was sure Lexa had promised Queen Nia that they would be meeting alone. Clearly, neither party honoured that agreement.

The Ice Nation warriors came out of hiding one by one. There were four of them, and they circled both Lexa and Indra. Clarke didn’t know what to do, if she fired a shot, then her position would be given away. There was no way she could hit Nia, or anyone else for that matter, from as far away as she was. If she charged in there, she would be killed in an instant.

All she could do was wait for the right opportunity.

That didn’t sit well with Clarke at all.

She could hear the Ice Nation warriors and Indra yelling at each other in Trigedasleng, then Indra raised her weapon defensively. The warriors circled around Indra, and Lexa also drew her sword.  

Clarke held her breath as the first warrior struck.

It was clear that Indra was trying to keep their attention off the Commander, but Ontari had also begun swinging her weapon towards Lexa. It was four against one on Indra’s side, and Lexa was against someone who looked to be twice as brutal. The Ice Queen stood back, a smug smirk on her face as she watched the scene unfold. She was enjoying this far too much, but Clarke had the advantage over her at the moment.

Clarke wasn’t sure which fight to look at. Indra was holding her own just fine, even managing to knock two of the Ice Nation warriors to the ground.

Lexa seemed to be evenly matched with her opponent, and Clarke watched, hypnotised as Lexa glided around the square, dodging her every move. Clarke knew she wouldn’t be able to keep that up forever, and she would eventually need to fight back. Lexa’s movements were graceful, but her attacks were not. She was vicious, and Ontari was just about as vicious in response. Clarke could barely see their movements, it was all a blur.

All Clarke could hear was swords clashing and loud yelling. She dragged her eyes back over to Indra where she was still fighting two of the Ice Nation warriors. It was clear she was out of breath, and Clarke was honestly debating whether she should step in to get their attention off of her. She didn’t want to just sit there and watch Indra die when she could do something. Before she made up her mind, though, one of the Ice Nation warriors kicked Indra firmly in the gut, causing her to fall to her knees. The other warrior used the hilt of his blade to knock Indra over the back of the head.

Clarke could see that she was bleeding all the way from across the square. From what Lexa had told her of the Ice Nation, they preferred long and slow deaths filled with suffering. They would want to make Lexa suffer as much as possible before killing her. They weren’t just going to slit Indra’s throat, so Clarke still had time.

The two Ice Nation warriors circled around Lexa. Clarke held her breath, but she could see that the Ice Queen was gesturing for them to stay out of the fight. It was just between Lexa and Ontari now, and she watched the two of them circling each other like animals stalking their prey. The Queen had a smile on her face, clearly she was enjoying the show.

Clarke wanted nothing more than to knock the smile right off.

Once Lexa had seen that Indra had been taken out, the fighting became very dirty, very quickly. Clearly Lexa didn’t care about seeming graceful anymore. Kicking, punching and hair pulling became heavily involved in Lexa’s tactics. At one point, Ontari had her back to Lexa, and Lexa pulled hard on her braids, forcing her chin upwards. Lexa took the opportunity to step forward, grabbing Ontari in chokehold and pressing the blade of her sword to her neck.

Nia looked visibly shocked by the action, and Clarke knew that then would have been the perfect moment to come out of hiding and take a shot at her. However, before she could, yet another person came out from behind the shadows. He was twice the size of Lexa, with dark, long hair and matching white war paint. He was already wielding a long spear, and Clarke felt herself freeze in place. They were outnumbered once again, and by someone who could probably take them all out with one hit.

The man kicked Lexa in the back of the knees, forcing her to let go of Ontari and fall to the ground. Clarke drew her gun, even though she was too far away to make a good shot, she had to be ready. If she emerged now, they would likely kill Lexa instantly. But the waiting was killing her.

Lexa struggled to get back up, and that’s when Roan began kicking her body. The grunts of pain Clarke could hear were torturous so she took a couple of cautious steps towards the action, making sure to stay quiet. She needed to get into a good position to take the shot. She managed to go around the square slowly, sticking to the shadows and hoping that everyone was far too focused on Lexa to notice her.

Once she reached a vantage point that was closer to them, Lexa had used the last bit of her strength to outstretch her leg, using it to trip up Roan for just a moment. She only needed the one moment to be able to get back on her feet. She was leaning to one side, clearly in a great deal of pain. There was no way Lexa was going to be able to take any more fighting.

Clarke had to act fast or Lexa wasn’t going to last much longer.

Her hands were shaky, but she lifted her gun anyway. Ontari was standing closest to her, and she was blocking Clarke’s view of the Ice Queen. It was the only shot she could take, and she took it. Making sure she stayed hidden to confuse them, she fired the gun straight at Ontari.

The bullet hit Ontari in the abdomen, and the situation only became more frenzied after that. Everybody looked in the direction of the bullet, and Clarke knew she had been spotted. Clarke stepped out into the square, just the man who had been fighting Lexa moved towards her. Ontari was on the ground bleeding, so there was no immediate threat to Lexa anymore. The Queen was now being guarded by her two remaining warriors, so Clarke had no chance at going for her.

Once Lexa had spotted that it was Clarke who had fired the gun, it was like she gained a sudden burst of energy. She pulled a knife from her belt, and the Ice Queen only had enough time to yell before Lexa hurled the knife with perfect precision straight at the man’s back. The knife lodged straight into the man’s shoulder, and he yelled out in pain. Clarke’s mind was overrun with adrenaline, and she didn’t even think about her actions before lifting the gun and pointing it at the man’s head.

She fired the gun once more, and before she knew it, he was on the ground, blood pooling beneath his head. Clarke’s legs gave way and she fell forward, her knees landing in the stream of blood.

“ _Roan_!” Nia screamed out in anguish, and despite the immense pain she was in, Lexa managed to pick her sword up off the ground. Unfortunately, the two remaining warriors by Nia’s side were on Lexa in an instant. Lexa was barely able to defend herself as one of the warriors slashed at her, causing blood to begin pouring out of her arm. Lexa cried out in pain, and the sound sent shivers down Clarke’s spine.

Clarke lifted the gun again, but she was shaking far too much, and her vision was too blurry for her to make a proper shot. She didn’t want to waste the bullets, so she tried her best to get up off the ground. Remembering the knife that Indra had given her, she pulled it from her belt and held it in front of her for a measly amount of protection.

Once Nia had seen Clarke begin to approach her, she growled angrily, pulling her own, admittedly much larger knife from her waist and charging towards Clarke. Clarke didn’t know if the Queen was adept in combat, but she didn’t want to find out.

Fortunately for her, she didn’t have to. As Nia was rushing towards her, the blade of a sword was suddenly thrust through her chest. Clarke looked over the Queen’s shoulder to see it was Lexa’s handiwork. Taking her eyes off of Nia’s guards had cost Lexa dearly though, as they took the opportunity to slash at Lexa more from behind. The material parts of her armour were shredded and blood soaked every single inch of her.

Clarke lifted the gun once more as Nia’s body fell beside her. Despite her trembling hands, her proximity to the remaining two warriors allowed her to kill them with ease, firing two more shots which left them on the ground bleeding out.

Lexa stood in front of Clarke, her shoulders hunched and her eyes wide with shock as all of the events caught up with her. Clarke stopped, looking down at her hands shaking violently. She dropped the gun in an instant, as if it was on fire. She had just used it to kill four people, and after the events at Mount Weather, that was more than enough for her.

“Clarke…” Lexa breathed out huskily, and Clarke’s head snapped back upwards. “Clarke, it’s okay. It’s okay… You did the right thing,” she whispered almost unintelligibly as she dropped her sword to the ground. She doubled over in pain, and it was then Clarke could see the extent of her injuries. She had deep cuts on both arms, and one long slash across her abdomen. Clarke knew she would have some on her back too, and she was quickly losing blood.

Clarke couldn’t even speak, but she made her way over to Lexa, throwing her arm over her shoulder in a hurry. There was nothing she could do for her there, but if she was able to get back to her mother, maybe they could prevent more blood loss. Clarke didn’t have time to contemplate what she had just done, instead choosing to slowly help Lexa over to where a semi-conscious Indra lay.

Indra’s breathing was ragged as she spoke. “You… You get her to the healers, you hear me?” She asked Clarke, and the blonde wasn’t about to argue with her. “Tell someone I’m here and they’ll come for me. But she needs help _now._ Is that clear?”

“Yes,” Clarke choked out, and it was then she realised that she was crying. Lexa was barely conscious leaning against her, but she had to make her walk to be able to get across to where the guards were. She was surprised the sound of the commotion hadn’t carried across the entire city, but then again, there was a whole war going on outside the walls.

It took far too long for her to reach the guards on her own. Once Clarke did, she immediately lost her footing and collapsed on the ground in a heap with Lexa, hitting her head hard against the stone as the guards rushed towards them.

\------

Clarke had decided that she was sick of waking up in medical tents.

She had been slipping in and out of consciousness for what felt like forever. It frustrated her. She knew there were people coming to visit, she could hear the voices of her mother, Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, but not Lexa. She tried not to worry too much about that; Lexa had been in a much worse condition than she had. She needed more time to recuperate.

Once Clarke did awaken, it was late afternoon and her head was pounding. She was in the same medical centre she had been working in before it all happened, the one run by her mother. It turned out that she hadn’t been unconscious for all that long, hours at most. When she fell, she had managed to give herself a nasty concussion, and beyond cuts and bruises, that was all that was physically wrong with her.

Her mother was the first person to see her when she woke. Naturally, the first thing Clarke asked about was Lexa, and for some reason, she was expecting the worst. Clarke thought that was how it worked, especially in this world. You were supposed to expect the worst and suck it up when it was given to you. Except, that wasn’t the case at all. Hearing ‘Lexa is fine’ from her mother brought her a sense of relief like never before.

The second thing she asked about was the war, and Clarke had been told that the Azgeda army had retreated once the news of the death of their Queen had reached them. Which didn’t take too long, thanks to Indra, who had been picked up shortly after Clarke and Lexa had been discovered by the guards. Indra had even come to visit Clarke briefly, before telling her that Lexa had been asking for her.

Clarke’s mother didn’t want Clarke out of bed, but that didn’t stop her. (When had it ever before?) She was in one of the partitioned sections, and she combed through the others, looking for any sign of Lexa. Once she reached her section, the sight wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it would be. Lexa was sitting on the edge of her bed, all of her armour had been stripped away and her war paint had mixed in with the dried blood on her face.

Clarke had never kissed anybody so hard in her entire life.

Before Clarke could even get a word in about Lexa’s recovery, Lexa had instantly asked her if she was okay. Clearly she remembered Clarke’s reaction to killing Nia, Roan and the warriors. Lexa was always infinitely patient with Clarke, and she waited until the blonde could formulate some sort of response.

“I’m okay,” Clarke replied truthfully. And she was. She just needed time. “It’s just… hard to think about. It reopened some old wounds that I’d very much like to heal, that’s all.”

“Will you ever want to talk with me about it?” Lexa asked quietly, not probing, but just curious.

“Yes,” Clarke nodded, because if there was anyone she would share her feelings with, it would be Lexa. “I promise.”

“You did the right thing, Clarke.” Lexa reassured her, taking her hand. “If you hadn’t been there, I would be dead, and the Coalition would have shattered. Once again, I owe you everything,” she said with a soft smile.

“You owe me nothing, Lexa. You’re a part of me now… I would do anything for you, I hope you know that,” Clarke murmured, looking down as she watched Lexa play with her fingers. “I think it’s… Ai hod yu in… right?”

Lexa wouldn’t have been able to contain her smile even if she tried. It was a very rare grin that Clarke didn’t get to see very often. “Yes, that’s perfect.”

Clarke turned her head so she could place a firm kiss on Lexa’s cheek. “Now you have to tell me about you,” she spoke seriously. “What did my mom say about your injuries?”

“They were just cuts and stab wounds. Deep ones, yes, but they’ve been cleaned and sewed and bandaged. I lost a lot of blood, but that was the extent of it.”

Clarke was relieved to hear that Lexa was fine from her own mouth. She was a lot tougher than Clarke ever gave her credit for. “…And what about the bodies?”

“They will be burned once I leave here and reclaim my Commander duties.”

Lexa looked rather impassive, but Clarke narrowed her eyes at her. “How does it feel? To know that she’s gone…?”

Lexa let out a heavy breath, like she had been holding it in for years. “Peaceful. Like I’m finally at peace. Like Costia’s finally at peace. That was something that weighed me down for a very long time. All I wanted was to avenge her.”

Clarke smiled. “I hope she is. She’ll be proud of you, Lexa. You’ve done incredible things. I know I am.” She told her sincerely, nodding.

Lexa smiled slightly. “You know… Ontari was the one who did it. Who tortured and killed her. Under Nia’s orders.”

Clarke bit her lip, her mind flashing back to shooting the girl. They had left her to bleed out on the ground, and the guards had informed her that there were no survivors in the main square. She had taken so many lives without thought, and she didn’t know how she felt about it anymore.

“Hey,” Lexa murmured, placing a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “I know how you’re feeling, Clarke, but you don’t have to run. Not this time. You and I share this burden, and I will not let it destroy you.”

Clarke shook her head before turning her head towards her. “I don’t plan on running this time, Lexa. I can’t keep abandoning everything when something goes wrong, I know that now. I finally feel safe, and the lives I took were not innocent ones.” Not to mention, Lexa would be dead if she hadn’t done what she did. She didn’t exactly enjoy the idea of calling the Ice Queen her new overlord.

“I promise that you and I will get through this,” Lexa vowed. She always spoke with such conviction, that it was impossible for Clarke to not believe her.

“As long as you don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t. Never again.”

\------

The next day, both Clarke and Lexa had been able to leave medical and return to Lexa’s house, although Lexa was under strict instructions from Abby to take it easy. Now that the Commander was back in action again, the Coalition had hosted quite a few post-war meetings that Clarke was required to attend. Although she wasn’t up for interacting with people, she felt it was her duty as an almost-member of the Coalition.

Clarke had just come out of the last of the meetings. This was the one she had paid attention to the most. They discussed where they were going to go from their current point. Clarke had learned that the man she had killed was Roan, Nia’s son. Therefore, all direct lines to the throne had been diminished. Lexa had decided that the Coalition was still going strong, and she agreed to keep the Ice Nation in the Coalition if the leader was someone she trusted completely.

It ended up being one of Lexa’s old friends who had wholeheartedly disagreed with the Queen’s agenda. Despite this newfound trust, Clarke was sure she wouldn’t be going near the Azgeda any time soon.

Clarke exited the meeting room before anybody else had. She needed fresh air, and she felt far too clustered in there when everyone was talking and she could feel all eyes on her. The other clan leaders knew that Clarke was the one the Ice Nation had captured, and they all wanted to know that Queen Nia had wanted with her.

Thankfully, Lexa kept it all to herself.

Clarke made it outside and wandered onto the balcony. The meeting halls were on top of the hill, and an entire view of Polis could be seen from the front balcony. She rested her elbows against the wooden railing and looked out towards the city, inhaling deeply.

Clarke stood there for a long while, seemingly lost in her own world. She wasn’t snapped out of it until someone entered her periphery. She jumped slightly; seeing the person had surprised her. She was still rather jumpy after the confrontation with Ontari, Roan and the Ice Queen, and every little thing seemed to scare her.

She let out a relieved breath when she saw it was Lexa. Although Clarke knew that Lexa was alright as soon as she had woken up, it comforted her to know she was up and about again. Lexa gave her a warm smile, and it reminded Clarke of when they had first come to Polis together. Before Lexa had realised that the Ice Nation were after them, she looked about as weightless and free as she did now.

Lexa came up to stand next to her on the balcony, her hands resting against the railing. She scanned the beautiful view in front of her, the slight breeze catching the loose ends of her hair. She only had very few braids in, and she was war paint free. Clarke hoped she could be war paint free for a long time to come.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked gently.

Clarke nodded slowly. “I’m… still a little jumpy, that’s all.”

Lexa nodded understandingly. She hadn’t said too much to Clarke about what had happened that night beyond what she had said in the medical centre. Lexa knew it would have been especially traumatizing for her. “Would you like to go back with your people when they leave?” She asked suddenly, not even looking at Clarke as she spoke. “Kane has just left to tell everyone that the meetings have finished.”

Clarke found it difficult to read Lexa’s current expression. She was perfectly poised, with her back straight and head high as she stared out across her domain. “Would you _like_ me to leave?”

“Of course not, Clarke,” Lexa said immediately, turning to look at Clarke. “Now that it’s all over, I was wondering if that’s what you would like.”

Clarke sighed. “No… No, I don’t want to go back. Not yet.”

“Why?” Lexa asked tentatively, feeling like she was being nosy for asking.

Clarke shrugged. “This city… This position I’m in… _You_ … They’re all things I’m not ready to give up just yet. And besides, don’t you need someone from my clan to be in Polis at all times?”

“Well, yes,” Lexa said. “But that could be anyone.”

“It really sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me, Lexa.” Clarke replied, eyebrow raised.

“I promise that I’m not.” Lexa gave her an affectionate look, which was something she did often without realising it. “I do want you to stay. All I want is your happiness, Clarke.”

“I am happy,” Clarke declared, not being able to help the soft expression she had when she looked at Lexa. “Yes, I have things to work through. I have fears to conquer and I have demons to face, but… I meant what I said to you the other day. That you’re a part of me and nothing will change that.”

“You’re making it very hard for me to be logical right now, Clarke.” Lexa murmured, and Clarke could see the blush rise on her cheeks.

“Then I’m staying,” Clarke spoke, a smile appearing on her face. There was nothing more satisfying than knowing they were finally in a time of peace and Clarke could focus on herself for a change. Herself, and Lexa. “Plus,” she started again, an excited glint in her eyes, “you promised to teach me how to fight.”

Lexa laughed quietly. “Yes, I did. Let us hope that I do not live to regret that promise.”

“You know, that’s really not the way to talk to someone you supposedly love,” Clarke replied with another raised eyebrow.

“My sincere apologies, Clarke of the Sky People,” Lexa murmured, a small smirk growing on her face. “I’ll be sure to make it up to you.”

Clarke wore a smirk that rivalled Lexa’s as she let her shoulder bump against the brunette’s. “I hope so, Commander.” She turned back towards the view. The fresh air was intoxicating. Even after months on the ground, Clarke was still in awe by every single little thing that Earth had to offer her. Including the people that Earth had to offer her. “How’s your shoulder?”

Lexa shrugged, but Clarke could tell that action only irritated her shoulder more. She winced slightly. “It’s fine. What’s another kill scar?” She murmured, mostly to herself.

“This one’s different,” Clarke said adamantly as she looked at Lexa. “You defeated the only enemy you had left. Now you finally have peace. That’s not a kill scar, it’s a victory scar.”

“ _You_ defeated that enemy, Clarke.” Lexa reminded her as she turned towards her. “First Mount Weather… and I wouldn’t have defeated the Queen without you.”

Clarke was the first to say she was tired of being hailed a hero for killing people, but she decided to let this one slide for Lexa’s sake. “Well, you can keep the kill scars. I don’t want them,” she joked, a teasing smile appearing on her face.

It worked, and Lexa relaxed slightly. “Do you remember… before Mount Weather… I asked you what you wanted, and you said you wanted nothing?”

Clarke nodded. The memory was burning in her brain. Every moment she spent with Lexa was. It was like her subconscious forced her to remember every single encounter, every single touch, every single word she had spoken to Lexa. Not that she was complaining. The girl _had_ had a profound impact on her life after all. More profound than anyone else she had ever met in her life.

“I wanted to ask you the same question again.”

Clarke thought about it, but only for a brief moment. “My answer would be the same.”

Lexa turned her head again to look at Clarke.

“I don’t want anything because I have everything I want,” Clarke answered with a nod. She turned to look at Lexa, knowing she would never get over the amount of affection that Lexa looked at her with. “Most of our people survived, you’re here, and I have a purpose here. That’s all that matters.”

Lexa’s lips twitched. “I like that answer very much, Clarke.”

“Me too,” Clarke murmured quietly, moving her hand so that it was covering Lexa’s on top of the railing.

Lexa didn’t say anything else, but Clarke knew neither of them needed to. For once, they were content to sit and enjoy a quiet moment. In a place where all threats of war had been extinguished and the only sounds that could be heard was the wind in the trees. Peace came in many forms, but for Lexa, she knew this was as good as it got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be 90 pages all up. Yikes.
> 
> Honestly though, this was so fun to play around with, and Clarke and Lexa feel so easy and natural for me to write, which is refreshing. Clearly most of this isn’t canonically correct now that S3 has started, I just felt like writing something that was slightly more upbeat, because God knows what’s going to happen to Lexa and Clexa in the future lmao.
> 
> More rough Trigedasleng translations:
> 
> Ai hod yu in. = I love you.  
> Ai niron. = My love/loved one/lover. (Could also be 'ai hodnes'.)  
> Ste klir. = Be/Stay safe.  
> Gon yu. = For you.  
> Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim. = May we meet again.


End file.
